Health Care = The Culprit in Budget Problem

[Professorshak]

Is there some reason why your wife isn't able to work while in school?

She's overqualified for the basic positions which offer more flexible times (cashier, secretary, etc...) even when she was willing to take the cut.
She doesn't take night classes; 2 days out of the business week shes in school during the day.
The places she's applied to aren't willing to be flexible with her schedule. She's looking into positions at her college, but the competition is fierce and they usually give positions to matriculated undergrads/grads.

If she includes her work experience, she's overqualified ( she used to make $72k b4 taxes) if she omits the experience, she's underqualified and it's been too long since she's worked in other fields. These are what recruiters and companies are telling her before, during, and after interviews.

[disneysteve]

I never totallly understood the whole "overqualified" thing and especially not in the current economy. Seems to me that if an employer is looking for help and has a mature, reliable individual interested in doing the job, that would be a good thing. Certainly, she needs to explain why she is looking for a job that is below her training level. The fact that she has gone back to school and needs part-time work ought to be a good enough reason, I would think.

What employers worry about is that they will spend all their time training the person only to have them quit as soon as something better comes along.

[mom-from-missouri]

My 2 cents worth, if you take the $1000 apt, that is like getting her insurance for 1/2 off.

Taking the grandmas housing offer would be like getting her insurance for free.

Your housing is eating you up.

Disney Steve--not all Walmarts are $4--some are $6 Rx. I found that out 2 weeks ago while getting one filled at a different Walmart. I was told they were divided into zones--lower stores who don't generate as much income have prices higher. They had notebooks for 30 cents each while Walmart in another town had them for a nickle each--same notebooks. I complained and the manager came and told me this... So, now I know not to go to that Walmart again--it was my first and last visit.

[disneysteve]

Disney Steve--not all Walmarts are $4--some are $6 Rx. I found that out 2 weeks ago while getting one filled at a different Walmart. I was told they were divided into zones--lower stores who don't generate as much income have prices higher. They had notebooks for 30 cents each while Walmart in another town had them for a nickle each--same notebooks. I complained and the manager came and told me this... So, now I know not to go to that Walmart again--it was my first and last visit.

Very interesting. I was not aware of that. In this part of the country, they are all $4. Odd about the notebooks, too. Would they match the price of the other WalMart store?

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Since your grandma's house is large, perhaps there is a way to put in a second make-do kitchen. A small fridge, a microwave oven, a toaster oven, a crockpot, a sturdy, double burner hotplate, an electric pot, a coffee maker. You probably have most of this stuff anyway. A make-do kitchen doesn't even have to be an entire room, just a spot where you can also set up some storage shelves will do. Water can be gotten from a sink elsewhere and dishes even washed in plastic dish pans in your own area, if you like.

Just talk it all out with grandma ahead of time. Figure out how much you would help on utilities. You two might use way more than your grandmother does by herself. It might also be necessary to figure out how to handle heating and cooling separately, as age can make a big difference in needs for heat and cool. Tell grandma how much you expect you would really be around, how much privacy you may need, what tasks you would like to take care of, etc. If you've ever had roommates, you probably have an idea what issues to bring up.

I know it might feel like going backward in your economic life to live like this for a few years, but unless a couple of great jobs are going to magically drop down out of the sky and cancel the needs to go back to school, then I think you should just embrace your good fortune of having family who is ready to help you out.

Is your wife objecting to living in your grandma's house?

[disneysteve]

I know it might feel like going backward in your economic life to live like this for a few years, but unless a couple of great jobs are going to magically drop down out of the sky and cancel the needs to go back to school, then I think you should just embrace your good fortune of having family who is ready to help you out.

Exactly what I was thinking but much more eloquently expressed here.

[Professorshak]

My wife does object but is still considering it but My mother and my aunts lived with my grandparents for some time before they were able to go out on their own and they say her personality is just difficult to the point where it threatened their marriage so it is objectionable.

[MonkeyMama]

Good advice. Look into school medical insurance, and yes, I agree that housing is your problem.

I won't nitpick you on the job thing. My spouse worked all through college, multiple minimum wage jobs. Excellent employee, always promoted lightning fast. When he applied for the same type jobs with a college degree and having not worked a few years, no one would hire him. They don't want to "train" someone who will take a better job down the road apperently. Though you could say the same of any college student - the prefer young people I guess. This was when economy was good and local retailers were absolutely desparate for help. It was completely mind boggling. Multiple employers told dh they didn't want anyone with "responsiiblities." ??? Who else would be looking for a job. ? I can't even imagine how it is in this economy.

Needless to say, my spouse will return to school before re-entering the workforce. College sounds like a step in the right direction. You will have to scrimp and sacrifice in the interim, to come out ahead.

[Scanner]

I would say you spring for groceries and if grandma is a good cook, let her cook for 3 instead of 1 and keep it in the fridge when you get home. I mean, there's hardly any difference other than volume.

I know you are probably rightfully worried about being an imposition and losing your privacy but

a. I am sure grandma, with her years of wisdom and experience, knows what married couples do in the bedroom. You just can't do it in the kitchen or living room floor anymore And it's not like you are shacking up. You are married.

b. You are going to both be working, going to school and studying anyway so it's going to be more like just a place to crash for a couple of years.

c. Tell her thank you once/month.

d. Extended family has really been downplayed in this country. Our culture has a real problem with this and shouldn't. Like the rest of the forum, I say take her up on it. It's beter than going into debt and then asking grandma to bail you out.

e. I expect my sons will be living with me off and on for years to come. That's family.

[Seeker]

My wife does object but is still considering it but My mother and my aunts lived with my grandparents for some time before they were able to go out on their own and they say her personality is just difficult to the point where it threatened their marriage so it is objectionable.

How long ago did your Mom & Aunts live with their folks?

People change over time. And if Granny is alone now, she may just want more people to be with and talk with.

I would talk with your SO and see what she sees as negative in living with your Granny. Your wife would have a more current view of her; she may have reasons that she cannot describe too.... maybe just feelings.

I think all three of you should sit down together and talk everything through. Especially expectations.

The offer would help you both financially over this time and it might be gratifying to Granny too.