Wedding

[tomer]

Hi,

One of my friends just told me that he is getting married. Great news, isn't it? That is why I thought, but appearantely he earns very little money at work. His dream is a very big wedding. What should he do?

[rennigade]

You can recommend the obvious to have a smaller wedding. More than likely he'll be like a lot of other americans and put themselves into debt for 1 day.

Me personally...I want to remember my wedding through pictures and memories, not from the bills coming in each month for the next 10 years.

[tomer]

The issue with wedding is the fact that people have waited for this and always dream about their "hugh" wedding.

[wnlbutterfly]

Tell him to set a budget before they even start planning. OR have a very long engagement so they can pay as they go.

I have seen people spend tons of money on a wedding and the marriage lasts maybe 3 years. There is no correlation between money spent on the wedding and how successful the marriage will be.

You can do a lot of stuff that will curb costs. Just have to be willing to do so.

[tomer]

i liked what you said and its true,most people just want their wedding to be the biggest no matter how much it costs...its for their ego,not happiness...
its definetly should be about the memories and pictures!

[Ima saver]

I got married at home. We had refreshments and an open bar. Friends and family took pictures. We spent about $100 and had a wonderful little party before we left for our honeymoon! It was the happiest day of my life and I never regret not spending a lot of money. (BTW, that was 32 years ago and we are still happy together)

[rizzmo]

My wife and I got married at the courthouse and had a nice dinner out with both of our parents. Total cost $500. We could have had big expensive wedding, but we decided we would rather use the money for a home.

[snafu]

Weddings are BIG business and everyone is just a salesman preying on the emotions of the principals to have them believe they must have dozens of fripperes at inflated prices. The wedding service itself is inexpensive, a chapel or pretty place, an officiant, supporters as the wedding party, family and as many friends as he desires.

From that point on it gets crazier and crazier! A cake that costs $100. for any other large event costs $ 500. and up for weddings. Ugly, made-in-China cake toppers start at $30. Catered buffet dinner that costs $30. per plate at many restaurants, costs $ 125. per plate and on it goes! An elegant evening gown doesn't cost $18,000. the gals are spending for a dress worn about 8 hours.

Unless the father of the bride is picking up the tab...he and intended need to start saving big-time now. He will live with his choices for a very l-o-n-g time.

[melcar.group]

I agree that generally weddings are very expensive. There are some items that you can cut on, however overall if he wants a modern wedding it will probaly run him about 15-30,000.

Also, some cultures have different expectations, and some family traditions can be expensive. Not all cultures are able to just get married in a small backyard, or at cityhall.

It is important for him to create a budget, and understand that his choices will have a financial impact on their future. Debt is not a good way to start any marriage.

In my opinion, the most important aspects (above the actual union) of the wedding are:

1. Food
2. Photographer
3. Music
4. Wedding attire

Beyond that, you can cut costs in each category.

[Phenomenal Woman]

Is it possible that your friend may think that some of the costs will be covered by his fiance's family like an old fashion tradition?

[tomer]

He wants to do it on his own, no help from anyone.