Loaning Friends Money

[Scanner]

Okay, we have all heard the horror stories of loaning a friend money and the pat advice of if you do it, make it a "gift" in your mind and don't expect to be repaid.

That being said, I want to know if there is actually a rule or exceptions we make this policy around.

I'll try to design this poll a good way to see if you have had good experience lending friends money. I am posting this for obvious reasons. . .a friend could use some money and I have offered him some. . .wondering what my odds are that I would get paid back.

[Snodog]

I've always got my money back when I loaned to a friend. Items are a different story.

I think it depends on the friend and how much you trust them.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I ticked "so-so". I was not surprised by the loans that were slow-to-never to repay. I knew their character, abilities, and earnings ahead of time, so I was aware of the risk. The ones who repaid quickly were no surprise either. If you know your friends, you probably have a good idea what the outcome will be.

Oddly, one slow-to-no payer has recently dumped me when I failed to respond to an email in which she asked me to do a huge, huge favor (lifetime commitment) for her. Oh heck, let me just say---she asked me to be guardian to her child should she die. I had thought she'd drawn up papers to arrange this some time ago before a surgery, but since she was asking me again, I guess she did not. Her health is crap; her child is young; I am older; my husband is older yet. So I figured DH & I needed to talk about this all over again as she was asking us a second time; thus the delay in responding.....Anyway, in her explanation of how wounded she felt not to have gotten a response in a whole month's time, she swore that she would repay what she owes from several years ago and that otherwise I would never hear from her again. I still do not expect re-payment.

Yep, you know your friends.

PS Family members have never failed to repay.

[sfalexi]

II think it depends on the friend and how much you trust them.

And also how willing are you either to forget the debt, or forget the friend.

I had no problem loaning 20 bucks to someone I knew on almost a monthly basis, because they never forgot to pay back. Had they NOT paid back, I can spare 20 bucks. If I were to loan a good amount of money and really EXPECTED and WANTED it back, I'm taking a risk at losing a friend.

Up to you.

[arthurb999]

You're missing the option saying "I won't lend money to anyone... I'm not a bank."

[MonkeyMama]

You're missing the option saying "I won't lend money to anyone... I'm not a bank."

Yup!

I would personally never lend to a friend, though I agree with the rule of thumb - if I felt so inclined to help, I Would tell them it was a loan, and consider it a gift. It's the best way to approach it. You won't ruin the friendship if they don't pay it back, and you will be happy or pleasantly surprised if they do repay it. Win/win.

I've never lent a dime to anyone, so no experience there.

[ActYourWage]

You're missing the option saying "I won't lend money to anyone... I'm not a bank."

Agreed. People start acting strange if they owe you money.

[disneysteve]

I have never lent any significant amount of money to anyone. That isn't what friends are for.

[GREENBACK]

Perhaps the word "friend" should be defined. I would never stiff anyone over money I owe them and certainly not anyone I consider to be a true friend. I have loaned money before that wasn't paid back and that person never spoke to me again. No loss, wasn't a true friend if he lacked integrity like that.

[MonkeyMama]

Perhaps the word "friend" should be defined. I would never stiff anyone over money I owe them and certainly not anyone I consider to be a true friend. I have loaned money before that wasn't paid back and that person never spoke to me again. No loss, wasn't a true friend if he lacked integrity like that.

True. But would a "true friend" ask to borrow money in the first place?

[fruitbowlk]

True. But would a "true friend" ask to borrow money in the first place?

I use to think so. But now I agree with this statement. true friends wouldn't need to borrow money.

[Scanner]

No, that's not what friends are for. . .but let's face it. . .it does happen - a friend gets down on luck.

My friend just moved and is starting a new job and had to pawn his guitar because he's flat broke. He's a doctor who lost his license and then got it back. . .he used all of his money up on the job transfer but he has a sign-on bonus coming from the VA hospital.

Still. . .everybody has the same sort of story, I realize. . .nothing special about mine. . .he didn't ask. . .but I felt like I should offer although I see nothing wrong with him pawning his personal belongings. That's what pawn shops are for, after all.

Just wanted to see the raw odds, what they are beyond what the "pundits" seem to opine. . .that friends stiff you. Nice to see the truth falls somewhere in between. . .

[kork13]

I've had generally good experience with loaning friends money, but also a few bad ones.... Thankfully, the only "bad" ones lost me no more than $20-$50 or so. I'm not too broken up about it.

As for "true friends don't ask", I disagree. Between 'true friends', there is the trust that if a loan becomes necessary, the debt will be repaid. Just because somebody asks you to help them with something doesn't mean they're not worthy of your friendship. I've loaned money to (or covered for) plenty of my friends, but only because I had complete trust that I'd be repaid. In all but a couple cases (guess: 3/100), that has been right on.

[GREENBACK]

I agree with the majority of what's been said here. I believe that a person that you loan money to that is a real friend will make every possible effort to pay you back once they're back on their feet. I would do this if a complete stranger loaned me money but that's another story.

You'll be able to tell a lot about so called friends when you observe that they've recovered from their financial crisis but are dining and dancing instead of paying you back.

Scanner:

If your friend is a good friend and needs it and you feel he's good to pay you back then loan it if you can afford to. Expect nothing back and wait for the result. You'll now know what measure of a person he is by how he honors his debt to you.

[Caoineag]

I have found that true friends never ask but that I offer and they offer when they see a need. Course I keep my friends for 20+ years so that may taint the definition. I have found that most people use the word friend when I would use the word acquaintance.