Why young adults feel so entitled

[Fern]

Moving On - WSJ.com

[Ima saver]

Interesting article, fern.

[pearlieq]

I actually found this article frustrating and even somewhat offensive.

I definitley take umbrage at belittling and maligning the work of one of the world's kindest men, who was a very effective educator and minister, just for the sake of a salacious sound bite "Blame it on Mr. Rogers". That bugs. A lot.

If your kid is a cretin, you can't blame a show on PBS. I think the desire to do that is probably a lot closer to why some people think young adults have an overgrown sense of entitlement.

It couldn't possibly be that their parents made some bad parenting decisions--no, it's the fault of a TV show that featured a song reassuring kids they wouldn't go down the drain in the bathtub. Silly molly-coddlers. In my day, kids lived in fear of drowning and we liked it that way!

I'm also not sure I'm ready to write off this generation of young adults as being any more unsavory as any that came before them. I'm sure the same was said about my generation and my parents' before us.

I agree that maybe we've gotten too child-focused. And I sure know some kids who are overindulged. But I can't see blaming a TV show, and to even suggest that as a cutesy gimmick for a newspaper article insults the memory and legacy of a really good person.

[PrincessPerky]

While I do agree that many parents (and professionals) encourage allowing kids to misbehave and hand out As just to make them feel better I believe that was nearly opposite to what Mr Rogers tried to promote.

Mr Rodgers didn't say you deserve an A no matter what, he said he liked you no matter what. He didn't say you would get a great job with a lousy schooling, he said he would like you regardless of your financial status.

I don't tell my kids they are A students unless they are, but I do tell them they are special regardless of grades...And regardless of behavior I love them.

But then I also will not tolerate some behaviors I see regularly occurring in my peers kids....I love 'em, and because I love them I will not allow them to continue in the selfish natural bent of childhood. Lots of play yes, lots of snatching, selfishness, hoarding, ect, never.

[Broken Arrow]

Since others have raise the objections that I had thought, I'll move to the next question, which I believe I am entitled to feel is more important.

I wonder if I feel entitled? Or perhaps more accurately, how entitled do I feel? Is it within or over a healthy limit?

I do feel entitled to some extent. I feel entitled to my own belief in myself. Not necessarily that I am special, but at least that I am "someone". That and I am entitled to my own thoughts and feelings, right?

What about more than that? One of the many observations I've made during my divorce was that my ex felt entitled to be happy. That seems harmless right? For years, I thought it was harmless. But then, happiness came to mean having certain things when she wanted it, even if we couldn't afford it at that point in time.

Not that I am knocking my ex for that, because I did the same. I don't know, it's very confusing. Perhaps there's an element here that, depending on how things are interpreted, it can also be misshapen or something like that. I'm just tired, rambling late at night again.

I would like to be a better person though; one that doesn't feel entitled to things that I should not be have entitlement for.

[poundwise]

I think some valid points were made but the premise is faulty. Mr. Rogers is not to blame in any manner of speaking; even editorial or satirical.

And I don't see that an inflated sense of entitlement is limited to young people in this day and age anyway. In fact, I would think that the main source of such in young people is what they have learned from their parents, etc.

[getforfree]

Not only young people feel like they are entitled to certain things. I see lots of old people, probably retiered, feel like they are entitled to lots of things just because they are old, not because they accomplished something or did a good deed, but just because they are old, and being old is the only thing they accmplished. I just can't stand that.

That makes me really mad when they think, they are entitled to not wait in line, get seniors discounts, like other people have more time on their hand ( while young people spend a whole day at work or caring for their family, old people take 10 naps a day and complain they are busy). They fell like you have to listen to them and talk to them just because they are bored and you are buzy as a bee. Most of them are very selfish.

I am not even talking about that they demand extra respect. For what? Only because they are old, and that's it. There is nothing to say about most of them. While we have to pay social security tax for them, and will never get it back, so we also have to save about the same amount for our own retirement. I could go on and on....

[sweeps]

Hasn't this been going on since the beginning of time... The whole "kids nowadays aren't (fill in the blank) like we were as kids."

I don't think kids and teenagers are the only ones guilty of narcissism in today's world.

[Cassandra]

This reminds me of an author (I can't remember his name) who wrote that the worst TV show for kids to watch was Sesame Street.

Why?

Because it apparently taught them to hate school.

Yes, I see a lot of kids my age (18) that feel entitled to get everything. From getting into that Ivy league to the newest Macy's line...but they learn this from their parents. At school gatherings I would watch the parents and they behaved exactly the same way their child did...it was like watching my what my 20th reunion would be like.

Pawning this off on Mr. Roger is not taking responsibility for the fact that you might have screwed up and that is something your children will remember and copy.

Cassandra

[PrincessPerky]

A thankful heart is a happy heart....
I'm glad for what I have,
that's an easy way to start

A kids song that I need just as much as they do.

[Coleroo]

I loved Mr Rogers... grew up watching him, and cried when he died (Im 24). So anyone who takes a dig at him gets me annoyed.

I think the author should look at the cultural changes surrounding Mr Rogers era - the converstion to non-segregation and the women's rights movements (late 60s), hippies, drugs, "free love", woman's movement in the workforce, the latchkey kids of the 80s, the rise of daycare use in the 90s, the slow conversion to two income families, the breakdown of traditional family roles... kids during the 70s, 80s, and 90s didnt know WHO they were NOR their place in the world. Many kids who watched Mr Rogers in the 80s and early 90s did so ALONE because their parents were out earning money to buy "luxuries" or because of the ease of divorce left them in single working parenthood. He gave many many kids self confidence, and showed them that there WAS love left in the world.

Today's "me" generation is far more a product of absentee parenting and the rise of materialism than it is a kind elderly man who cared about people and played with puppets. hrmph.

[rob62521]

I think the article has some merit. Maybe not blaming Mr. Rogers for everything, but the fact that parents never get over the idea that their kid is so special and therefore entitled to this and that. And, it's not just kids. I worked with a woman who felt that everything should go the way she wanted it and if not, watch out. Very few people accept responsibility for themselves or their actions...there is always an excuse.

[LuckyRobin]

Personally, I think the entitlement issue goes back to 1980-81 when they changed the child labor laws. Not that some things didn't need to be changed, but it was utterly ridiculous to say children under age 12 could not work in the fields unless they were farmer's kids. You can't start teaching a kid a good work ethic at age 12. It needs to start much sooner than that.

I worked in the berry fields from the time I was four years old, and before that my mother (who had summers off as a teacher and worked with us girls) hauled me along behind her in a little red wagon while my sisters picked in the adjoining row. Okay, the first few years I didn't make very much money, but I was proud of what I made and I realized right then the effort required for the amount of money I earned. You can't teach that at 12, it is far too late.

Every year I was very proud of what I bought myself with my own money because I had worked really hard to get it. I still have the ten speed I bought with my berry money and it is in excellent condition. Nowadays? You can't babysit until you are 11 or 12 AND responsible (which is a good thing, just mean its one of the first jobs you can get as a kid), you can't get a fast food counter job until you are 14, and you can't do any full time work or be in the kitchen until you are sixteen.

The difference between me and my friends who worked young and my friends and peers who did not work young or at all until they were adults, was enormous. I know some people who never had a job until they graduated from college and then wondered why no one was handing them the perfect high paying job on a silver platter. Work their way up? What was that? Work experience of any sort? Huh? References? You mean someone else has to tell then you're good? Why can't they take your word for it?

Not having grades in elementary school bothers me a lot, too. I think by the 3rd grade kids should be get more than a plus, a minus, or a check mark. Especially with the work they do getting ready for the WASL or whatever test your state has. Tell me my kid is getting a B, I know where they are at, between 80 and 90% of getting stuff right, tell me they are getting a check mark, and I'm not really aware of what that means, other than performing at grade level. For me, performing at grade level was a C, 70 to 80%. That's not good. It's not horrible, but it's not good and I would know what to do to help my kids improve. But no, for them a check isn't 70 to 80%.

I think it does the kids a disservice not to give them percentages or letter grades, because all of a sudden when they get to the junior high they are smacked with them. It doesn't teach kids to strive for the A or the B when they know they'll be passed to the next grade by performing at grade level. They aren't really working hard for it, and they feel they do enough to entitle them to the next grade. Just annoys me to know end.

Sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent there.

[Fern]

Not only young people feel like they are entitled to certain things. I see lots of old people, probably retiered, feel like they are entitled to lots of things just because they are old, not because they accomplished something or did a good deed, but just because they are old, and being old is the only thing they accmplished. I just can't stand that.

That makes me really mad when they think, they are entitled to not wait in line, get seniors discounts, like other people have more time on their hand ( while young people spend a whole day at work or caring for their family, old people take 10 naps a day and complain they are busy). They fell like you have to listen to them and talk to them just because they are bored and you are buzy as a bee. Most of them are very selfish.

I am not even talking about that they demand extra respect. For what? Only because they are old, and that's it. There is nothing to say about most of them. While we have to pay social security tax for them, and will never get it back, so we also have to save about the same amount for our own retirement. I could go on and on....

Sounds like you have a real chip on your shoulder about this. I do think seniors deserve some extra deference and respect if only becus they have made it this far and are now frail and vulnerable in a way that young people aren't. I think your views will change when you become a senior some day.

[Fern]

As for Mr. Rogers, I think that show is only reflective of current mores and values in our society, not in itself the creator of self-centered children, which some might say has now become a little unbalanced in favor of coddling children. A trend maybe started with the high divorce rate in this country and guilty parents trying to buy their children's affection becus they couldn't make the marriage work.