Can allowance be fair when you have a spender and a saver

[anonymous_saver]

As long as your financial life is in good standing I see nothing wrong with each having a $50/week to spend on whatever you want (depending on your income level of course, $50/week is a lot of money for some). Do not feel guilty about not spending yours though (and similarly, don't blame your wife for spending hers).

If I were you I would set up an online savings account with your $350 (I would probably tell your wife that you are doing this so it's not a secret). Then you can earn interest on it and spend it whenever you feel like it. Maybe your wife would even consider doing the same with her money.

Do you guys have lots of debt, are you saving adequately for retirement?

[project15]

If I were you I would set up an online savings account with your $350 (I would probably tell your wife that you are doing this so it's not a secret). Then you can earn interest on it and spend it whenever you feel like it. Maybe your wife would even consider doing the same with her money.

Do you guys have lots of debt, are you saving adequately for retirement?

When I've had larger sums of money in the past, I've put it into an online account. I just haven't gotten around to it yet for whatever reason - the $2.10 in interest I would get before spending it within 2 months just isn't really worth it to me.

We have no debt that puts us in a financial bind in our situation. Student Loans (37k @ 2.25%) and Car Loan($9k @ 6.5%) and no CC debt that we don't pay off every month. Please don't turn this into a "you should pay off the car with your extra allowance" thread I'm already making extra payments towards it.

[Gruntina]

I admit.. My husband has a much bigger allowance than I do. But.. I benefit from it though.

He buys more expensive stuff such as electric saw for the wood cutting, plants (He is a plants nut! we are turning our huge yard into a garden landscape) tools and gadgets to improve or fix our home and stuff.

I am reaping the benefit of enjoying a home that just keeps looking better, and love our yards with all these flowers, trees, groundings and everything. We walk around in the yard everyday when we get home from work and enjoy playing in there on the weekends. So I don’t mind one bit that he has more money to go toward these things and I have a smaller allowance in the meantime. At the same time, a lot of my pay goes to retirements and savings and I do not need much spending money on myself so it’s not like I am getting the short end of the stick.

[Seeker]

Thanks for reassuring me guys. I normally do the larger purchase items as said in the original post, it's just that this time, I had a little guilt while thinking about what I wanted to buy. I guess it's because I wasn't sure I wanted to blow my money on something just because I have the money to do so. I'll keep saving it until something "perfect" comes along.

As to lowering the allowance - i've lowered it a bit over the time we've implemented it. She's at the absolute lowest she can go (a gym membership eats some of hers up - yes she uses it). The budget works for us in it's current state and we both agree to it. If I pushed it too much lower, she could decide not to stick to it which would be the worst case scenario.

Hmmmm. This is interesting.

If part of her "mad" money goes for a gym membership -- then I'm not sure that I would agree with what I said earlier.

Certain things are "needs" in life and certain things are "wants." We all need to be healthy, and we all choose different ways of getting the exercise that we need.

I think I would be incorporating this "gym membership" money into the budget. A gym membership is a regular expense, and IMO it should not come at a cost of her "mad" money.

What do you guys think?

[Seeker]

project15, what I would consider to make this fair, is to total the gym membership out of the weekly allowance, and incorporate it into your monthly budget.

Then you can lower both your allowances to 50% of the membership cost each week. For her it'd be a raise and for you it'd be a loss, but the gym membership would be where it belongs.... the monthly budget.

To illustrate, if her gym membership is 10/week or 40/month.... then the weekly allowance would be $40 per week + $5 (50% of the difference). Then lower your allowance down to $45 week as well. The 10$ week gets incorporated into the budget and she has a little more to work with on spending for true "mad" money ways... you have a little less, but it sounds as if you don't really need the whole amount each weekly period either.

You don't save anything this way, but at least she will have a fairer share to spend to her enjoyment. Maybe you will feel less guilty?

By the way, if you golf or do anything for exercise as well, those costs should be part of your monthly budget too.

[maat55]

Then they will argue who's recreation cost more, I know this from experience. I have a golf membership and she reminds me once in a while.

[project15]

I know I said that she uses it, but I guess I retract that statement because that would imply she uses it 3 times a week every week.

She signed up for the gym membership knowing that it would be coming out of her account. She signed up for it without discussing it with me first (this isn't a common thing for a large commitment). The agreement is that if she can go regularly for an extended period of time, then we can fit it into the budget. However, she hasn't been going too regularly (skips a few weeks here and there...only goes 1 time a week, etc...) so it's not part of the budget.

By doing it this way, it prevents me from nagging her to go because it's out of her allowance. Currently, I encourage her to go for her health, but I don't have the right to say that I want to cancel it if she doesn't go more. I wish she would go more because every week that she doesn't go, it's a waste of $10.

I bought a $900 road bike last summer out of my account, so in the end, our workout costs are the same at least during her 2 yr contract with the gym.

[Caoineag]

I do think that "exercise" stuff should stay in the allowance because you can go very cheaply or very expensively. You just need to make sure the allowance has enough room for that. A lot of things are part necessity and part desire (i.e. clothes, hair cuts, etc).

The thing that disturbs me about this post is that you are trying to judge by your standards, the allowance that your wife spends. That is really none of your business. Thats the point of an allowance. I think you need to remember that you could die tomorrow or you could live for a very long time. Both are very possible and should be treated as such. Just try and remember that you should live a little. Even Scrouge realized eventually that money wasn't the end all be all to existence. (And no, I am not just talking to project15 here.)

Note: I realize that this is a savings forum and most people come here to get finances under control but I do think people swing too far the other way as well.

[Seeker]

Guess I sorta view an allowance as personal to the unique individual. Your partner should not be someone you're in competition with.

Who uses the Internet more? Who watches cable TV more (if you have that)? Who buys (fill in the blank) more? This is not a competition -- this should not matter.

To me, an allowance is to be used without questions. If she wanted to take one of her friends to lunch, could she? This is her personal money to use for her personal enjoyment.

Regular expenses should be incorporated into the regular budget... whether or not they are truely his or hers. Maybe this is why you feel a little bit of guilt?

[tifnglen]

OK me and my fiance were talking about allowances...If I want my hair done (once a month) it will be $60...His would be $10 (he really doesnt go that much)so we didnt know if my hair should be included in budget. (I know that we could save more money than thi but I LOVE getting my hair done. I dont really treat myself on anything else). The way we figure we can have a $35 a week allowance but mine would be $20 after my hair.

[jc3900]

OP: I like your style a lot. Save for a while and get something sweet. Don't feel any remorse for being a good saver.

[Snave]

OK me and my fiance were talking about allowances...If I want my hair done (once a month) it will be $60...His would be $10 (he really doesnt go that much)so we didnt know if my hair should be included in budget. (I know that we could save more money than thi but I LOVE getting my hair done. I dont really treat myself on anything else). The way we figure we can have a $35 a week allowance but mine would be $20 after my hair.

We had this discussion as well. Obviously my wife has some more expensive grooming habits than my $8 haircut every 5 weeks. So, we decided to give her a little more. I know some haircut prices are ridiculous and she doesn't do those, but hers are $75 every two months or so. We added a few extra dollars for hers to her "fun money." I didn't have a problem with that b/c it wasn't outrageous.

[nanamom]

I have to say that I agree with the people who advised you to not worry about how each of you spend your allowance. That is why you have them, so you each have money that you are not accountable for. I am the saver in the family, I save half my allowance every month. Some in sharebuilder and some in prosper. I am making money and you bet I will decide how it is spent. I plan on doing this for several years until I have enough to take our kids on a long cool trip. Yes my husband will come, because I choose to spend my money on him. He used to spend all his allowance but I notice that he is saving it more, no not like I am but he still occasionally has some left at the end of the pay period. Don't feel guilty if you buy yourself something out of what you have saved, it is your "mad" money. This is assuming of course that you have a balanced budget before allowances come out.