Why and how do spending ratios change?

[PauletteGoddard]

Funny but my wife and I tend to be just the opposite. When we watch the news and hear that the majority of Americans are doing whatever, and we don't, we wonder what the heck is wrong with all those people.

I wonder if you and your wife were born in the U.S.--I wasn't. When immigrants go to a new country, they tend to watch the natives to see how things are done. Maybe I shouldn't beat myself up for being stupid when I see the natives do things I don't understand: could be historical cultural baggage on both sides holding me back from comprehension, could be my obstinate insistence on long-term planning and personal lack of the national characteristics of optimism and faith. I've asked my American husband, and he just says "people are stupid everywhere" and "don't expect to understand everything we do. I don't understand why we are the way we are."

Which is why I love the SavingAdvice forums and the blogs: the individual posters and commenters here are pursuing life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness but aren't doing it the way entities funding corporate mass media would have them do it: in eternal servitude and hive-mindedness. People here are more inner-directed and calculating (in a good way).

[disneysteve]

I wonder if you and your wife were born in the U.S.--I wasn't. When immigrants go to a new country, they tend to watch the natives to see how things are done. Maybe I shouldn't beat myself up for being stupid when I see the natives do things I don't understand:

my American husband, and he just says "people are stupid everywhere" and "don't expect to understand everything we do. I don't understand why we are the way we are."

That's really interesting. Yes, we were born here so maybe that's why we don't look to the majority to see what we ought to be doing. More often than not, I look at the majority and wonder where this country is heading.

I love your husband's point of view - "people are stupid everywhere." I've said the same thing many, many times.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

How interesting that you brought up the question of immigrant vs native born. When I read your blog today, PG, one of the things it spurred me to think about was the perspective of an immigrant. I wondered how much of your "open eyes" might be due to feeling like you really needed to watch out for how things work in order to make sure your got it right in a system that you probably understand better than you give yourself credit for, but will always be wary about. (I'm thinking about the immigrant perspective often these days since there are so many more immigrants in my life than ever before.)

The perspective of immigrants can help keep me humble. I probably give myself too much credit for going against the grain, for deliberately not participating in the herd mentality. But then some of my immigrant friends will reveal to me how much further I could go in my independence, in my willingness not to be drawn into the current ultra-consuming way of life. Funny thing is, I know some of them hope to get to an ultra consuming way of life, but they understand they will do that after they have plenty of extra money, not before. Some of these folks come from poverty, some from what is middle class in their country. They live well, now I would say. Comfortable homes, but simple and not cluttered to the hilt with crap. There really is a big difference in their homes and homes of many others I know.

Earlier this year I was telling some immigrant friends about downpayments and mortgages. I'm sure I didn't repeat a rule of thumb about income to purchase price ratios, but I surely did tell them what percentage the lenders will say they need as down payment in order to get the best rates. They decided they are a few months shy of buying since they want a really good rate. They read financial sites on the internet like crazy trying to figure it all out. This particular couple is from a totally different sort of economic system. I think their desire to survive and thrive causes them to learn and make more informed decisions more than the average native born person. I really do. I think they are becoming quite savvy.

Uhm, I do tip 15% and I never thought about doing otherwise. Never wondered why 15% should be the magic number. Thanks for getting me to open my eyes....I don't even remember the days when 10% was a standard restaurant tip, though I surely must be old enough. I think my eating out back then wasn't really a possibility, so it wasn't something I ever thought about.

[PrincessPerky]

Uhm, I do tip 15% and I never thought about doing otherwise. Never wondered why 15% should be the magic number. Thanks for getting me to open my eyes....I don't even remember the days when 10% was a standard restaurant tip, though I surely must be old enough. I think my eating out back then wasn't really a possibility, so it wasn't something I ever thought about.

I was a waitress when that was standard...It was good enough for me then, is good enough for me now.