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Am I doing okay financially for my age?

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    Am I doing okay financially for my age?

    My husband has terrible credit and money issues. I always had great credit and plenty of money, but once I met him that all changed. I have had to pay bills for him and since his credit is so bad he couldn't get a 25,000 loan to buy a new motorcycle so I put it in may name. He used my credit card to pay for $4000 worth of stuff FOR the motorcycle. He is paying me the needed amount every month to pay things off but the fact still remains is that I have nearly $30,000 (well about $25,000 now) in loan debt due to him.

    At age 41 this is what I currently have as monetary assets:

    $32,000 in checking/savings
    $30,000 in CDs
    $65,000 in my IRA

    This is solely me, in my name. My husband pretty much has zilch except for his paychecks and whatever he has in his 401k. I realize that I never should have let him coerce me into the loan. I freak out because I really only have $27,000 that I can use right now. I can't touch the IRA for about another 20 years and I don't WANT to touch the CDs (besides I can't without a penalty of withdrawal).

    As far as where I am, am I doing okay regardless of the loan and credit card?

    #2
    Its hard to say either way without getting a glimpse at the rest of your budget picture.

    Could you list combined income, debt (mortgage, credit card, loans, etc) with the total amount and interest rates? Once you post that info I'm sure there will be many folks who will chime in and give you a good plan for how to tackle your situation.

    Comment


      #3
      I'm not judging here, but it sounds an awful lot like you two are not on the same page as far as finances goes.

      Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but when you say that "he pays you" it comes across as him writing you a check or handing over some cash to take care of YOUR (singular) loan, as opposed to him doing his duty to pay for the loan himself. And putting $4k on your credit card after the fact...was this expense not considered when he bought the motorcycle?

      Also, you said that your financial situation changed when you met him. Assuming you were ok with that during the dating process, what right do you really have to complain? I don't want to come across as harsh, but you had to know this going in to marriage, right?

      Finally, you are asking in the first person singular a lot. Do you not consider your marriage a joint financial agreement? If you plan on continuing as-is and your husband doesn't change, that money you indicated as "yours" might as well be his.

      Unless I missed something, I do not think you're doing ok because you have $25k in loan debt and $4k in credit card debt. Is there more to the story such as mortgage, student loans?...plus you do not sound happy, which is probably related to YOUR (plural) money issue.

      Comment


        #4
        Yes HE pays ME for the loan in my name which is really HIS loan, he just was turned down for it. So he takes money form his bank account and puts it into mine every month. We share nothing financially because he has such terrible money skills. And the $4,000 in credit card debt came over a series of things he realized he needed over the past two months. Well, didn't NEED but wanted.

        You are right. I knew everything before we got married but still went through with everything believing in him that he would watch his spending which of course never happened.

        We rent now, but he wants to buy a house and I find that laughable because what bank in their right mind will lend us money! He has student loan debts. About $10,000 left there and he pays $125/month. Other than that it is JUST the motorcycle loan (which has a low 2.9% APR) and the credit card (which has 6.9%APR)

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Mapper View Post
          We share nothing financially
          Except for a $25,000 motorcycle loan and a $4,000 credit card bill.
          Steve

          * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
          * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
          * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by disneysteve View Post
            Except for a $25,000 motorcycle loan and a $4,000 credit card bill.
            Yes technically that is sharing. However, only in name only. Financially it's all his. And yes I realize there's really no difference except in my mind.

            Comment


              #7
              Unless you plan to leave him, this is your combined retirement, since you will have to live on it together. Even if you do leave, marital assets can be split, depending on local laws and circumstances.

              I don't think that one can be married and live with a spouse without his problems becoming your problems eventually. If you are both in a hot tub, he can't pee on his side of the hot tub only. It just does not work that way.
              Last edited by Nika; 01-30-2013, 04:19 PM.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Nika View Post
                I don't think that one can be married and live with a spouse without his problems becoming your problems eventually. If you are both in a hot tub, he can't pee on his side of the hut tub only. It just does not work that way.
                Is there an emoticon for spitting out your drink? OMG Nika!!

                I am sorry Mapper - just had to comment on that. Frankly, you haven't done half bad given the situation, but impossible to say either without knowing your income, bigger picture, etc. But I think smk says it very well. You will never do as well as you want to do financially, with someone always working against you.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Nika View Post
                  If you are both in a hot tub, he can't pee on his side of the hut tub only. It just does not work that way.
                  best analogy ever!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    In an attempt to answer the original question, I'll set aside your money woes that are tied to your husband. Ignoring the fact that you've taken on a bunch of debt and pretending for a moment that you have no one but yourself to worry about in retirement, I'd say having $127,000 saved at age 41 is fine. I wouldn't call it stellar, but it would put you ahead of a lot of people. Whether or not you'd be on pace for a comfortable retirement would really depend on the lifestyle you expect to lead in retirement and what kind of rate you plan on continuing to save at.

                    Unfortunately, as others here have been pointing out, like it or not, your finances don't exist in a vacuum apart from your husband's. This is especially true since the motorcycle debt is in your name. As long as he isn't working together with you towards shared financial goals, you will have a really hard time with any financial goals you set.

                    I think you should really try to start managing your money together. I wouldn't jump right into combining accounts. But, I would try talking about a unified plan in which you think of your money and your debts as belong to both of you. I imagine that your husband will be resistant to talking to you about these things, but I still recommend trying it. You might try using the idea of getting a house as a reason to start working together. Talk through what would need to change for you to be able to come up with a down payment and then to start making the mortgage payments, and see if you can come up with a plan to make it happen together.

                    I would also recommend using some of the money that you have in your checking/savings accounts to pay off the credit card portion of the motorcycle debt right away. If you keep your current system of separate finances, your husband can keep making payments to you to rebuild your savings. But, there is no good reason to keep carrying that debt. You should be able to temporarily cut your savings by a couple thousand dollars and still have a decent buffer in place.

                    The rest of the motorcycle debt, I would try to handle together. In an ideal world, your husband would come to see that the motorcycle debt is holding you back from buying a home and agree to sell the bike to pay off the loan. But, I'll admit that that is very unlikely. Still, I would try to talk to him about other things the two of you could be doing with your money if there wasn't a motorcycle bill to pay every month. Maybe he'd at least work with you to get it paid off more quickly.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Can you sell the motorcycle (especially since it is under your name)? If your husband refuses, warn him that you will file a stolen police report (I know it's harsh but you got to do what you got to do).

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Mapper View Post
                        My husband has terrible credit and money issues. I always had great credit and plenty of money, but once I met him that all changed. I have had to pay bills for him and since his credit is so bad he couldn't get a 25,000 loan to buy a new motorcycle so I put it in may name. He used my credit card to pay for $4000 worth of stuff FOR the motorcycle. He is paying me the needed amount every month to pay things off but the fact still remains is that I have nearly $30,000 (well about $25,000 now) in loan debt due to him.

                        At age 41 this is what I currently have as monetary assets:

                        $32,000 in checking/savings
                        $30,000 in CDs
                        $65,000 in my IRA

                        This is solely me, in my name. My husband pretty much has zilch except for his paychecks and whatever he has in his 401k. I realize that I never should have let him coerce me into the loan. I freak out because I really only have $27,000 that I can use right now. I can't touch the IRA for about another 20 years and I don't WANT to touch the CDs (besides I can't without a penalty of withdrawal).

                        As far as where I am, am I doing okay regardless of the loan and credit card?
                        You are doing fairly well. Your husband is not doing well at all. Marriage is a partnership where both partners must be on the same page if the partnership is to be successful. It sounds like the two of you need to make that happen.

                        Why did you give your husband $30,000 for a motorcycle? A motorcycle is a complete want. It's not a need. It's certainly something that your husband can't afford and probably doesn't need.
                        Brian

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I would have to say if you are wanting to stay in your marrige then you need to be in control of the finances totally. Give him an allowance and you should be better off in the long term. Be prepared to use some of "your" money to pay his stuff if he is overextended. Its hard to say exactlly without seeing your entire budget. What you and he make. Rent, electric, student loan monthly payments, car payments, ect.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            In terms of how you are doing for your age? I would say it could be a lot better. Im 30 and have more than everything you have saved just in my retirement accounts.

                            It doesnt really matter how much you have saved...with your leech of a husband you'll be working till you die. I wouldnt get hung up on how much you have saved.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Mapper View Post
                              We share nothing financially because he has such terrible money skills.
                              You're married, you share everything financially. Just because you put the blinders on doesn't make it any less true. I think the two of you need counseling and need to come to an agreement. Because he will drive both of you into the poorhouse. A $30k motorcycle (probably a harley) plus 4k in accessories is a horrible purchase for a family with so little in the way of savings.

                              The truth of the matter is that you're both 40 years old and have a combined net worth of around $90k. You are well behind the curve when it comes to savings. You're probably at where a single person in the late 20s early 30s should look to be.
                              Last edited by ~bs; 01-31-2013, 07:49 PM.

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