Am I on the right track? Need advice or reassurance

[anxious123]

Hello Everyone!

I am glad to have found this forum. Everyone seems to be helpful and positive.

I need some advice or reassurance with my current personal finance situation. I am a 29 year-old Occupational Therapist living in NY. I was sponsored for a working visa 3 years ago and I signed up for a salary of 47K/year. Now I am earning around 55K, which is pretty low for my profession. It just sucks how these companies take advantage of foreigners like me. Anyway, once I finish the contract with the agency, I learned that I can earn as twice the current amount I am making, which helps me feel hopeful. I am just very very anxious of my potential to save and enjoy life better. I am quite miserable that I cant save the way I dreamed it to be. I seem to be doing something wrong somewhere that I cant just get into a better financial state compared to my peers. Is it just me and my wrongful comparisons? Or I am okay?
My current finance situation is as follows:
Rent- 1000K/month for a 1 bedroom
Credit card Debt of 4000$- I accumulated this debt due to social obligations: gifts, presents, etc. I pay various amounts per month from 50-200 USD.
Savings of 10K- I try to put in 500/ month but end up taking some or bits of it
SIMPLE IRA 6800- I put in 230/month
Support for my parents- 600/month or some occasions a little more than that
Phone bill 69

Ok, I know many will probably point out on the 600/month for my parents. But I do support my parents who are in Asia, and bulk of the money goes to my father's medical needs. I was brought up in a culture that your parents are somehow part of your obligation-- and maybe just worse in my case because we are not affluent and my parents dont have jobs. It is miserable I know, I know, but what can I do. At first, I was not once bitter but since being surrounded by kids who grew up with parents who showered them and never asked for anything in return---i felt bitter and remorseful. But most of all guilty of feeling this way to my parents and how they affect my current financial situation.

I am getting married next year, trying to save at least 10K, without having to touch my current savings. My fiance has better going on, he lately put 20K on a condominium back in our country( where real estate goes up only so far), to be rented out., and about 10K on stocks. We are also planning to buy a house by 2014-2015, maybe a 1-bedroom but havent started really saving for it.

I am just very very worried that I will never be in a financially fit position considering all of these going on in my life. I am quite frugal. I only spend on food, clothing only if I really need it, and never really on entertainment. Should I pay off the 4k from my savings? or should I make a budget to pay it off by say May? Please I need some advice and reassurance, anything will be helpful. Thank you.

[Mr Tipps]

hello anxious123.

Firstly I always feel touched when I hear people are helping out their parents. Well done and I know that you will feel extremely proud to be able to help them!

In relation to your credit card debt and 10k in savings, all I can say is GET RID of your credit card debt!!! I am assuming you are probably paying around 17% interest, when you are probably not even earning 4% in your savings! I know it probably feels good to know that you have saved 10k, but you are costing yourself thousands by paying interest on your credit card!!

The beauty of the credit card is that you can always use it again later in an emergency! It won't take you long to build up your savings again once you have paid off your credit card!

In relation to everything else just hang in there and I am sure it will all work out. Just remember to spend less than you earn and you will slowly build up your savings!

Good luck with your new job hunting as well!!

[bjl584]

My initial advice without knowing more about your situation would be to stop contributing to your savings account and use that money to pay off the credit cards. $500 a month on $4000 in cc debt pays off the cards in 8 months. Less because you already pay some amount toward them.

[anna_chronistic]

I think it's fantastic that you are helping support your parents, and I hope the feeling of resentment you have about it is short-lived, because it really is an admirable and good thing to be doing. Of course, I'm making the assumption that your parents did their best to raise you well (and the fact that others were "showered" with material things by their parents does not mean those were "better" parents than the ones who can't afford to do so for their children) and are not jobless out of laziness. I mean, you are helping support them, not enabling bad behavior on their part, correct?

Someone else mentioned a budget, which would be helpful, but based on what you've posted, I'm more concerned about the $4,000 "for social obligations" than anything else. I agree with what a PP said -- pay off the CC as soon as possible and then budget for gifts/entertainment. Or, curtail the gift-giving until you can afford it without going into debt. There may be more to the story, but $4,000 debt for social obligations put up a red flag for me...

[snafu]

I'm most concerned about your immigration status. If you leave your 'sponsored' job or the contract expires, what is your status? Is your fiance an American citizen? Can he sponsor you as an immigrant? What is the process, what is the timeline?

The internet allows people to look at job postings, qualifications, duties and salary range all over the world. The salaries for people with your qualifications and experience will be different depending on where in the USA you seek employment. NYC happens to be an extremely high cost of living city.

Good on you for taking your responsibility for your parents as is typical in your culture. Financially it's important to be aware of interest rates and track how much interest has cost you for using a credit card.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I have I friend who was in a similar situation. The obligation to gifts was different for her in one major way. If she travelled back "home" it was expected that she bring gifts. Some of them should be expensive, too. She and her husband, partly for that reason, did not travel home for years. (Also because it would scramble their visa status.) Over the years not going home allowed them to save much money in gifts and airfares.

She, too, was sending money to her parents, enough for them to buy an apartment. On Skype and from some still photos I began to notice that her parents' new home seemed nicer than her own. In fact, her parents' home was all paid for, while she, her husband, and child were renting a one bedroom apartment in a rough part of town, and they were each working full time and one getting a further degree.

One year her parents came to visit her in the U.S. Her father was so surprised to see how much she was sacrificing while she had still been sending home the same amount of money even after the parents' home was paid for. He was also surprised to see how expensive things were here (like child care, doctors, food, transportation, mechanics, eyeglasses, shoes, rent). He told her to stop sending money home! Of course, both her parents were retired teachers who had been able to save all their working lives, and they had some pension. So they might have been in a more secure position than your parents even without their daughter's help.

The expectation family and friends back home had were a little bit out of sync with the reality of living in the U.S.

However, I found out my friend and her spouse needed to adjust their own ideas about giving gifts here in this country. For example, when my son was ready to go to college, she gave him such a big gift that I was embarrassed. And she was trying to figure out what kind of expensive gift to give her and her husband's bosses for Christmas. Her husband in particular could have been in a difficult position if he tried to give his boss an expensive gift. It just was not appropriate. I had to explain to her that it was far more likely ~and customary~ that the companies would be giving them (my friends) a bonus in December, rather than them being obliged to spend a half month's salary on the boss!

I mention all that just in case you need to consult with someone who has been in the US long enough to know more about gift giving here. Or perhaps you have an American born friend who you could ask. Presents are wonderful to give and receive, but no one should feel obligated to damage their own finances for presents, in my opinion.

Oh, and when you combine finances with your husband-to-be, perhaps the two of you will be able to save a little more and pay off any debt a little more quickly.

[photo]

The obligation to gifts was different for her in one major way. If she travelled back "home" it was expected that she bring gifts. Some of them should be expensive, too. She and her husband, partly for that reason, did not travel home for years. (Also because it would scramble their visa status.) Over the years not going home allowed them to save much money in gifts and airfares.

I've experienced this, as well, with visitors from other countries. It's a very uncomfortable feeling knowing that the person really spent more than he could afford. Different expectations among various cultures causes a lot of awkward and uncomfortable moments.

[anna_chronistic]

I've experienced this, as well, with visitors from other countries. It's a very uncomfortable feeling knowing that the person really spent more than he could afford. Different expectations among various cultures causes a lot of awkward and uncomfortable moments.

I hadn't even thought about that -- thank you for the insight. It's not that I'd never heard of such cultural expectations before, I just wasn't thinking in more broad-based terms when I posted previously. That would be tough, though. A PP mentioned a friend not being able to visit family partly because of the expensive-gift obligation. That must be difficult -- choose among: visiting family and going into debt; visiting and not giving "appropriate" gifts and thus causing offense; or not visiting family. If that's the case for the OP re: the social obligation debt, it casts a bit of a new light on it...

[anxious123]

hello anxious123.

Firstly I always feel touched when I hear people are helping out their parents. Well done and I know that you will feel extremely proud to be able to help them!

In relation to your credit card debt and 10k in savings, all I can say is GET RID of your credit card debt!!! I am assuming you are probably paying around 17% interest, when you are probably not even earning 4% in your savings! I know it probably feels good to know that you have saved 10k, but you are costing yourself thousands by paying interest on your credit card!!

The beauty of the credit card is that you can always use it again later in an emergency! It won't take you long to build up your savings again once you have paid off your credit card!

In relation to everything else just hang in there and I am sure it will all work out. Just remember to spend less than you earn and you will slowly build up your savings!

Good luck with your new job hunting as well!!

THANKS for the suggestion and I just paid off the debt. Now I am trying to build on the EF again. Hopefully by April I can start saving for the wedding.

[anxious123]

I think it's fantastic that you are helping support your parents, and I hope the feeling of resentment you have about it is short-lived, because it really is an admirable and good thing to be doing. Of course, I'm making the assumption that your parents did their best to raise you well (and the fact that others were "showered" with material things by their parents does not mean those were "better" parents than the ones who can't afford to do so for their children) and are not jobless out of laziness. I mean, you are helping support them, not enabling bad behavior on their part, correct?

Someone else mentioned a budget, which would be helpful, but based on what you've posted, I'm more concerned about the $4,000 "for social obligations" than anything else. I agree with what a PP said -- pay off the CC as soon as possible and then budget for gifts/entertainment. Or, curtail the gift-giving until you can afford it without going into debt. There may be more to the story, but $4,000 debt for social obligations put up a red flag for me...

Thanks for the kind words, and I just paid off the cc debt. whew! Yes, there's more to that social obligation thingy. But I am currently evaluating my values on that and hopefully would find a way to reduce expenses on that part. So far, it has been 0 activity on that. LOL.

[anxious123]

I'm most concerned about your immigration status. If you leave your 'sponsored' job or the contract expires, what is your status? Is your fiance an American citizen? Can he sponsor you as an immigrant? What is the process, what is the timeline?

The internet allows people to look at job postings, qualifications, duties and salary range all over the world. The salaries for people with your qualifications and experience will be different depending on where in the USA you seek employment. NYC happens to be an extremely high cost of living city.

Good on you for taking your responsibility for your parents as is typical in your culture. Financially it's important to be aware of interest rates and track how much interest has cost you for using a credit card.

Thanks for your concern, I have my greencard already, it's just that I have stick with my current employer based on the agreement I signed with them. They ask for a hefty amount if you break the agreement and that I will have to discuss with a lawyer if this is reasonable, etc. if I decide to leave. Yeah I signed up with them with 3 years ago with little concern with the salary. I wish I had better knowledge and had been more aggressive with negotiating terms that time, but it has been said and done and I guess I am moving on.

[anxious123]

I have I friend who was in a similar situation. The obligation to gifts was different for her in one major way. If she travelled back "home" it was expected that she bring gifts. Some of them should be expensive, too. She and her husband, partly for that reason, did not travel home for years. (Also because it would scramble their visa status.) Over the years not going home allowed them to save much money in gifts and airfares.

She, too, was sending money to her parents, enough for them to buy an apartment. On Skype and from some still photos I began to notice that her parents' new home seemed nicer than her own. In fact, her parents' home was all paid for, while she, her husband, and child were renting a one bedroom apartment in a rough part of town, and they were each working full time and one getting a further degree.

One year her parents came to visit her in the U.S. Her father was so surprised to see how much she was sacrificing while she had still been sending home the same amount of money even after the parents' home was paid for. He was also surprised to see how expensive things were here (like child care, doctors, food, transportation, mechanics, eyeglasses, shoes, rent). He told her to stop sending money home! Of course, both her parents were retired teachers who had been able to save all their working lives, and they had some pension. So they might have been in a more secure position than your parents even without their daughter's help.

The expectation family and friends back home had were a little bit out of sync with the reality of living in the U.S.

However, I found out my friend and her spouse needed to adjust their own ideas about giving gifts here in this country. For example, when my son was ready to go to college, she gave him such a big gift that I was embarrassed. And she was trying to figure out what kind of expensive gift to give her and her husband's bosses for Christmas. Her husband in particular could have been in a difficult position if he tried to give his boss an expensive gift. It just was not appropriate. I had to explain to her that it was far more likely ~and customary~ that the companies would be giving them (my friends) a bonus in December, rather than them being obliged to spend a half month's salary on the boss!

I mention all that just in case you need to consult with someone who has been in the US long enough to know more about gift giving here. Or perhaps you have an American born friend who you could ask. Presents are wonderful to give and receive, but no one should feel obligated to damage their own finances for presents, in my opinion.

Oh, and when you combine finances with your husband-to-be, perhaps the two of you will be able to save a little more and pay off any debt a little more quickly.

The story you shared is very very common thing that is happening with people, such as in my culture who migrate to America. I definitely dont have the worse situation but I highly applaud people who are able to make such huge sacrifices without having to be bitter and resentful.
I just have been opening more to my American-born friends and found helpful ways as you mentioned above about gift giving. I realize it's a different world now I am living in. when in rome, live as romans do i guess...