Need advice, and a different perspective on my finances

[ifonlyIknew]

Edited-

Thanks for the advice. My story had too much specific info. for me to feel comfortable leaving it posted for too long. I appreciate the input.

[Broken Arrow]

NOBODY I've read so far suggests that the economic outlook is going to be roaring back anytime soon. Some are fairly optimistic and believe things will continue to hum along at its current (sluggish) pace. At best, some believe things may even rebound a bit by some time next year....

So, if I was in your situation, I would sell off what I can as soon as possible. Even if you don't make any profit, at least it would decrease your monthly debt burden.

[jIM_Ohio]

The first thing to do when in a hole is to STOP DIGGING.

I think the primary problem is cash flow (too many payments, not enough income).

I think the second problem is trust between husband and yourself.

To improve cash flow, unload all 3 properties now. Take a loss if needed.
Next step, pay off the debt ($60,000 credit card, plus any losses on flips).

You should not need to sell your house. Both of you should keep working. Pay off the debt- maybe get a second job (I work two jobs and my second job alone would pay down 60k in about 3 years). Get cash flow in correct spot.

Make sure both you and husband agree on strategy or the marriage problems will become more serious than the financial ones.

[disneysteve]

The first thing to do when in a hole is to STOP DIGGING.

Totally agree. You can't afford to keep the investment properties, especially if they are vacant, which it sounds like they are. You've got $310,000 in debt plus your primary mortgage. You need to bail out. Sell everything you can sell so that you don't lose your own home.

I agree with working more to increase income.

And forget this "my money" and "his money" concept. You're married. You're a team. It is all "our money." What one does directly affects the other.

[Knows Money]

Definitely forget the "his money, my money" thing. Usually, there is something behind the way we spend our money so some good sit down conversations about money together can reveal somethings. Write it down. Sell those properties now while you can possibly break even. The market is only going to get better for buyers at this point and those buyers are going to continue to hold out while people (many in your position) either lose their homes or have to sell them dirt cheap. A second job, selling some items like college text books, CDs, clothes, work at a community center, front desk/receptionist, something that won't tire you out while you get out of this debt.

The conversation has to be had about BOTH your feelings regarding the family finances. Definitely assess the situation together and assess where you want to be next year regarding this situation. This will put the marriage on the same path.

[ifonlyIknew]

Thanks for the feedback.

[Broken Arrow]

Just wanted to add something real quick:

I wouldn't worry too much about the "his money, her money" thing. How you technically manage your finances isn't the problem, and given your situation, it's perfectly understandable split your finances.

Rather, I believe the problem is that the two of you are not on the same page, and in that sense, I do agree with the others. There has to be a "we're all in this together so let's work on this together" mentality. Otherwise, no amount of change in your financial infrastructure is going to help in the end.

I too advocate to find some way, some how, to get on the same page through transparency, communication, and compromise. Good luck!