Divorce and separation of debt

**irmanator** · 05-25-2010, 12:41 PM

I thought you had custody?

**disneysteve** · 05-25-2010, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by Radiance View Post

Now, do you think a judge would force me to pay half of the debt even though my spouse states he wants to pay for it?

I know I need to see a lawyer and I will but I wanted to hear experiences. Thanks

I understand this, but what anyone here thinks or what anyone here has experienced really isn't relevant. You need to speak to your attorney. Divorce laws vary dramatically from state to state.

I will say that any verbal agreements you have with him are worthless. Anything that isn't properly and legally recorded in writing doesn't exist in the eyes of the law. You need to get your lawyer working on this ASAP to get your name removed from all of the joint debts if possible and get his agreement to pay certain things in writing.

**Radiance** · 05-25-2010, 01:09 PM

I can get his agreement in writting, he actually reminded me of that.
My concern is that after signed it will not look 50/50 as he will hold most of the debt as of today. But I will have a lawyer check on this
I never got custody, that only happens after divorce.
For the last 2 months he has had my son 3 overnights so he wants joint custody.
Before he only had him on Sundays as verbal agreement
Now we are doing 3 overnights with dad and 4 with mom as per verbal and I transferred that to the parenting plan

**Seeker** · 05-25-2010, 01:17 PM

Originally posted by Radiance View Post

My soon to be ex and I separated in 2008 and we got to a verbal agreement about the debts (well, in paper but never signed them or notarized them, my mistake). He has come true to his side so far, I have had no problems.

Now I am finally filing for divorce.
All seems to be uncontested on my conversations with him.
My concern is whether a judge will insist on separating things differently than we have agreed upon.

Since 2008 many things have changed
I got out of debt on side of agreement while he kept on paying minimums on his side.

My only current debt is $7000 on a car loan.

He has 5 credit cards on his name only, not sure of balances. I asked him for that info, but he thinks he doesnt have to tell me because it is only on his name and he agrees that is on him. Plus, due to adultery activities he doenst want me to see the statements and I really dont want to pay for jewerly I never received or trips I never went on, etc.
There is a lease on both names which expires in July for his Jeep
There is a credit union loan on both names for about $9000, which he agreed to pay and has paid on time all this time.
He has a motorcycle loan on his name only

I make almost his income... not sure if relevant. (I know I have to pay him child support, I am ok with that, it is only $20, maybe it will get dismissed)

Now, do you think a judge would force me to pay half of the debt even though my spouse states he wants to pay for it?

I know I need to see a lawyer and I will but I wanted to hear experiences. Thanks

Radiance, I'm not a lawyer nor have I ever been through a divorce. But what I do know is this, and what I advise is this:

Even though it's after the separation, get all your and his oral financial "agreements" in typed writing, a list of what you both agree to (it'd be best if you both met to make that list as well). The ultimate intention is for the both of you to agree to the same things that you've both agreed to before, and get it written, presented to a notary and signed by you, he and that notary with their current credentials.

Judges usually do not "review" what has been agreed to. If it's "fair" and neither of you are argueing about those things, then it shouldn't change.... BUT YOU HAVE TO GET IT IN WRITING AND BOTH MUST SIGN IN THE PRESENCE OF A NOTARY.

Judges usually only deal with the portions of the divorce that are in contention and cannot be agreed to.

At least that's my (albeit limited) understanding. Confirm with an attorney. California is a 50/50 state; but I think that if both have agreed in writing to other arrangements, that those other arrangements are not easily reversed nor changed.

**Broken Arrow** · 05-25-2010, 02:42 PM

There's not much more I can add to what's already been said, but I do want to point out that, yes, a judge indeed has the power to enforce the law through judgement. That is, if the terms does not seem fair, he or she can make it fair.

Now, whether a judge will do so, especially in your case, is an entirely different matter.

It's just all the more reason to get these financial matters cleaned up as you proceed along the divorce.

By the way, the terms between my ex and I are not entirely fair or even either. Some stipulations favor her whereas some admittedly favor me. But the point is that, we were both satisfied with our terms, and having our agreement signed and notarized, it became legally-binding for us, even if it isn't precisely 50/50 in the eyes of the law.

But I am only stating my own (tragic) experiences. I am not a lawyer, your mileage may vary, and so on and so forth. But yeah, fix the loose ends and make it all legally-binding.

Divorce and separation of debt