What can I do?

[sweetlady2k]

Part of my distress is that I have already done so many things to save money that I feel like still aren't fixing it. Like moving to a cheaper house, stop splurging on random lunches, dinners out and bookstore trips lol that was wasting money. I had a car that I paid off a year early then it got totalled. I payed 50% down on my new car to get the payments low and that was crappy since I worked so hard to pay off my car early.

[scfr]

I am willing to cut back with cable ,food and cell if that is possible. I was couponing 2 years ago but moved to a cheaper smaller house and just do not have the space to store food anymore.

Clark Howard's book "Living Large In Lean Times" offers lots of good money-saving tips in specific areas. He has some very good suggestions on cell phone plans that you may want to study up on before you current contract expires. He recommends plans like Straight Talk, MetroPCS, and Virgin Mobile.

I went straight through Clark's book page by page, stopping & taking immediate action each time I found a good suggestion. I found lots of great money-saving advice even tho' I was pretty darn frugal to begin with.

If your local library doesn't have the book, it is available from Half.com in very good condition for $2.25 plus Media Mail.

Good luck building a more financially secure future for yourself and your family.

[sweetlady2k]

OK, so start here! Go ahead and cut back to basic limited and find creative alternatives for entertainment. Do you have a library in your area? Are you utilizing it? At my local library, I can get books & DVDs for 2 weeks at a time. If you have a similar setup, you could have a weekend outing once every 2 weeks with the kids. Let everyone pick out a couple movies and maybe a book or two. The movies may not be the most recent ones, but you can't beat the price (FREE). Add a little popcorn and a beverage, and you have several fun family nights! No sacrifice involved at all.

Where else do you think you could cut back?

I think more along the lines of cutting all movie channels except HBO will be more realistic for us. We watch a few shows regularly on HBO and the rest are not needed. Right now we have them all. So that will still help. The library thing sounds nice but won't happen. My son just watches various cartoon channels and daughter doesn't really watch TV much.

[sweetlady2k]

Clark Howard's book "Living Large In Lean Times" offers lots of good money-saving tips in specific areas. He has some very good suggestions on cell phone plans that you may want to study up on before you current contract expires. He recommends plans like Straight Talk, MetroPCS, and Virgin Mobile.

I went straight through Clark's book page by page, stopping & taking immediate action each time I found a good suggestion. I found lots of great money-saving advice even tho' I was pretty darn frugal to begin with.

If your local library doesn't have the book, it is available from Half.com in very good condition for $2.25 plus Media Mail.

Good luck building a more financially secure future for yourself and your family.

Thanks I will check on the book! We have Verizon and I am planning on getting a much cheaper plan when it expires.

[disneysteve]

Part of my distress is that I have already done so many things to save money that I feel like still aren't fixing it.

It's great that you've already made changes to reduce your spending. Congrats for that. At this point, as we've pointed out, there are still some really big bills that you can work on. If you can knock the cable down from $200 to even $100 and knock the cell phone down from $380 to $200, right there you free up $280/month. Surely that would help a great deal.

And I'm sorry but if your bf earns the same or more than you earn, it definitely doesn't look like he is paying a fair amount for household expenses. His take home should be well over $3,000/month. He's paying you $500 for all of his living expenses: rent, utilities, food, cable, internet. What's he doing with the other $2,500+/month? I think the two of you need to sit down and work out a more equitable arrangement. Show him the numbers and explain that $500/month just doesn't cut it. He isn't paying his fair share of costs.

[scfr]

I think more along the lines of cutting all movie channels except HBO will be more realistic for us. We watch a few shows regularly on HBO and the rest are not needed. Right now we have them all. So that will still help. The library thing sounds nice but won't happen. My son just watches various cartoon channels and daughter doesn't really watch TV much.

Then that's the best plan for your family. The reason it's called "PERSONAL finance" is because we can all personalize it for what works for us.

I am a firm believer that cutting back should be done where it hurts the least. Unless circumstances are dire (and yours aren't), when people try to cut back too much too quickly they get discouraged and give up. I think if you approach one spending category at a time the way you approached the cable category (asking where you can cut back with minimal or no sacrifice), you'll soon have a fully funded EF and will eventually be ready to start thinking about boosting retirement savings.

[sweetlady2k]

It's great that you've already made changes to reduce your spending. Congrats for that. At this point, as we've pointed out, there are still some really big bills that you can work on. If you can knock the cable down from $200 to even $100 and knock the cell phone down from $380 to $200, right there you free up $280/month. Surely that would help a great deal.

And I'm sorry but if your bf earns the same or more than you earn, it definitely doesn't look like he is paying a fair amount for household expenses. His take home should be well over $3,000/month. He's paying you $500 for all of his living expenses: rent, utilities, food, cable, internet. What's he doing with the other $2,500+/month? I think the two of you need to sit down and work out a more equitable arrangement. Show him the numbers and explain that $500/month just doesn't cut it. He isn't paying his fair share of costs.

I have heard numerous responses about not fixing gf or bf financial messes or combining money on here. Just because he makes more does not mean he should be spending more to cover my financial problems. I actually set the original amount based on what he paid at his apartment. It still helps me. I was paying all of it before by myself and the only expense I have seen go up noticeably is food. And not by 500 a month. Maybe 200 a month. He is paying a car payment of over 800 dollers a month he pays over 400 bi monthly to pay it off sooner, in prep for our move. He is also paying off all of his cc debt and saving money for the move. He pays his cell, car insurance and student loans. When we do get married we want to be in a good position financially and buy a house. He shouldn't have to pay more than he did before when he has less room and less privacy just because we are a couple and he earns a little more and is a man.

[sweetlady2k]

And he was dumb and bought the car when he was making close to 100k a year, that was before he moved 2200 miles to be with me. And took a 40k pay cut.

[sweetlady2k]

His car is set to be paid for in June of this year.

[disneysteve]

Just because he makes more does not mean he should be spending more to cover my financial problems.

I'm not suggesting he pay more to cover your financial problems. What I am suggesting is that he pay his own way. Right now, at least as I'm reading the numbers, it looks like you are supporting him.

At his previous apartment, did he really only spend $500/month for rent, utilities, groceries, cable, and internet?

It's great that he is nearing the end of the car loan. However, even if he has an extra $800/month available, if he isn't contributing any of that to the household, it isn't going to help you any.

[sweetlady2k]

I'm not suggesting he pay more to cover your financial problems. What I am suggesting is that he pay his own way. Right now, at least as I'm reading the numbers, it looks like you are supporting him.

At his previous apartment, did he really only spend $500/month for rent, utilities, groceries, cable, and internet?

It's great that he is nearing the end of the car loan. However, even if he has an extra $800/month available, if he isn't contributing any of that to the household, it isn't going to help you any.

When he moved here he lived with our friend who had an house that was 600 a month so he paid half 300 plus about 75 for half the electric and cable and water were included. So 375 plus food. He was intentionally trying to live cheaply to pay off his car and cc. And start saving.The extra 800 a month is going to help me in the long run as I will have money to move it will cost a lot. He has offered to pay more but I know he has less room than he did before so didn't feel right taking more. He is far from a freeloader he transfers me money if I go to buy him soda from the store or 1 thing he transfers 40 dollars before I get there. And does all of my mechanical work on my car and my daughters for free he even buys the parts. I am just proud in guess and not really struggling so don't want to depend too much on a second income.

[sweetlady2k]

I have known for while that the cell phone and cable were out of control so that is where I will start focusing my attention on lowering those costs. I don't want to make my bf feel like he is having to support my kids since he has chosen to not have children himself but maybe I can bring it up and ask him to up the amount he pays. I do know that eventually our finances will be more combined as we plan on moving out of state together and have talked about buying a house and things but I still feel like our finances are very separate at this time. Would I need to open another account to use as an EF ? Thanks for all of your insight!

[minnie1928]

You mentioned that your daughter will be added to your insurance policy if a few months. Will she be working somewhere to pay for the insurance? Teenagers are C R A Z Y expensive to insure, unless there's a really good reason for her to get a license I'd put that off a while if possible. Or, make sure that she has the means to pay for it herself.

I know your phone contracts are coming up in a few months with Verizon, but in the meantime can you scale back the plan? We have Verizon - 3 smart phones, unlimited texting for $210/mth. Are you paying insurance on the phones? Drop it. Really look at your bill. When we renewed the Verizon store rep actually showed us plans that were cheaper than what we were currently paying.

[sweetlady2k]

You mentioned that your daughter will be added to your insurance policy if a few months. Will she be working somewhere to pay for the insurance? Teenagers are C R A Z Y expensive to insure, unless there's a really good reason for her to get a license I'd put that off a while if possible. Or, make sure that she has the means to pay for it herself.

I know your phone contracts are coming up in a few months with Verizon, but in the meantime can you scale back the plan? We have Verizon - 3 smart phones, unlimited texting for $210/mth. Are you paying insurance on the phones? Drop it. Really look at your bill. When we renewed the Verizon store rep actually showed us plans that were cheaper than what we were currently paying.

Right now I am not paying insurance, my ex husband took that bill when we split up and I took the cell phone bill at that time our payments fo both were just over 200. We had 3 phone with unlimited text but had a shared talk plan and no data plan because we didn't have smarphones at the time. After I added my sister because she was watching my kids and driving them to school in exchange for room and board. Later after that was no longer nessesary because I moved to a house rright by the schools and my daughter was old enough to get her little brother ready for school and walk him. I am not charging my daughter insuance because she will be responsible for driving her brother to his before school program and picking him up from school. She also has to be available on any days school is not in session to watch him like winter break. I didn't want her to get a job because of this. She's vey responsible and is in a college credit program at school but wanted to get a job. I finally told he she can get one on weekends when he's at his dads but she wont be paying the car costs. She does have to save hallf of what she makes. She's worked watching he brother and my brothers kids for 4 years and has around 3k in the bank.

[sweetlady2k]

I also decided a long time ago not to fund college for the kids. My ex had his college paid for by his father and after 2 or 3 years had only managed to accumulate 20 credits. I got student loans for mine and had 70 credits after 2 years. I think it depends on the child but those that are responsible enough to diligently get their degree can put their way through school. I did say that my daughter can live with us while in college after high school as long as she is making good grades and until she gets her job after college and is financially stable, that is how I will help her with college. She knows this is a great opporunity for her to start her adult life without a major struggle and she is responsible enough not to take advantage. Now my son who is 8 is another story, he's the wild one so who knows what he will end up doing. I have always stressed the differences in earnings without a degree to them but college is not for everyone.
the major thing on the cell phone plan I can change is the talk minutes. Right now its a bundle price so I am not sure but I will discuss it with someone at verizon.
Because I budgeted 600 per week as my pay but in actuality make more usually I plan on putting any overages into my emergency fund. I also will try to figure out a fair number for my bf to pay but I still don't think it should be half based on what the kids use. Maybe 1/3 or 1/4 of each of the bills not cell or car payment. I think its close to what he's paying now anyway though. What do you all think is fair? I think its probably 1/3 split between me the ex and him?