Spending over $1000/month on entertainment...help

[annibe11e]

When I go through lazy stages and don't want to cook, I just stock up on Lean Gourmet meals. I'm 5'7" and female, so obviously your needs are different, but having something easy to make in the freezer curbs spending for me.

Is drinking a way of socializing? Or a way of coping? If it's socializing, may I suggest a coffee shop? If it's coping, may I suggest recovery? Even if it's short term to reset yourself.

Could you be suffering from depression? Might be worth looking into.

Good luck!

[Katsumi_Toda]

I'm starting to feel I do have some kind of depression, and yes, the alcohol/cigarettes/bad food are my means of self-medicating.

I don't know what exactly it will take to get me back into the gym. It seems every day I fell myself, tomorrow.

5 years time? I really have no idea. I mean, the most sensible thing for me to do would be to complete this bachelor's, then in 5 years time be working as a travel nurse doing a contract somewhere for a few months then taking a month off and repeat. I've considered medical school, but I'm just not sure if I want that to become my existence and consume me, you know. The doctors without boarders or world health organization is something I'd like to do. I don't ever see myself having a family again, and I definitely don't want a house with 2.4 children. I'd like to be in Africa living simply and helping those in need with the skills I do have (ideally I need at least the RN for this). I sometimes think I want to just **** it all off and travel a bit, just shoot off on my own, but I have this overwhelming sense of responsibility and feeling that I must secure a "decent" future. I have friends who've travelled all over and are now living in other countries. However, they work crappy jobs and are always broke. I don't want that.

I don't like this idea of working for my retirement. Although, like I mentioned, this sense of responsibility won't allow me to forget that its coming. I am young and fit right now. My job is stressful. Sometimes it is unfulling, as healthcare in the states is shifting more and more towards a hotel/restaurant-type service industry, which I despise. We do help people, but ultimately we are just pawns, drones that facilitate the accusation of wealth for huge healthcare companies.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now.

Its a lifestyle change that I need. I feel it coming and am well aware of its necessity. I am just yet to act.

[Gailete]

I don't like this idea of working for my retirement

I realize that it is a depressing thought, but at 32, retirement can be here before you know it! As I mentioned I'm a nurse as well and at age 46 got side-lined due to physical problems and have never been back to work outside of the house. Short term disability saved the day for 6 months, but since then I bring in 1/3 of what I used to make on SS. Obviously it might not happen to you and I sincerely hope not, but the more you have tucked away the better and saving for retirement needs to be started early and account fed often.

Might I suggest a counselor? You certainly do sound depressed and need to get a grip. You can set 5 year goals by making lists of what you think you want to do and then thinking of the pros and cans of each. You might want to see one of those life coaches that seem to be all the rage now as they may be able to see through the fog you are walking in. You can also try volunteering and your depression that you are working through might be lifted to see and help those in far worst shape than you are. Charitable agencies are always on the lookout for volunteers and it doesn't just have to be soup kitchens. Depending on your abilities you could also volunteer at local playhouses/theatres whether in front of the crowd or in the back making scenery. Same as joining a singing group. Open your eyes to the possibilities. One of the hardest things that I had to deal with with depressed patients is just getting them moving in any direction. You need to put one foot in front of the other and start moving. Best wishes. It is a tough climb out of the sinkhole of depression.

[Katsumi_Toda]

I realize that it is a depressing thought, but at 32, retirement can be here before you know it! As I mentioned I'm a nurse as well and at age 46 got side-lined due to physical problems and have never been back to work outside of the house. Short term disability saved the day for 6 months, but since then I bring in 1/3 of what I used to make on SS. Obviously it might not happen to you and I sincerely hope not, but the more you have tucked away the better and saving for retirement needs to be started early and account fed often.

Might I suggest a counselor? You certainly do sound depressed and need to get a grip. You can set 5 year goals by making lists of what you think you want to do and then thinking of the pros and cans of each. You might want to see one of those life coaches that seem to be all the rage now as they may be able to see through the fog you are walking in. You can also try volunteering and your depression that you are working through might be lifted to see and help those in far worst shape than you are. Charitable agencies are always on the lookout for volunteers and it doesn't just have to be soup kitchens. Depending on your abilities you could also volunteer at local playhouses/theatres whether in front of the crowd or in the back making scenery. Same as joining a singing group. Open your eyes to the possibilities. One of the hardest things that I had to deal with with depressed patients is just getting them moving in any direction. You need to put one foot in front of the other and start moving. Best wishes. It is a tough climb out of the sinkhole of depression.

Thank you. . And I'm sorry to hear about your injury.

Regarding the retirement thing: its not so much that getting old is depressing. Its the idea of spending the rest of my life working only for retirement. When I was doing home health I met a patient who said something that's always stuck with me. He was in his 60s and had some debilitating disease (can't remember what. It was an odd one though), and he had travelled all over in his younger -middle age- days with his wife. He said he was glad he had done it then and not waited until later, as if he had, he'd be screwed...having acquired this disease.

I've pulled myself out of a very isolated and depressed life before. I know the formula. Its finding the motivation. I have been looking around for groups/clubs/volunteering to participate in.

Thanks again.

[Gailete]

he had travelled all over in his younger -middle age- days with his wife. He said he was glad he had done it then and not waited until later, as if he had, he'd be screwed...having acquired this disease.

I can echo that as well only I did the traveling before I got married and then a few vacations after that. I have bad RA now and just don't have the steam barely to drive to doctor apt. that are 40 miles round trip, much less travel. So I live on line and in my books, etc. and have hobbies that I can do from home as well as charity causes that I make quilts for so I feel like I'm still doing something worthwhile in life.

[katherinejones24]

$1000 a month is a lot but I see how you spend it bit by bit without you noticing it and it goes out of hand already. I think what you should do is develop a budget.

You actually started the first step which is to assess your expenses. Write them down compare them to your monthly earnings and see where you can cut down. Anothe important thing you shoudl start to do is allocate a budget for your savings. Make it mandatory.

Hope this helps.

[annibe11e]

You want to travel before it's too late to enjoy it, but there's never "extra" money. The mentality is to pay off all your bills first. Might I suggest something a little different? Start saving for travel right now.

I read a book that I don't remember the name of, but it suggested figuring out what your dream is and to start saving for it now, no matter your situation. You create a "dream box" (mine is a canning jar), label it and put money in it. I seriously am only putting my pocket change into it, but it's a source of motivation knowing that I'm working towards something I really want. Someday, I'll find a way to put more money towards that dream, but at least I'm doing something now.

This will probably be contrary to most of the advice you'll find on here, but I suffer from depression as well and all of the money I work for going to bills, debts, and obligatory savings was having a negative effect. I still pay all of my bills and debts and I am saving for retirement and emergencies.

I actually have 3 dream "boxes" right now and it's been very interesting to see how the importance of these things shifts. Basically, the three things that its unrealistic for me to do right now, but that are very important to me are college, a house, and a trip to Panama. Every week, I take whatever I have left over from my spending cash and allocate it between the three goals. We're talking $1.50 or so. Lately, I've noticed that I put the most (or even all of it) into my college box. It's a very neat way to identify what's important to you and watch how your desires and priorities change. It's almost like voting with money.

I don't know if that's something that would work for you, but I thought I would throw it out there. Please don't let yourself suffer too long. I recently got back on my antidepressants and I really wish I'd done it sooner.

[hamchan]

I read a book that I don't remember the name of, but it suggested figuring out what your dream is and to start saving for it now, no matter your situation. You create a "dream box" (mine is a canning jar), label it and put money in it. I seriously am only putting my pocket change into it, but it's a source of motivation knowing that I'm working towards something I really want. Someday, I'll find a way to put more money towards that dream, but at least I'm doing something now.

Be extremely careful with this. I used to have something like this too. It disappeared from my house. Not a single person that I did not know had been in my house, and I still don't know what happened to it. I had several hundred in there, and losing it was just sickening. I will never keep that much cash in my home again.

[disneysteve]

Be extremely careful with this. I used to have something like this too. It disappeared from my house. Not a single person that I did not know had been in my house, and I still don't know what happened to it. I had several hundred in there, and losing it was just sickening. I will never keep that much cash in my home again.

I see nothing wrong with keeping cash in your house. In fact, for emergencies I think it is critical. But don't just stick it in a jar on the shelf for all to see. Have a good hiding place. Even better, have a safe installed. My brother-in-law has one that is cemented into the basement floor.

[Gailete]

I had a jar on the counter as well that I started to notice the level was going down. So lined up the boys and asked who was taking the money. Turns out it was my step-son (who I figured all along was the culprit). His excuse is he thought it was money there for the taking! After a discussion about why you don't take money that you had no part of collecting, left him with dire threats if he ever did it again. I have no problems with leaving a money jar out and my son gets into when he is rolling coins and he needs 5 more pennies, he will put a nickel in the jar and take out the pennies he needs. Never have to worry about him cheating or stealing even a penny from me. The step son left when his free spending dad got the boot.

It is sad to live in a home where you can't trust the others in it. My SIL lost here engagement ring that way. Took it off while washing her hands and forgot to put it back on. Everyone denied seeing it, but it was never found afterwards.

[hamchan]

I see nothing wrong with keeping cash in your house. In fact, for emergencies I think it is critical. But don't just stick it in a jar on the shelf for all to see. Have a good hiding place. Even better, have a safe installed. My brother-in-law has one that is cemented into the basement floor.

It actually was hidden. Not cemented under the floor, but hidden.

[hamchan]

It is sad to live in a home where you can't trust the others in it. My SIL lost here engagement ring that way. Took it off while washing her hands and forgot to put it back on. Everyone denied seeing it, but it was never found afterwards.

I know for sure it was not anyone who lives here. Part of the problem was that it was hidden, and I had not added money to it in some time, so I have no idea how long it had been missing. I still hold out hope that it may turn up, but having torn the house apart more than once, I'd be shocked if it did.