Major financial and lifestyle decision

[kaleida]

Are there risk-free alternatives that would satisfy whatever it is that your husband hopes to accomplish? For example, if he simply wants to do more hands on physical labor while he is still young, could he be satisfied by continuing to do the same paid work but volunteering doing something like building houses with Habitat for Humanity one or two weekends a month?

+1 to this. Let him come up with a few other options that don't involve spending your money

[smk]

Thanks all for the comments and perspectives, and particularly how non-judgmental people are on this forum. This has been a really helpful exercise for me.

It seems that we have gotten very sloppy with our spending, and there is a lot of waste and room for saving. So, that's the good news. We clearly need to stay on top of our numbers much better than we have to date. Maybe we will also lose some weight if we stop eating and drinking so well!

I'm still not sure exactly how we are going to handle finding a way for my husband to get into the kind of farming/ranching lifestyle he wants - while he's still young enough to get started, and in a place where I can continue working at my job - but I am now convinced that I want to find a different way than a super-expensive property.

Thanks again.

Hi Anne,

I actually think you came looking for answers in the wrong place. People with training in finance actually don't have any training in life. You really need to find someone who can patch in the importance of the lifestyle decision with a program design that has real rigor. You can try this web site to find someone trained in finance who has also gone through training in the lifestyle aspect: Kinder Institute of Life Planning, Financial planning done right!

Just looking at the numbers here without a thorough lifestyle impact will not help you very much. Best of luck.

[Gailete]

I actually think you came looking for answers in the wrong place. People with training in finance actually don't have any training in life. You really need to find someone who can patch in the importance of the lifestyle decision with a program design that has real rigor. You can try this web site to find someone trained in finance who has also gone through training in the lifestyle aspect: Kinder Institute of Life Planning, Financial planning done right!

Just looking at the numbers here without a thorough lifestyle impact will not help you very much. Best of luck.

Steve, you comment sounds a bit self-serving since it is a promotion your your website! We here are not people trained in finances, but for the most part we are people living life that have taught ourselves how to handle finances and get what we want out of life. I am in awe of some of the posters here who have stuck their noses to the grindstone and set their goals and they are accomplishing them and living the lifestyle they want. The original poster has obviously found the advice she as received here to be very appropriate by her own words of thanks.

[smk]

Steve, you comment sounds a bit self-serving since it is a promotion your your website! We here are not people trained in finances, but for the most part we are people living life that have taught ourselves how to handle finances and get what we want out of life. I am in awe of some of the posters here who have stuck their noses to the grindstone and set their goals and they are accomplishing them and living the lifestyle they want. The original poster has obviously found the advice she as received here to be very appropriate by her own words of thanks.

you figured out how to handle finances through living life, but there is specific training on how to live life in this context you don't even know about. it may be courageous to give advice when you have little or no knowledge of the subject, but will that really help anyone? if there is a body of knowledge you do not have, don't you think it would be better to learn about it instead?

with regard to my comment being self serving, you may note that my signature has my web site. you may also note the web site i recommended is not my web site. if you looked at both web sites you would note there is no affiliation whatsoever. in point of fact, i recommended her to a competitor. the reason i did this is because there is a specific discipline they use which could be directly helpful to the op and they should find out about it. please do a little more reseach before you start throwing out accusations...

[Gailete]

there is specific training on how to live life in this context you don't even know about. it may be courageous to give advice when you have little or no knowledge of the subject, but will that really help anyone? if there is a body of knowledge you do not have, don't you think it would be better to learn about it instead?

I think you missed the basics of what I was trying to say. In your first post you told the original poster that she had come to the wrong place

I actually think you came looking for answers in the wrong place. People with training in finance actually don't have any training in life.

Basically assuming that the other posters who were offering advice were only trained in finance not in living life. Most of the posters here are not trained financial advisors in the first place anyhow, but people that have set their life goals, including their finances, and have stuck to them to achieve those life goals.

How do you know how much knowledge any of us have on setting life goals+financial goals? You don't. Most of us have training in life though. We live it everyday. It is obvious as you read other posts in these forums that many have set goals so that they would accomplish their dreams and they are actively doing so. You have no clue what I know or don't know about things and it is very courageous of you to assume that you know I don't know something. I set my life goals close to 40 years ago, although unfortunately life at times gets in the way as no one would set a life goal of getting a painful, long term, chronic disease that affects every facet of their life.

[smk]

I think you missed the basics of what I was trying to say. In your first post you told the original poster that she had come to the wrong place Basically assuming that the other posters who were offering advice were only trained in finance not in living life. Most of the posters here are not trained financial advisors in the first place anyhow, but people that have set their life goals, including their finances, and have stuck to them to achieve those life goals.

How do you know how much knowledge any of us have on setting life goals+financial goals? You don't. Most of us have training in life though. We live it everyday. It is obvious as you read other posts in these forums that many have set goals so that they would accomplish their dreams and they are actively doing so. You have no clue what I know or don't know about things and it is very courageous of you to assume that you know I don't know something. I set my life goals close to 40 years ago, although unfortunately life at times gets in the way as no one would set a life goal of getting a painful, long term, chronic disease that affects every facet of their life.

first you accuse me of doing something that i did not do, and now you don't appologize.

instead you argue that life experience in general and trying to fiddle with your finances is every bit as good as rigorous training in finance and simultaneously training in modalities similar to psychology in order to meld the financial decision with the life decision. ok...good luck with that...

who was it who said "for the body to be ill is not preferred, but it is ok. for the mind to be ill (regarding the illness of the body), that is a problem..."

[rxtrom]

I think the scenario you have presented Anne is somewhat complex and I do not think we will be able to give you all the answers. We certainly will be able to and have suggested several ideas and offered criticism about your budge but that will not answer your question or help your husband fulfill his dream.

My suggestion is to talk it through between yourselves and then possibly a counselor as previously mentioned. A good counselor will also be able to shed light on the financial aspect as well as the real reason your husband wants to do something he has no experience in and put his family's financial future up against it.

Men are wired a certain way, provide for, care and defend their families. You make over 4x his salary and that probably comes at a cost. A cost of time or a cost of him feeling inferior or less of a man. Some important aspects of life can suffer a slow fade where an idea or a relationship if left unmaintained will regress. Most questions posted on this forum are about their "slow fade" of finances. Yours was posed asking if you should finance your husbands dream. Your financial picture while somewhat inflated above the norm is "ok" I give it a B-. You will survive going down this current road until retirement and beyond not investing in your husband's dream though. For that I think you need the help of a counselor...

These people and forum are a great resource and there has been some good information provided already. Some people are suggesting getting everything in order so if this dream fails you will still be ok. That is an option but why prepare for failure when you might be able to just prevent it. There is an underlying reason on why he wants a farm what is it?

Sorry to get so deep. Happy New year btw.