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I read your reply on another thread, so I may be reacting in part to what you also said there. If your daughter has ongoing medical problems, I think you need to find a way to buy into some insurance, at least for her even if for no one else in the family. Your state might offer something. Medicaid might be a possibility even with your middle class income since she has already accrued bills that seem to be beyond your ability to pay. Have you met with a medical social worker at a hospital? They really can help you figure out what your options might be.
Especially if you decide against scrimping further to get insurance, I would at least scrimp further to run more money through your HSA. You are taking money from elsewhere to pay medical expenses, so you might as well get the tax advantage by running it through the HSA.
I'm wondering if you also have child care expenses that you are forgetting in your expense report above. Anyhow, if the two of you do pick up extra jobs, mightn't it cost you something in childcare? Don't forget to figure that in.
Do you happen to know anyone who makes less money than you and lives in your city? Where do they live? Would they have knowledge of less expensive apartments? If you could let people know, perhaps they would let you know when they see something decent open up.
Are both or one of your kids on formula or have an expensive medical diet? If not, I suspect you really could move some money out of the food category and into the more pressed categories like the HSA, the student loans, the credit cards, or even the house savings.
To me, that $200 a month electricity does not sound bad, as I surely have paid that much between my gas and electric bills combined last month. ($170 gas, $36 electric).
Towards being happier with your living space---how many square feet do you have? When you are ready to begin moving the kids to their own space, do you have a corner in another part of the apartment where they can have a bed? They don't need to have an entire room dedicated just to their own bed, clothes, and toys. Their possessions can remain wherever you have them now....I knew someone who bought a little play tent for her son and played with him in it set up in her living room. Then she began taking naps in it with him so that it would seem like a cozy, restful place for him. Then she began putting him to bed for the night there as it seemed like his own place, a cozy, and happy spot. No more kiddie in Mom & Dad's bedroom after that....A child I tutor has a pallet just in full view in their living room. That's where I tutor her, too. I know this is a family who is very frugal and always scrimping, but doing so in a way that seems really emotionally secure and dignified, despite the fact that their girl sleeps in the living room.
I do sympathize. Though I only have one child, we lived in two different 1 bedroom apartments before we bought a house. In the first he slept in our BR until he was 3 when we moved to a still 1 BR, but slightly roomier apartment. In the second place, he had a fold-up bed in a tiny nook of the dining room. The bed had to be folded up during the day in order to allow free passage to the kitchen--that's how small his space was. It just had room for his bed, and a file drawer next to it where he kept some toys. There was no space between the drawer and his bed and no space along the walls. On top of the file drawer, he kept a plant which got sun from the window above the bed. Elsewhere in the dining room he had a shelf of toys. Then, in our bedroom, he had his books and a lot more toys. Our bedroom contained his clothes, my desk and books. The living room had a desk for my DH. So things were not laid out in a very traditional way, but it worked for us; we were very happy. We stayed there until my child was 5.
So I'm just saying that you can live "differently" (many people do!) and even crowded and still have all the sweetness and light a family could possibly have. From what you wrote in the thread about baby-readiness, I think you already know that.
Your time for a house will probably come along eventually, but it is not going to be the thing that makes your family once and for all whole and happy. So please don't be sad if a house seems years yet in the future. Just keep an eye out for better places to live less expensively and ways to economize on the non-necessities to make room for the necessities as well as the dreams.
Especially if you decide against scrimping further to get insurance, I would at least scrimp further to run more money through your HSA. You are taking money from elsewhere to pay medical expenses, so you might as well get the tax advantage by running it through the HSA.
I'm wondering if you also have child care expenses that you are forgetting in your expense report above. Anyhow, if the two of you do pick up extra jobs, mightn't it cost you something in childcare? Don't forget to figure that in.
Do you happen to know anyone who makes less money than you and lives in your city? Where do they live? Would they have knowledge of less expensive apartments? If you could let people know, perhaps they would let you know when they see something decent open up.
Are both or one of your kids on formula or have an expensive medical diet? If not, I suspect you really could move some money out of the food category and into the more pressed categories like the HSA, the student loans, the credit cards, or even the house savings.
To me, that $200 a month electricity does not sound bad, as I surely have paid that much between my gas and electric bills combined last month. ($170 gas, $36 electric).
Towards being happier with your living space---how many square feet do you have? When you are ready to begin moving the kids to their own space, do you have a corner in another part of the apartment where they can have a bed? They don't need to have an entire room dedicated just to their own bed, clothes, and toys. Their possessions can remain wherever you have them now....I knew someone who bought a little play tent for her son and played with him in it set up in her living room. Then she began taking naps in it with him so that it would seem like a cozy, restful place for him. Then she began putting him to bed for the night there as it seemed like his own place, a cozy, and happy spot. No more kiddie in Mom & Dad's bedroom after that....A child I tutor has a pallet just in full view in their living room. That's where I tutor her, too. I know this is a family who is very frugal and always scrimping, but doing so in a way that seems really emotionally secure and dignified, despite the fact that their girl sleeps in the living room.
I do sympathize. Though I only have one child, we lived in two different 1 bedroom apartments before we bought a house. In the first he slept in our BR until he was 3 when we moved to a still 1 BR, but slightly roomier apartment. In the second place, he had a fold-up bed in a tiny nook of the dining room. The bed had to be folded up during the day in order to allow free passage to the kitchen--that's how small his space was. It just had room for his bed, and a file drawer next to it where he kept some toys. There was no space between the drawer and his bed and no space along the walls. On top of the file drawer, he kept a plant which got sun from the window above the bed. Elsewhere in the dining room he had a shelf of toys. Then, in our bedroom, he had his books and a lot more toys. Our bedroom contained his clothes, my desk and books. The living room had a desk for my DH. So things were not laid out in a very traditional way, but it worked for us; we were very happy. We stayed there until my child was 5.
So I'm just saying that you can live "differently" (many people do!) and even crowded and still have all the sweetness and light a family could possibly have. From what you wrote in the thread about baby-readiness, I think you already know that.
Your time for a house will probably come along eventually, but it is not going to be the thing that makes your family once and for all whole and happy. So please don't be sad if a house seems years yet in the future. Just keep an eye out for better places to live less expensively and ways to economize on the non-necessities to make room for the necessities as well as the dreams.
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