Adult Stipend - How is this set up

[shemaur]

Hello
This is an awesome website!

My father may be coming into a large sum of money. He wants to split it with his children. however, my younger brother (age 36) is not responsible with money at all! My Dad gave him $28k last August from the sale of our family home and it was gone in about two weeks (no exageration) He borrows from everyone so when he gets money he has to pay everyone back (he also had to play catch up on his rent and child support) We've all stopped lending him money because none of us can afford the loss any more. Neither he nor his wife work (they have been looking) and they have 5 children and a small dog!

Anyway, my dad would like to set up monthly stipends for him so that he does not blow the entire thing in one month. Can this be done without my dad having to physically send him money monthly? Is there a way a certain amount can be automatically sent to my brother monthly? Is this a free service? If not, how high are the costs?

Thank you for any advice you can provide.

Sheila

[breathemusic]

If your father really wants to be able to share some of the family money with him, but wants to make sure that it doesn't get wasted, why send cash? Couldn't he possibly pay their rent monthly? Or send gift cards for food or clothing or something like that?

If he really does just want to send money, I'm sure there's a way to just do a money tranfer through his bank account, or if he does any banking online, you can usually set up a monthly check (that's how I pay my landlord) that is sent at the same time every month.

[shemaur]

I think he wants to have to do the least possible so he does not mess anything up. He has prostate cancer and his wife has pancreatic cancer so they are going through a lot. However, he wanted to make sure my brother had a steady influx of cash. Paying his rent sounds good but I like the idea of setting it up to pay monthly even better. The only thing is, what happens if and when he passes? If there was some sort of trust set up for my brother the payments would continue, which is kind of what he wants...but I am not familiar with trusts.

Thanks so much for your advice!

[Gailete]

I don't have any advice, but am sitting here shaking my head wondering about why a dad would want to hand over even more money to a son that appears (from your posts) to be a lazy bum that can't handle money in the first place. I'm afraid I would be rather harsh, such as finding out how much he owed other family members and paying them back prior to giving the son anything. If there is anything left after that and he still wants to help this guy to continue to not take care of responsiblities, he could probably set up an annuity that would pay him a set amount every month. I just see this as a way to continue to help this man not take care of responsiblities. If he blew 28K in two days what would a monthly stipend do for him? If your dad really wants to help someone out there are so many needy families that would see this money as a blessing (I know I would have). It is hard to hear about things like this when I know how my husband and I struggle each month due to bad health and we could have lived nicely on 28K for an entire year. I can't even comprehend situations like this. Sorry.

There is an old fashioned name for guys like your brother and that is a wastrel. If your dad gives him even a penny, he is just prepetrating the problem.