Need advise. Please help.

[disneysteve]

Do any of you think i should stop contributing to my roth IRA ($100/month), until i get my cc paid off. Or should i contribute this no matter what.

I'd rather see you cut your spending than cut your saving. If you cut back to basic cable (about $10-$15 in most areas), that will save you $60/month right there.

You're spending $50 for internet. Is DSL available where you are? Verizon DSL is free the first month, then $12.99/mo. for 5 months and then $17.99/mo. for the next 6 months. That would save you over $30/month.

Add to that your live-in girlfriend splitting expenses and you will free up $500 or more per month that you can use to get out of debt.

One question about retirement, though. Is there any employer match on the 403b? If so, I would stop the Roth and put that $100 into the 403b instead. If there is no match, it might be better to stop the 403b and put all the money into the Roth.

[jIM_Ohio]

Ok, Ill try and make this short and sweet. Basically, here is the rundown of me and my financial situation....

age: 33
status : single
job : high school teacher/coach
education: masters degree
income: take home = $2,700/month

investments:
Roth IRA : contribute $100/month to a life 2030 retirement fund. (tiaa cref)
403B : contribute $100/month to a life retirement fund (trowe price)

bills:
mortgage: $850
condo fees: $235
student loan: $360
light: $75
tv: $75
cell: $80
internet: $50
car insurance: $90
credit card #1 : $100 (with $5,000 balance)
credit card #2 : $60 (with $1,500 balance)

basically, I just need to know what I can do to knock down my student loan payment ( i have a $60,000 balance). I have consolidated. I am to the point of working for the peace corps to get this paid for. I teach in a school district that i may can get relief from, but im not sure of that yet.

I want to invest more, but my hands are tied. I guess i am going to have to pony up and cut some of my costs (cell phone, tv, internet, etc). Maybe just go with basic tv, basic phone, dialup, etc)

Im working on paying off my cc so i can start saving for an emergency fund, but seems i can only tread water and get no where and it is really frustrating.

anyone in my situation that has dug out?

I dug out of worse situations 3 times from age 23-30

Here is key- keep a long term focus. Not sure what interest rates are are credit cards, but consider getting a third card and transferring balance onto the third card. You should make a bigger dent faster with fewer payments.

In addition, don't worry about balances in the long term investing accounts (the Roth). At age 36 or 37 when the debt is off the table, you can ramp up savings rate (from 3.7% to 15% or 25%). Key is to start saving now, and increase it as budget allows.

what are the interest rates on student loans and credit cards (I have not read responses yet, maybe you answered this already).

[jIM_Ohio]

Paying off credit cards should be priority.

I don't see paying off student loans as a priority ($160/month to IRA is probably better than $160/month to student loans) as far as financial planning is concerned for mid and long term goals.

Teaching is fun. I started my career by teaching adults.

[lovcom]

I imagine you are just being sarcastic. Do you really think there are such people who want to be teachers?

Half sarcasm, half truth. My mother and two sisters are both teachers. They both regret picking that career. It is thankless. It pays crud. They are all living with the idealism of a 21 year old just starting out....but now they are elderly (mom) or middle aged (sisters) all have to live with that idealism of their youth.

My mother told my 19 year daughter to choose a career first and foremost for the money, and 2nd for the "enjoyment". I agree. The problem with people these days is that they confuse "hobby" with "vocation". They think "just find what you love and do it, and the money will follow". Well, this is not real, and if it happens it is because of a coincidence of mixing the right "hobby/special interest" with a high paying vocation.

Sure it's great if one can love their high paying job, and look forward to it, and personally I do. But I think is is flawed to pick a "fun" career that pays squat over a less "fun" career that pays much more, offers more options, that sort of thing.

The problem with teens coming out of high school, out of college is that they waste their time and parents money studying "fun" and "cool" stuff, without first asking the most important question "How will majoring in art, or sociology for example allow me to make money, pull my own weight, be independent, not be a burden to the family/husband/significant other, support future kids, afford the house, car, etc, etc??" And it is the failure to ask and anwer that question correctly that creates lots and lots of art majors that still need mommy and daddy to help them with rent, car pmt, etc at the age of 28.

As to teaching, well it don't pay, and the kids today have little respect for teachers, so I say get out and find something else to earn a living in.

[DebbieL]

I have to kind of wonder about what kind of person this girlfriend is. How can she just not contribute anything while you are paying it all? Is this someone you really want to marry? I'm a woman and I've certainly never expected any kind of free ride in life from a man. What makes you think that asking for nothing from her is being a "nice guy". The word that comes to my mind is "sucker". Do you think it's wrong to expect an adult human being to contribute their fair share? You need to get her paying her half of the bills immediately. If she gives you grief then you should kick her to the curb. Trust me, you don't want to marry someone with those kind of entitlement issues.

[lovcom]

I have to kind of wonder about what kind of person this girlfriend is. How can she just not contribute anything while you are paying it all? Is this someone you really want to marry? I'm a woman and I've certainly never expected any kind of free ride in life from a man. What makes you think that asking for nothing from her is being a "nice guy". The word that comes to my mind is "sucker". Do you think it's wrong to expect an adult human being to contribute their fair share? You need to get her paying her half of the bills immediately. If she gives you grief then you should kick her to the curb. Trust me, you don't want to marry someone with those kind of entitlement issues.

Right On DebbieL!

Nice Guys Finish Last!

I would not expect your GF to contribute to the mortgage, because that is YOUR asset. However, I would expect her to pay for half of the expenses such as utilities, cable, house hold cleaning, general maintenence. Get her to chip in for maintenence, but NEVER for your assets. THose are yours and never put her on the deed even after marriage. Or if you must, wait 10+ years before doing that. I hate to say it, but often people are full of entitlement, and they expect it. I find it troubling that she would allow you to pay for everything....Give her the ultimatum, and mean it...you deserve better ;-)

Did I say, that nice guys finish last? ;-)

[DebbieL]

I would have her pay a portion of the mortgage as rent (just as he would charge ANY roommate, etc.). I see nothing wrong with that. It may be his asset, but he has also assumed all risks for it too (housing is not always an appreciating asset, it could sink like a rock depending on what markets are doing where he lives). I would expect to pay something for my keep whether it was a boyfriend or a roommate situation I was in. Who cares if it's helping him with his mortgage? Most people paying rent are helping someone with a mortgage. That's a fact of life. You need a roof over your head whether you are paying rent or a mortgage.

PS - If she has a problem with you asking for her half of living expenses I would run like the wind away from her.

[disneysteve]

The problem with teens coming out of high school, out of college is that they waste their time and parents money studying "fun" and "cool" stuff, without first asking the most important question "How will majoring in art, or sociology for example allow me to make money, pull my own weight, be independent, not be a burden to the family/husband/significant other, support future kids, afford the house, car, etc, etc??"

I think there is a lot of truth to that, unfortunately, not specifically in regard to teaching but in general. We see a lot of posts here from people who owe 50K or 70K in student loans and have jobs where they are earning only 40K and aren't likely to see that increase much.

If you want to go into a relatively low-paying career, I have absolutely no problem with that. We need teachers. We need social workers. We need municipal workers and retail managers and medical assistants and other not-so-well-paid people. But don't go get a high-priced education and rack up tens of thousands in debt in the process. Go to community college. Go to a good state school. Graduate debt-free or with as little debt as possible, because your chosen career just won't provide the means to repay 70K in loans.

[disneysteve]

I would have her pay a portion of the mortgage as rent

PS - If she has a problem with you asking for her half of living expenses I would run like the wind away from her.

I agree 100% with both. Half might not be appropriate depending on her income situation but she should be contributing a substantial amount. She shouldn't expect to live for free, nor should she be allowed to.

[Scanner]

Another thing to add. . .just becaue your child is majoring in sociology or art, doesn't mean they will be a social worker or an artist in NYC trying to eek out a living.

The sociology major could be working Human Resources somewhere and the artist is heading up Graphic Design somewhere or even just managing an inventory.

They did a study that followed college majors and found that only 90% of them were working in their original major.

It appears the BA/BS is more important than the actual major.

But I agree - if you are aiming for what is known as a low paid profession, you'll have to tool your education accordingly, esp. nowadays.

[lovcom]

I would have her pay a portion of the mortgage as rent (just as he would charge ANY roommate, etc.). I see nothing wrong with that. It may be his asset, but he has also assumed all risks for it too (housing is not always an appreciating asset, it could sink like a rock depending on what markets are doing where he lives). I would expect to pay something for my keep whether it was a boyfriend or a roommate situation I was in. Who cares if it's helping him with his mortgage? Most people paying rent are helping someone with a mortgage. That's a fact of life. You need a roof over your head whether you are paying rent or a mortgage.

PS - If she has a problem with you asking for her half of living expenses I would run like the wind away from her.

I think helping to pay his mortage and paying rent are two very different things. She must not pay for his asset. However she should pay rent. You may not think there is no difference but there is. Years from how she might have legal reason to claim equity in the house, and given common law marriage issues, he would be stupid to ask her to help pay the mortgage. Better for his safety if she pays rent. It may seem like the money would go toward the same things, but that is no matter. What matters is the answer to the question: What is she paying? If the answer is rent then I see little or no vulnerability to him down the road. If the answer is to help pay the mortage, then I see all kinds of problems shoud the relationship go sour.

[jIM_Ohio]

tough issue- combining finances with a live in significant other. It is not so simple as to "ask", "suggest" or "demand" payment. One person's suggestion is another person's demand.

I lived with my wife for about 2 or 3 years before we got married. When I was in my apartment the accounts were seperate and I asked for money because she liked spending mine. But I still had little control over her paying $40 to get her nails done every 3 weeks, or paying for lots of extra things. Clothes, vacations and gifts in particular come to mind.

We moved to a condo and she kept her bank accounts hers and we still had issues because she did not write checks on a regular basis. A few months before we got married she agreed to deposit her checks into my accounts, and we added her name to them. That was not easy, and she spent some money which she did not always understand why I got upset when we get a 1500 tax refund and it's gone (poof) from the account 3 months later. refinanced and got an extra $2000 in the account (because first month is free) and poof money is spent 3 months later.

We moved to another house and changed the budget a few times. There are still issues with spending.

What you are being advised to do by many here is a good theory. But tread lightly. If you value the friendship, this will test it. Ask SO for ideas on how to contribute.

[DebbieL]

I think helping to pay his mortage and paying rent are two very different things. She must not pay for his asset. However she should pay rent. You may not think there is no difference but there is. Years from how she might have legal reason to claim equity in the house, and given common law marriage issues, he would be stupid to ask her to help pay the mortgage. Better for his safety if she pays rent. It may seem like the money would go toward the same things, but that is no matter. What matters is the answer to the question: What is she paying? If the answer is rent then I see little or no vulnerability to him down the road. If the answer is to help pay the mortage, then I see all kinds of problems shoud the relationship go sour.

Call it rent then. That's all I meant. If her name isn't on the mortage that's what it is. Rent. Same as if he took on a roommate. She writes him a check for her half of the living expenses - call it whatever. She's not on the mortgage.

[DebbieL]

tough issue- combining finances with a live in significant other. It is not so simple as to "ask", "suggest" or "demand" payment. One person's suggestion is another person's demand.

I lived with my wife for about 2 or 3 years before we got married. When I was in my apartment the accounts were seperate and I asked for money because she liked spending mine. But I still had little control over her paying $40 to get her nails done every 3 weeks, or paying for lots of extra things. Clothes, vacations and gifts in particular come to mind.

We moved to a condo and she kept her bank accounts hers and we still had issues because she did not write checks on a regular basis. A few months before we got married she agreed to deposit her checks into my accounts, and we added her name to them. That was not easy, and she spent some money which she did not always understand why I got upset when we get a 1500 tax refund and it's gone (poof) from the account 3 months later. refinanced and got an extra $2000 in the account (because first month is free) and poof money is spent 3 months later.

We moved to another house and changed the budget a few times. There are still issues with spending.

What you are being advised to do by many here is a good theory. But tread lightly. If you value the friendship, this will test it. Ask SO for ideas on how to contribute.

So far, SO's idea has been not to contribute. I think he has to tell her how it's got to be - if not she can hit the road and move onto the next sucker - I mean SO.

[lovcom]

tough issue- combining finances with a live in significant other. It is not so simple as to "ask", "suggest" or "demand" payment. One person's suggestion is another person's demand.

I lived with my wife for about 2 or 3 years before we got married. When I was in my apartment the accounts were seperate and I asked for money because she liked spending mine. But I still had little control over her paying $40 to get her nails done every 3 weeks, or paying for lots of extra things. Clothes, vacations and gifts in particular come to mind.

We moved to a condo and she kept her bank accounts hers and we still had issues because she did not write checks on a regular basis. A few months before we got married she agreed to deposit her checks into my accounts, and we added her name to them. That was not easy, and she spent some money which she did not always understand why I got upset when we get a 1500 tax refund and it's gone (poof) from the account 3 months later. refinanced and got an extra $2000 in the account (because first month is free) and poof money is spent 3 months later.

We moved to another house and changed the budget a few times. There are still issues with spending.

What you are being advised to do by many here is a good theory. But tread lightly. If you value the friendship, this will test it. Ask SO for ideas on how to contribute.

If the original poster has to tread lightly with his GF, then this may suggest that she is morally not good enough for him. And if his demand, and yes I mean demand, causes the GF to get upset, or leave, then this only proves just how immoral she is, and he should be glad to move his relationship with her to it's logical conclusion: bye-bye. He will show weakness, and spinelessness if he "treads lightly", sending the wrong signal to her.

The question of whether he values his relationship with the GR is the wrong question. The better question is: "Will the GF respect his rightful, fair, and morally good demand to pay the money?". If she leaves, then good riddens, yea?

People mistreat others because they're allowed to.

I was married twice. And in both occassions, my wives would agree to a particular savings plan, then out of the blue, days or weeks or months later, $8,500 gone! $2,500 gone! Now we're talking integrity issues, of the type that warrants divorce. Because if a relationship has no bases in integrity, then it has nothing, yea?