Warning for Men - Must Read

[Well Spent]

Till Death Do Us Pay - Boston Magazine

[FamilyPapi]

Ouch...I thought New Jersey law was not fair - what's going on up in Mass.? Anyway, at least he sees the light at end of the tunnel and is doing something about it.
I have forwarded to a buddy who's getting married soon there...

[irmanator]

I wonder if a pre-nup would have eliminated this problem. Being from NY I have no idea of this unfair situation.

[asmom]

There should be a provision that states that if the husband's income is reduced then the ex-wife's alimony is proportionally reduced just as it would be if they were still married. Otherwise, if you make a deal with someone that they will stay home and take care of the household and suport you in your business and you will take care of them and provide for them including in their retirement, you can't change your mind later and then cry foul when you are held to your end of the bargain.

I can't bring myself to shed a tear for this guy just yet. The article doesn't tell us who quit the marriage. If he left, then he needs to pay just as I stated above. If she left then, it is as if she left a job and she no longer gets her "pay" i.e. alimony. I am speaking of long marriages here in which the wife has not worked outside the home for >20 years. I do feel that for marriages that last for less than that amount of time, alimony payments should be time-limited and gradually lessened so as to allow the left behind spouse an opportunity to get reacclimated and/or re-educated to the workforce.

[frito833]

LOL. I will never live or get married in Mass. From what I got from the article, he married a princess. Therefore, princess wants to sustain her lifestyle and will do whatever it takes sustain that and used the system to do it. So in reality, he dug his own grave.

I'm just playing devil's advocate here but why should she marry someone else or work when she can get early retirement for life.

This alimony for life needs to go.

[Goldy1]

I wonder if men ever get alimony. I haven't yet read the article but it was only a year or so for a woman I knew. Not bad considering she was the cheater.

[blankcheck]

I wonder if men ever get alimony.

Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer: The system has a natural bias in most places, because there is a natural bias in more places. For example, it is uncommon that two spouses will make the same amount of money, so the one who makes more will end up paying alimony. We all know of the historical gap in female earnings compared to men.
Then, in the case of someone staying at home, that is also more often the woman in a marriage. So that person has NO income; you might as well have your checkbook in hand at the court.

Having said that, this is NOT gender exclusive; if there is evidence of an income difference in the other direction, then a man can get financial support; however, this usually becomes tied up in who gains custody of children, and therefore child support etc.

I think more lawyers should take into account the logistical parts of a divorce, and not just the financial settlement (there are plenty of comedian jokes about this). But really, If one spouse gets to claim a certain lifestyle supplemental payment, then the other provider has just as much a right to non-financial supplemental payments. If enough people did that, thet the backlog alone might limit the alimony awarded (or rather, the aggressive nature with which it is sought).

[PetMom]

Yes, pay attention to a would be spouse's lifestyle - someday during and (hopefully not) after the marriage you might be paying for it.

[Well Spent]

In Mass., men can't afford to marry and women can't afford not to apparently. Couples should just live together withOUT a license because there's no way around supporting kids financially and there's no reason to pay a salary to an ex-spouse.