Single mom worries!

**bjl584** · 02-07-2013, 03:57 AM

OK. Take a breath. Relax.....

I think you should start by posting up a detailed budget so we can all take a look. List incomes, debts, assets, and expenses for the month. Be as detailed as possible.

**97guns** · 02-07-2013, 04:58 AM

your not going to be able to jump into a nice 3 bedroom home, you will have to start off slow. look for a little studio apartment, once on your feet then move up.

**phantom** · 02-07-2013, 05:40 AM

Keep in mind that, as you get bills paid off, you'll have more money to work with, and it's going to get easier. Also, you say you've had to help your husband out in the past, and you shouldn't have to do that anymore. So, that should lighten your load a bit too.

Why the rush to move out on your own again? There's no shame in relying on family a bit while you get some bills cleaned up and work on making it to the point where you can support yourself. As long as no one's pushing you out the door and there's enough room for you, I'd stay put a while longer.

As bjl584 said, if you provide some more detailed information, we can probably provide more useful help.

**freeme journey** · 02-07-2013, 08:46 AM

From one nurse to another...

first take a deep breath, and now...
isn't it wonderful to be in a profession where we will always have work and an income!!!
Although I haven't been through the separation of a marriage, I can relate to the overwhelm - it's so tough especially when you have a young child depending on you.
Reading your story reminded me of my tough times and I am hoping that I can give you some hope (even if it's only for today and tomorrow).
Being independent is so much part of our professional makeup, but there are times as nurses when we have to accept help and support from other people ie. family, friends - and this is your time. Stay with the family and let them support you emotionally more than anything else (contribute to the household if it makes you feel better or if it is expected) but don't try to go through this adjustment on your own. Remember your baby can sense your anxiety and needs the stability.
As for the finances, while you are with your family it will be easier for you to pick up the extra one or two shifts a month which help with the finances and then baby will be looked after as well.
There is so much I want to say and help with but as with anything, it will only be one day at time for you for a while.
Gratitude got me through my darkest and toughest days - especially gratitude for the profession I chose - nursing gives me the opportunity to work if I am willing.
Lots of hugs to you and your baby you will be okay!!!!

**freeme journey** · 02-07-2013, 08:58 AM

PS from one nurse to another...

Join us on the daily blogs - it really helps to get through the tough times...

**mavycharm** · 02-07-2013, 08:55 PM

Save for Emergency

Panicking will worsen your situation. They're right, there are people out there who are less capable than you are. You have a decent job, you earn good. You can always make a budget management out of your earnings and expenses. Just take time to put everything in place, slowly by slowly you will see changes when you do well with your budget and save.

**tamera 222** · 02-08-2013, 01:18 AM

Thanks!

Ok here goes...

As I stated before I do not have any credit card debt.

I make about 2,000 a month after taxes.

300 Health insurance for my child and myself
280 Car payment
65 Phone
90 Car insurance
100+ Baby expenses
150 (give or take) Gas
100 food/drinks mis...

Ok now I have not been working on paying off the medial bills... I am going to pay off Verizon to which I owe like 1,500(STUPID!) with my tax return before they start trying to take me to court or something. My hospital/medical bills are in excess I believe of 6,000. Unless something happens I am getting several thousand back on my tax return. I claim 0 to get more back...

As far as my staying with my family. They have been great! I am however at my breaking point. Im 30 and have been on my own for a long time! They seem to think I am a child and expect me to be home at certain times, and are all in my business about what I do with my child. I appreciate their help, but I cant keep living with them and being treated this way. They are unreasonable and talking to them about it will not work. I just need a game plan, but I am scared to death! The husband is NOT a provider which is why I have not tried to make it work since seperating. He does not help at all with the baby. Divorce would be another expense, and it will not make him do anything... So I hope you all can help me to make a decision on what to do now...

I actually looked at a house today for 475 a month but am not getting it... Im just so stressed! It is not overwhelming yet I am trying to prevent that!

**Treeluva** · 02-09-2013, 04:19 PM

My advice, as a previous single mother of two young children, is to NOT panic. Nope. What you need is a plan of action. Sit down with a pen and piece of paper. Write down where you want to be in say, 5 years. 3 years. 1 year. Once you know where you want to go, figure out what you have to accomplish to get there.

Then look and see if it is even feasible for you to meet those timelines. No one likes to see that it may be impossible with their particular situation to not be where they want to be in a year - but it is important to be extremely honest with yourself so you can actually meet your goals.

You will make it out of this current situation - that I am sure of - as long as you are setting reasonable goals for yourself and actively working on those goals to bring yourself to where you want to be.

Single mom worries!