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Hello Everyone,
Thought I would introduce myself and a little about my situation, I dont see a forum for personal stories so hope this is a good spot to post.
I was actually raised to be very responsible with money, used to read and listen to Larry Burkett for those who remember him. I married young and married a man who was a spendthrift, compulsive, horrid with managing $$$. I took that part on and did all of that but I couldnt stop him from creating accounts behind my back and purchasing things and hiding them from me till I got the bills and the items were not at a point to be returned. He could make good money when he worked but had a tendency to not stay with any job for a long period and quit abruptly often leaving us a terrible state of affairs and me having to give him an ultimatum to find the next job or get out. I also was borrowing $$ from my parents to pay bills when we came up short and worked around there house to help pay it off, even while pregnant I was mowing lawns. Well I ended up divorcing due to many forms of abuse and with 2 children.
I was awarded the house, was left with all the debt seeing as he could care less to pay any of it and I wanted to preserve my credit and I had the kids living with me. I was a stay at home mom and got a job a month before he left where I made $700 a month. He also did not pay child support.
So as you can see it was a BAD PLACE.
I had help from consumer credit counseling with the credit cards.
I qualified for food stamps which supplied our groceries.
The one positive is we bought a home at a big low in the market and my mortgage/tax/ins payments were a total of $450 a month and I had a 4 bedroom house, I couldnt even rent a decent 2 bedroom apt for that much and I was awarded the home and all the equity because he was not paying child support. So I did not have to buy him out or pay him off.
It was a tough time, but I got through it, my hours increased at work, I went full time, I got health ins benefits for the kids and I. But I did have friends come hand me cash at christmas just to buy presents for my kids.
I also sold items online to make extra cash so I always had gas money or money for a utility bill with the items sold. It kept small amounts of money coming in weekly.
I had to take a loan from my parents to get a lawyer for the divorce as it became nasty and took 3 yrs.
My Tax returns/earned income credit became my source for home repairs each year. My parents gave me a gift of new plumbing, and paid for half of my new roof, I paid the other half.
I was laid off a few yrs ago at my job, first the hours were decreased, then the layoff occurred. I did qualify for unemployment, in the meantime Ive juggled some credit cards and a student loan plus and equity loan.
Ive always made payments on time, my credit is excellent despite the divorce, Ive just not been in much of a place to get ahead, which has been frustrating.
I get sporadic child support so that cant be counted on and Im dealing with a person who is set to evade the system and abuse it each time I take him to court to try and enforce and I frankly am tired of shelling out money for lawyers. I even had to awards from the court the ex was to pay my legal fees, 2 yrs later my lawyers office billed me for it and said in my contract if he doesnt honor it I had to pay. That was heart breaking an another debt on the pile, it was $4000, they were chasing him they said for it, and would give it back to me, what I paid, if he ever paid it (Yeah right) They agreed to settle with me for $2000 and to be done with it, no interest. So I opted for that, Put $1000 down in cash and the other on a credit card.
I turned my hobby into my own business, I make enough to get by, I have teens in the best schools in town, which is hard to believe as I dont live in that area and one of my sons was accepted into a program and gets his AA degree while going to high school and all college expenses are paid by the program, nothing out of my pocket. So Im able to drive back and forth a couple times a day to keep my boys in there schools and changing daily schedules.
Im a thrift shopper, my kids look nice but I shop Ross and Burlington Coat Factory and if you browse you can find name brand stuff at good prices.
I was able to get on the state Insurance plan for the kids(i didnt qualify because I had a retirement acct, they want you to cash it out and use the cash to even qualify)
I had been dating a man who also went thru layoffs of a big company after 5 yrs there. He went thru the long stretch of unemployment and temp jobs along the way.
Despite all this, I started to take the tax returns each year and put them towards the debt and having been making slow headway as the bulk of major home repairs are all done now.
The bf and I got married over a year ago. We started to look outside the box for jobs in other areas not close but had to be worth it in pay. No luck, then one day on craigslist found a job ad in a city 2 hrs from here. Husband contacted and the job was out of state. He shrugged it off, then thought what the heck. Applied. This was in December! 2 weeks later he was employed as a temp at $30 an hr and 6 hrs from home in another state!
That job lasted a month, he rented a room there in the meantime. Came home for a month and was hired again and went back for about 4 mos, laid off again, came home for 2 weeks, got picked up again, this is all with the same company just different locations near one another. He was 2 wks in, manager calls him in and had his resume on his desk, my husband had applied for a core position also, the guy hired him on the spot, even higher pay. A month later that manager resigned.
My husband is now a core employee just over a month in, got health benefits for us, and is renting a room about 5 min from the job. We are traveling back and forth twice a month to be together for weekends. Its not the ideal situation, but we are making it work and we have now paid off his credit card, 2 of mine, working on my student loan, and we will need to buy a new used car in the near future, he just had car probs yest and is taking the local bus, thankfully it picks up end of his street and lets off in front of his employer, WHEW!
I cant go out of state due to my custody situation, so thats another wrench in the way. My kids are high school now. And one is a Jr in the College program thats paid for and he loves the school and we want him to finish there as part of his college is totally paid for and will give him a great platform and edge as an 18 yr old already with an AA degree. Yes despite the other parent not paying support he still has a legal say if they go out of state and Im just not up for another legal fight as hes a controller/manipulator, and I dont think my kids at this stage in life want to uproot, and I wont leave them with there father as they would loose there good schools(there Dad lives over an hour away) and being in Dads home there education would suffer as Dad is a drop out who does not value education.
So here is our situation as of today
Mortgage $40,000
Equity Loan $9000
Student Loan $2800
The goal is to have the Student and Equity Loan paid off within 6 mos, Im really trying to do it by December if possible. We have been able to put almost $1000 twice a month onto debt as long as nothing else comes up.
We have our
$1000 emergency account
$4400 in our account for living expenses should we face unemployment again, we are working to build this up to 6 mos income set aside.
He only has to pay $400 a month for his place, utilities, etc where hes staying, so even with that we are making it just fine and hes 5 min from work, so even though his older vehicle is currently out of commission the bus system works for now.
We do have to buy a newer used car soon, one for the family to fit in as I only have a truck thats very hard to fit 2 boys around 6ft in. So that will go to husband once we get another vehicle.
So yes, in the middle of this "recession" my husband found a job, right before Christmas, makes double what he made now there then he made at his old job that he was laid off from. We are making great headway on our debt, we live in a poor side of town but have our kids in the best schools in other parts of town.
Oh and we always give 10% back to the church or a ministry of everything we make during all of this too.
So if anyone has any suggestions for us on a good roomy family vehicle with decent gas mileage, let me know. I will have to start browsing newer used cars. I need something I can carry large items in or stuff for my business(right now bed of my truck is great) so Im thinking my best bet is family van as I can remove the back seat and still have room for the teens, but to carry stuff, but something thats more comfortable to travel to see my husband in for the 6 hr drives. But also has decent gas mileage.
So Im hoping in the new year we can finally start putting $$$ into retirement. We both have very meager retirement accounts set up from our previous jobs, we are in our late 30s.
Our situation is not ideal for everyone, being in 2 diff states, not being together all the time, but we know its temporary and will pay off greatly. Both my kids will be grown in the next 2-4 yrs. We also have it set to sit and re evaluate this next summer how this situation is working.
My husband is working as much overtime as possible, they have no limits on him right now, so hes been busting his behind racking up OT. And he will soon have potential to earn bonuses for sat work on top of the overtime pay.
And we have health ins for the first time in about 3 yrs! So dont think it cant be done. I was divorced in 2003, and slowly have worked my way up.
Funny thing is? My ex husband made MORE money then Ive ever made or had when we married, but we were in the WORST financial shape back then. Ive made 3 times less and been in a better state without him then with him. Financial Abuse is real and its ugly and so beware and be wise when choosing a person to marry. Make sure they have the same desire and passion in life to be wise about finances.
Thought I would introduce myself and a little about my situation, I dont see a forum for personal stories so hope this is a good spot to post.
I was actually raised to be very responsible with money, used to read and listen to Larry Burkett for those who remember him. I married young and married a man who was a spendthrift, compulsive, horrid with managing $$$. I took that part on and did all of that but I couldnt stop him from creating accounts behind my back and purchasing things and hiding them from me till I got the bills and the items were not at a point to be returned. He could make good money when he worked but had a tendency to not stay with any job for a long period and quit abruptly often leaving us a terrible state of affairs and me having to give him an ultimatum to find the next job or get out. I also was borrowing $$ from my parents to pay bills when we came up short and worked around there house to help pay it off, even while pregnant I was mowing lawns. Well I ended up divorcing due to many forms of abuse and with 2 children.
I was awarded the house, was left with all the debt seeing as he could care less to pay any of it and I wanted to preserve my credit and I had the kids living with me. I was a stay at home mom and got a job a month before he left where I made $700 a month. He also did not pay child support.
So as you can see it was a BAD PLACE.
I had help from consumer credit counseling with the credit cards.
I qualified for food stamps which supplied our groceries.
The one positive is we bought a home at a big low in the market and my mortgage/tax/ins payments were a total of $450 a month and I had a 4 bedroom house, I couldnt even rent a decent 2 bedroom apt for that much and I was awarded the home and all the equity because he was not paying child support. So I did not have to buy him out or pay him off.
It was a tough time, but I got through it, my hours increased at work, I went full time, I got health ins benefits for the kids and I. But I did have friends come hand me cash at christmas just to buy presents for my kids.
I also sold items online to make extra cash so I always had gas money or money for a utility bill with the items sold. It kept small amounts of money coming in weekly.
I had to take a loan from my parents to get a lawyer for the divorce as it became nasty and took 3 yrs.
My Tax returns/earned income credit became my source for home repairs each year. My parents gave me a gift of new plumbing, and paid for half of my new roof, I paid the other half.
I was laid off a few yrs ago at my job, first the hours were decreased, then the layoff occurred. I did qualify for unemployment, in the meantime Ive juggled some credit cards and a student loan plus and equity loan.
Ive always made payments on time, my credit is excellent despite the divorce, Ive just not been in much of a place to get ahead, which has been frustrating.
I get sporadic child support so that cant be counted on and Im dealing with a person who is set to evade the system and abuse it each time I take him to court to try and enforce and I frankly am tired of shelling out money for lawyers. I even had to awards from the court the ex was to pay my legal fees, 2 yrs later my lawyers office billed me for it and said in my contract if he doesnt honor it I had to pay. That was heart breaking an another debt on the pile, it was $4000, they were chasing him they said for it, and would give it back to me, what I paid, if he ever paid it (Yeah right) They agreed to settle with me for $2000 and to be done with it, no interest. So I opted for that, Put $1000 down in cash and the other on a credit card.
I turned my hobby into my own business, I make enough to get by, I have teens in the best schools in town, which is hard to believe as I dont live in that area and one of my sons was accepted into a program and gets his AA degree while going to high school and all college expenses are paid by the program, nothing out of my pocket. So Im able to drive back and forth a couple times a day to keep my boys in there schools and changing daily schedules.
Im a thrift shopper, my kids look nice but I shop Ross and Burlington Coat Factory and if you browse you can find name brand stuff at good prices.
I was able to get on the state Insurance plan for the kids(i didnt qualify because I had a retirement acct, they want you to cash it out and use the cash to even qualify)
I had been dating a man who also went thru layoffs of a big company after 5 yrs there. He went thru the long stretch of unemployment and temp jobs along the way.
Despite all this, I started to take the tax returns each year and put them towards the debt and having been making slow headway as the bulk of major home repairs are all done now.
The bf and I got married over a year ago. We started to look outside the box for jobs in other areas not close but had to be worth it in pay. No luck, then one day on craigslist found a job ad in a city 2 hrs from here. Husband contacted and the job was out of state. He shrugged it off, then thought what the heck. Applied. This was in December! 2 weeks later he was employed as a temp at $30 an hr and 6 hrs from home in another state!
That job lasted a month, he rented a room there in the meantime. Came home for a month and was hired again and went back for about 4 mos, laid off again, came home for 2 weeks, got picked up again, this is all with the same company just different locations near one another. He was 2 wks in, manager calls him in and had his resume on his desk, my husband had applied for a core position also, the guy hired him on the spot, even higher pay. A month later that manager resigned.
My husband is now a core employee just over a month in, got health benefits for us, and is renting a room about 5 min from the job. We are traveling back and forth twice a month to be together for weekends. Its not the ideal situation, but we are making it work and we have now paid off his credit card, 2 of mine, working on my student loan, and we will need to buy a new used car in the near future, he just had car probs yest and is taking the local bus, thankfully it picks up end of his street and lets off in front of his employer, WHEW!
I cant go out of state due to my custody situation, so thats another wrench in the way. My kids are high school now. And one is a Jr in the College program thats paid for and he loves the school and we want him to finish there as part of his college is totally paid for and will give him a great platform and edge as an 18 yr old already with an AA degree. Yes despite the other parent not paying support he still has a legal say if they go out of state and Im just not up for another legal fight as hes a controller/manipulator, and I dont think my kids at this stage in life want to uproot, and I wont leave them with there father as they would loose there good schools(there Dad lives over an hour away) and being in Dads home there education would suffer as Dad is a drop out who does not value education.
So here is our situation as of today
Mortgage $40,000
Equity Loan $9000
Student Loan $2800
The goal is to have the Student and Equity Loan paid off within 6 mos, Im really trying to do it by December if possible. We have been able to put almost $1000 twice a month onto debt as long as nothing else comes up.
We have our
$1000 emergency account
$4400 in our account for living expenses should we face unemployment again, we are working to build this up to 6 mos income set aside.
He only has to pay $400 a month for his place, utilities, etc where hes staying, so even with that we are making it just fine and hes 5 min from work, so even though his older vehicle is currently out of commission the bus system works for now.
We do have to buy a newer used car soon, one for the family to fit in as I only have a truck thats very hard to fit 2 boys around 6ft in. So that will go to husband once we get another vehicle.
So yes, in the middle of this "recession" my husband found a job, right before Christmas, makes double what he made now there then he made at his old job that he was laid off from. We are making great headway on our debt, we live in a poor side of town but have our kids in the best schools in other parts of town.
Oh and we always give 10% back to the church or a ministry of everything we make during all of this too.
So if anyone has any suggestions for us on a good roomy family vehicle with decent gas mileage, let me know. I will have to start browsing newer used cars. I need something I can carry large items in or stuff for my business(right now bed of my truck is great) so Im thinking my best bet is family van as I can remove the back seat and still have room for the teens, but to carry stuff, but something thats more comfortable to travel to see my husband in for the 6 hr drives. But also has decent gas mileage.
So Im hoping in the new year we can finally start putting $$$ into retirement. We both have very meager retirement accounts set up from our previous jobs, we are in our late 30s.
Our situation is not ideal for everyone, being in 2 diff states, not being together all the time, but we know its temporary and will pay off greatly. Both my kids will be grown in the next 2-4 yrs. We also have it set to sit and re evaluate this next summer how this situation is working.
My husband is working as much overtime as possible, they have no limits on him right now, so hes been busting his behind racking up OT. And he will soon have potential to earn bonuses for sat work on top of the overtime pay.
And we have health ins for the first time in about 3 yrs! So dont think it cant be done. I was divorced in 2003, and slowly have worked my way up.
Funny thing is? My ex husband made MORE money then Ive ever made or had when we married, but we were in the WORST financial shape back then. Ive made 3 times less and been in a better state without him then with him. Financial Abuse is real and its ugly and so beware and be wise when choosing a person to marry. Make sure they have the same desire and passion in life to be wise about finances.
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