Sell the gas pig, and buy a "used" car. Get one a few years old that's got low mileage.
By the way, the warranty won't do you much good if you are truly as useless at maintaining a car as your post implies. I'm pretty sure if you've never done an oil change or followed the maintenance schedule they will find a way to void your warranty.
I know nothing about cars either. Here's all I do - change the oil every 5,000km (about 3,000 miles if you're American). When it's in for that, they'll normally do a bit of an inspection for me to see if anything's wrong. If the engine light comes on, I take it in. My ABS and Traction Control lights were on just last month. I took it in, and now $700 later it has a new electric thingamajig - and the lights are off, so it's cool. Also, when I was in they told me my front brakes are down to 20%, so I'll want to replace the pads in the next few months. Easy. I'm going to wait for the squeeking sound that the brakes make when it's time to change before I do it though. That sound is just a little piece of wire that the put on them to let you know when the pads reach a certain thickness - it isn't dangerous or anything. You need to change them within a few weeks once they start to make the noise (although I would be in as soon as possible to change them since the sound would drive me crazy).
If I can manage to maintain a car with no mechanical knowledge, just regular oil changes and a check-up once in a while - anyone can.
By the way, the warranty won't do you much good if you are truly as useless at maintaining a car as your post implies. I'm pretty sure if you've never done an oil change or followed the maintenance schedule they will find a way to void your warranty.
I know nothing about cars either. Here's all I do - change the oil every 5,000km (about 3,000 miles if you're American). When it's in for that, they'll normally do a bit of an inspection for me to see if anything's wrong. If the engine light comes on, I take it in. My ABS and Traction Control lights were on just last month. I took it in, and now $700 later it has a new electric thingamajig - and the lights are off, so it's cool. Also, when I was in they told me my front brakes are down to 20%, so I'll want to replace the pads in the next few months. Easy. I'm going to wait for the squeeking sound that the brakes make when it's time to change before I do it though. That sound is just a little piece of wire that the put on them to let you know when the pads reach a certain thickness - it isn't dangerous or anything. You need to change them within a few weeks once they start to make the noise (although I would be in as soon as possible to change them since the sound would drive me crazy).
If I can manage to maintain a car with no mechanical knowledge, just regular oil changes and a check-up once in a while - anyone can.

(she can't get over their awful looks), but it's something I would seriously consider for a little run around town car.
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