Can frugality morph into a disease?

[Slug]

troll (most likely) or some version/mix of PDD with features of a personality disorder. Sad either way.

[tripods68]

I just have a different angle.

I don't think there is nothing wrong with saving to the future even to the extreme as you put it. But be sure to define what those are. Do you see yourself with a wife, kids, house, car payment, dog? With the money you saved, you can buy a home and car in cash. But relationship is hardest thing to find which is hard to quantify. Women today are far more sophisticated. If you want to have a "normal" relationship, your lifestyle must change in a way to attract the opposite sex. It may take some compromises, but that how relationship works.

[Seeker]

He doesn't want a relationship. He does not think that he needs it.

He does not want anything different. He does not think that he's missing anything.

He will do as he does and, in his heart, laugh at the rest of us who vie for things.

In the end, we all lose all that we possess; in the end, he will too.

But we will have memories of others and a sharing of our lives; he is very isolated in his fear of loss.

I could not journey through life as he does, but I understand his words.

Yes, if this is really his life, he is not well.

[bjl584]

This can't be real. If it is real, then I would suggest some form of intervention. No one with over a million dollars in the bank panhandles and digs through dumpsters for their next meal.

[Broken Arrow]

How very eloquent and true, seeker.

In the spirit of fairness, I also think it depends on his priorities. Everyone has slightly different priorities, if nothing else because we all have slightly-- or perhaps not so slightly-- different lives.

If the priorities of a prince is to live as a pauper, and if that is where he finds happiness and satisfaction in life, then who am I to argue with Buddha?

But if he is doing this out of fear and insecurity, then yes, I agree that his priorities are mixed up and he needs help.

I think it depends.

[Snodog]

If the priorities of a prince is to live as a pauper, and if that is where he finds happiness and satisfaction in life, then who am I to argue with Buddha?

But if he is doing this out of fear and insecurity, then yes, I agree that his priorities are mixed up and he needs help.

I think it depends.

Very wise. I agree.

[disneysteve]

No one with over a million dollars in the bank panhandles and digs through dumpsters for their next meal.

I'd be willing to be that there are people who fit that description regardless of whether this story is real or not.

[Scanner]

I seem to remember Dr. Phil doing a show on "Hoarders". . .and whether that constituted a mental illness or not.

Actually, I was interested because of one of the people who was a "hoarder" was a chiropractor - so, even though we are a bit "kooky" , apparently, you can't really classify it as a mental illness b/c he was very functional in society.

He was just convinced there was going to be some monetary collapse, or terrorist induced nuclear disaster and stocked on 2.5 years worth of food, comic books, etc. and had a shelter.

I have actually knocked around the thought in my head sometimes but I guess I have come to the conclusion that it is "societal bonds" that forge survival, that we are "interdependent" vs. being "independent" and that if something like that happened, I would rather have leadership skills (which I think I have to some degree) vs. a stockpile of food.

Of course, nothing like a shotgun when there's civil unrest . Unfortunately, Haiti makes that apparent.

[Broken Arrow]

I have actually knocked around the thought in my head sometimes but I guess I have come to the conclusion that it is "societal bonds" that forge survival, that we are "interdependent" vs. being "independent" and that if something like that happened, I would rather have leadership skills (which I think I have to some degree) vs. a stockpile of food.

Excellent. I couldn't agree more. On survival forums, this notion would be quite controversial and somewhat unpopular, but I would back you up on this because it is the truth. Part of the existence of society in the first place is as a survival mechanism.

[tripods68]

...better question...."What would Orpha do?"

[Seeker]

How very eloquent and true, seeker.

In the spirit of fairness, I also think it depends on his priorities. Everyone has slightly different priorities, if nothing else because we all have slightly-- or perhaps not so slightly-- different lives.

If the priorities of a prince is to live as a pauper, and if that is where he finds happiness and satisfaction in life, then who am I to argue with Buddha?

But if he is doing this out of fear and insecurity, then yes, I agree that his priorities are mixed up and he needs help.

I think it depends.

In all honesty, I don't feel that he has any priority. He seems to let life lead him where it wants.... willing to do anything to save that penny. Even if it means white lies to his family/friends in order to avoid their expectations. And even if it means "pushing others" away.

Is he happy....

I also have come to a point in my life where I think some elements to the way I'm living could be considered to not be in my best interest and I do not know if what I'm doing is really worth it. For example, is it wise to spend hours in the cold shoveling snow for $40 if it could mean getting ill and missing several days of work?

The first sentence indicates not. The second question does not follow the first.... or does not COMPLETELY follow the first. There are other alternatives, like let the younger hardier youth spend the time shoveling snow and earn some dollars, especially since he's not hurting for those extra dollars. He's driven by habit, and questioning, "is this all there is?"

People who do this, are not happy. Something is isolating them; they are hiding a fear. Happy people don't present an unreal image of themselves to the world in order to generate goodwill or sympathy from others. Happy people are mostly satisfied with their lives and at least their self-image. He denies his own reality by presenting a facade to others. A Doll's House.

My question to him is this:

If it's not really worth it, then why continue to do it?

You are 39.... do you really consider this to be the only safe path to take?

Because in my mind, successful people are people who "share" ; they share in whatever way they can.

Money is only one very small tool.... there are many ways of sharing and giving back and living. You may lose some, but you'll also gain some. Life is more than existing. You have no "downs" but that also means, you have no "ups."

The live described above is not a life; it's an existance, but not a life that most people would want to live.

[cptacek]

I think it is fair to say that most people would consider your lifestyle quite extreme, even bordering on obsessive. Dumpster diving for food, panhandling for money for someone with a 6-figure income certainly at least suggests the possibility of mental illness but I'm not a psychiatrist nor is anyone here as far as I know, so we certainly can't diagnose you with a "disease".

I have some issues with the "whatever floats your boat" advice. It may or may not apply here but if the OP truly suffers from some mental illness, saying, "if you are happy, go for it" really isn't appropriate. Mental illness takes a big toll on lots of people other than the patient, like the family, friends, housemates, co-workers, children, etc. Disease is disease, whether it be physical disease like diabetes or hypertension or mental disease like bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder or schizophrenia. It needs to be properly treated for everyone's benefit.

Just because the patient is happy the way he is doesn't mean his disease should be ignored.

By the way, OP. I'm very surprised that your public library computers accept floppy disks since they stopped putting floppy drives in computers quite a few years ago. Your library must have some older computers. Also, keep in mind that floppy disks don't last forever. They can only be rewritten a finite number of times and then start wearing out.

These posts contradict each other.

[tripods68]

How about this, instead of always thinking about how much money you can save, start VOLUNTEERING your time to feed the homeless. You can save yourselve from 'dumpster-diving'. This benefit you mentally while helping the REAL poorest society in the world. That might trigger changes in your 'way' of thinking. Helping others in dire needs to me, makes me appreciate the thinks I have; wife, kids, house, good paying job, etc....Who knows it might work.

Start thinking about helping "others" instead of of ME all the time.

[disneysteve]

These posts contradict each other.

The first post you quoted was directed at the OP. The second post you quoted was meant as a general comment about mental illness, not specifically to the OP. That's why I said "It may or may not apply here"

[Scanner]

Haitian Communities Set Up Neighborhood Watches : NPR

Broken Arrow,

Related to the side discussion we were having on the "survivalist" mentality. . .apparently in Haiti right now the concept of "sharing" seems to work better than "hoarding", at least in a middle class neighborhood in Haiti, from a pure survival standpoint.

We are wired to be "interdependent" vs. "independent."

This discussion, while maybe "troll induced", is also a recurrent basic discussion in economics:

"For me to be rich. . .does someone have to be poor?" That is. . .is all resources (which money represents) finite and thus the OP is rightfully trying to hoard? Or can resources be generated from nothing? Like Bill Gates creating "Silicon Valley" out of sand?

Like we noted, it's leadership skills that come into play like this 28 year old instituting a neighborhood watch to fend off looters and thugs. I thought you may be interested and you may want to post that piece on the Survivalist Forum for "cannon fodder" for them, lol.