Can someone proof read my financial aid appeal letter

[Lakers1]

BpecqNq1

[minnie1928]

Personally, I think the better approach would be to ask them if the aid can be reinstated if certain grades are achieved in the next semester. Show them that you are committed and that you are willing to prove it. While you may have had valid reasons at the time, how do they know that other "valid reasons" will not compromise your grades again?

I don't mean to sound harsh, I really don't....but your letter above makes it sound like you are just passing the blame to your family. Own your decisions, it will make you sound more mature and more serious about what you want to accomplish.

I do like the last paragraph, I would keep that with some minor tweeking to the recommendation I mentioned above.

[Seeker]

I agree with Minnie -- however there are also several things I'd change in the last paragraph too:

[qoute]I am sure that you know what a huge honor and accomplishment it is to obtain a degree.[/quote]

Delete that -- it's about you not them. Don't mix them in. They know, and you know, and they know that you know or you wouldn't be writing any flavor of this.

Education is extremely important to me and I am a student who is very serious about my future. Regardless of my previous poor work ethic, I learned my lesson. I am a mature person and if given a chance, I will display that what I had done in the past academically was not only a mistake, but a mistake that will never be made again.

I'd change to something like this:
Education is extremely important to me, and while I've made mistakes in the past, I can assure and prove that if given a reinstatement of any part of financial aid, I will not allow anything to interfere with my studies again.

My opionion.... but I cringe at the word "mistake." Even recognized mistakes -- don't use the word more than once.

There isn't anything else that I want mroe than to obtain a degree. With all sincerity I ask that I am given another opportunity and not denied any financial assistance. Without this enormous blessing I am unable to attend school.

Again, worded something like so:
At this point, my one goal is to obtain a degree. With all sincerity, I ask that I be given another opportunity and not denied financial assistance. Without financial assistance I would have to postpone these plans and may never be able to finish my education.

To receive my degree is extremely important to me because it would help me obtain a decent career. Therefor, I would humble request this committee to give me one last chance to continue my studies uninterruptedly so that I can prove myself that I have what it takes to follow my dream.

To receive my degree is extremely important to me because it will not only help me to obtain a decent career, it would also help me to contribute to society in a more meaningful manner. Therefore, I do humbly request this committee to allow me one more chance to continue my studies uninterrupted, so that I can earn the accomplishment that a degree represents and pursue my dreams.