Getting married how to save?

**bjl584** · 05-25-2011, 07:18 AM

Originally posted by skives View Post

I'm getting married in September of 2012 and right now I have two student loans I am paying on.

Federal Loan- $35,000 and change

Private Loan- $10,100

I have $3,500 in savings and my fiance is saving up to pay for the wedding with a second part-time job. Currently she has I think a little under $2,000 saved up. I am going to be responsible for the honeymoon expenses. What can/should we do to spend as little as possible on the wedding and honeymoon?

Should we not take a honeymoon?

The part of this post that stuck out for me is when you said you "THINK" she has around $2000 saved. I argue that when you get married there is no more his money and her money. It is only our money. Also, you both need to be on the same page financially. That means full disclosure of each others' finances and sitting down with each other and creating a budget for your new lives together. Only after doing that will you both know whether or not you have the money for a honeymoon at this time.

**skives** · 05-25-2011, 07:36 AM

i've seen the amount she has. I just don't remember the exact amount but I know it is just under $2,000

**bjl584** · 05-25-2011, 07:54 AM

Originally posted by skives View Post

i've seen the amount she has. I just don't remember the exact amount but I know it is just under $2,000

OK. What is your current living situation? Do you live together already? Are there plans for a house? Children?

Those factors will need to be discussed and budgeted for. If you already have a budget in place and are currently saving for the things that you will need/want going forward, then go on your honeymoon. If not, then you may want to forego the honeymoon and concentrate on getting your finances in order. If a full honeymoon isn't an option, then maybe taking a less expensive trip to somewhere could be an option. A honeymoon doesn't have to cost thousands to be fun or memorable. Maybe a long weekend getaway to a lake, state park, ski resort, etc. could be an option.

**couchrobt** · 05-25-2011, 08:15 AM

I do not mind sharing savings for the big day, but I think it is okay to save separately and then spend them accordingly. Just so the man can get the things he wanted for his future wife without her worrying about the price!

**disneysteve** · 05-25-2011, 09:40 AM

Neither a wedding nor a honeymoon needs to be expensive. You can spend as much or as little as you'd like. Under no circumstances should you spend more than you have - NO DEBT for the event.

Is there any outside help here from parents or other family or are you guys totally on your own?

Does she have any of her own debt?

**tripods68** · 05-25-2011, 09:49 AM

Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

Neither a wedding nor a honeymoon needs to be expensive. You can spend as much or as little as you'd like. Under no circumstances should you spend more than you have - NO DEBT for the event.

Is there any outside help here from parents or other family or are you guys totally on your own?

Does she have any of her own debt?

Exactly! My brother-in-law got married (CIVIL wedding) two weeks ago and paid $55 plus license at County. Their most expensive items were the food $200 served inside their apartment afterwards

**Joan.of.the.Arch** · 05-25-2011, 10:19 AM

Consider having just a civil ceremony-- justice of the peace or judge. That's also a great option if you dislike the fuss, planning, and on-stage-iness of a wedding followed by a party.

A honeymoon can be very inexpensive if you enjoy inexpensive travel and accommodations. For us it was motorcycling off to a canoeing-camping trip.

**kork13** · 05-28-2011, 09:57 AM

If you're both of the outdoors persuasion, inexpensive options abound. I'd personally recommend picking your favorite national park, then go camping, hiking, kayaking, and whatever else is available for a week or so.

**Gary Barzel** · 08-23-2011, 07:35 AM

You should sign up for a free personal financial management service, such as mint, or mvelope to help you with budgeting, reducing debt, tracking investments and finding savings. Budgeting is hard but having to budget your finances while having a spouse just gets harder.

**jasminhatcher** · 08-29-2011, 01:49 AM

Maybe you can put the honeymoon off for later, at a time when you may need it more and are financially stable. Right now, just being married and together will be a honeymoon thanks to the newness and excitement.

**Eric80** · 08-29-2011, 03:38 AM

You still have a year or so, you both need to sit down and figure out; how much will the wedding you want cost? After that you know how much you have saved up till now. Then you need to trim your spending and become more frugal, budget and hopefully you will achieve you goals for saving for a wedding and honeymoon.

**photo** · 08-29-2011, 09:28 AM

My advice is to not read the wedding planning guides (with the exception that one may be written with genuine frugality in mind), which are notorious for seducing the bride with promises of fairytales that will cost you and arm and a leg and ultimately won't make a difference in your lives.

A wedding should be about spending time with the people who are closest to you. It would be nice to have all the luxurious extras, but if they aren't in your budget, then those extras will ultimately bring more pain than pleasure.

**Frugal** · 08-31-2011, 05:56 PM

My advice...honeymoons are optional. I have mixed feelings about saying that. We spent total around $1,500. It was only just last fall. We took it the four-five days after getting married...I think only four days total. Here's the thing...WEDDINGs are expensive. Honeymoons, more so. My parents only could give us $1,500 for a wedding, so we had the simplest wedding imaginable. We were in the process of other expensive financial things like buying a house, so we could not use our savings towards the wedding. The $1,500 all went on credit cards, and while we paid it off within 2 months or so, I am still not comfortable that we technically could not afford it, and had to put it on CCs (I NEVER use credit cards myself in my personal life!). The reason we had a honeymoon was my parents never had one, and I heard my whole life how they regretted not having anything.

Instead of getting a "bargain" at a fancy hotel of my dreams, I would have us go on a 2-3 day MAX short drive to the next state, and maybe at most stay at a cheap hotel. You could possibly even stay with friends out of town, and go around and explore the sites.

You don't have to go out of state or out of town to do a fancy honeymoon. We only drove 2 hours away...ha! Not like the fancy honeymoons our wealthier friends had in Hawaii, etc. However, we still have a lot of great memories. Our friends who were even worse off financially never took honeymoons, or delayed them by one year (my friend who got married last year). I think it might be smart to do like they did, and save up for a nice cruise, when one can't afford it at the moment.

So I guess I am trying to say...yes, memories are important, but in my opinion, it is ALWAYS a good idea to not start out married life carrying a credit card balance to pay for a wedding or honeymoon. If you end up buying a house, it might put a serious crimp on finances in the first year of marriage.

p.s. Take my advice...$2,000 will go VERY fast...it may sound like a lot for a wedding, but I did things as cheaply as possible on even less than that, and it was extremely difficult to stretch the pennies and nickels enough to have even the most basic wedding possible. If you have student loans (I did, too!) they can be a real pain when you are paying off a wedding later.

**Frugal** · 09-01-2011, 10:16 AM

Some more ideas on saving on a wedding:

1) We had a rehearsal casual dinner/walk-through rehearsal at my parents' home several nights before the wedding, instead of renting the facility for more time to just do the rehearsal.]
2) After comparing prices, we went with a Costco cake instead of a much more expensive, custom-made one at a wedding bakery. They also were very picky about what they required at the more custom bakeries...did not have the best response there.
3) We did use a catering company for dinner/appetizers, but went with one that was not as expensive as the other ones in town. Called around and got quotes.
4) Did not hire a D.J. The facility did not have room for dancing, anyway.
5) Hooked up IPODs and phones to speakers in room to broadcast music. Also, ran music from an Apple laptop with a playlist ready to go.
6) Rented a room at a community center. Hate to say this, but it was MUCH cheaper than a church, and the churches, wineries, etc. in town were mostly booked. I think we paid $600 total for the room, and they refunded deposits later, so total maybe $550-500 out of pocket.
7) Bought my wedding dress for $99 on the back, hidden sales rack at David's Bridal. The real story is, I was prepared to pay up to $500-$750, but my sister hunted and found the perfect-fit dress for me that was only $99.

Hope that helps. There are many ways to save, more than even this, but I don't have time to list them all..

Getting married how to save?