A new plan?

[skylovessea]

I'm having some trouble wrapping my head around some things. My previous post was about being overwhelmed, and I'm beginning to get past that, but then new things pop into my head and it becomes troublesome again.

Here is a little back story.
I am young--19 (as much as I hate to admit it, because people tend to look at me like I'm a child. Yes, technically I guess I am, but I'm more mature than most my age.)
I am married and have a one year old son.
My husband and I are currently in $14,000 of debt.
Our income is low.
We get food stamps.
We live in a horribly small apartment in a small Tennessee town.
I am a college student.

Here is my dilemma. We are working on the Total Money Makeover (slowly but surely, as we get used to new surroundings and different income)

I'm going to be honest. I don't want to live in an apartment forever. I want to buy another (bigger) car to accommodate my family and our need for a roomier vehicle. I want to be a real adult, a real family, in a real house, with a real car (that isn't a piece.)

But I don't even know where to start. My husband is transitioning between jobs now so our income is close to nothing. We are getting a $3500 tax refund, which will jump start our debt-clearing journey. (And maybe buy us a coffee table, lol)

I just cannot straighten my thoughts out anymore. Should I create a five year plan? Or even a one year plan? I know I should have planned better in the beginning but I couldn't wait to get married and start a family. It seemed to be my calling. So now I'm in a rut.

Any advice? I'm such an airhead when it comes to this stuff. I get too wrapped up in it and then I'm stuck.

[jIM_Ohio]

I'm having some trouble wrapping my head around some things. My previous post was about being overwhelmed, and I'm beginning to get past that, but then new things pop into my head and it becomes troublesome again.

Here is a little back story.
I am young--19 (as much as I hate to admit it, because people tend to look at me like I'm a child. Yes, technically I guess I am, but I'm more mature than most my age.)
I am married and have a one year old son.
My husband and I are currently in $14,000 of debt.
Our income is low.
We get food stamps.
We live in a horribly small apartment in a small Tennessee town.
I am a college student.

Here is my dilemma. We are working on the Total Money Makeover (slowly but surely, as we get used to new surroundings and different income)

I'm going to be honest. I don't want to live in an apartment forever. I want to buy another (bigger) car to accommodate my family and our need for a roomier vehicle. I want to be a real adult, a real family, in a real house, with a real car (that isn't a piece.)

But I don't even know where to start. My husband is transitioning between jobs now so our income is close to nothing. We are getting a $3500 tax refund, which will jump start our debt-clearing journey. (And maybe buy us a coffee table, lol)

I just cannot straighten my thoughts out anymore. Should I create a five year plan? Or even a one year plan? I know I should have planned better in the beginning but I couldn't wait to get married and start a family. It seemed to be my calling. So now I'm in a rut.

Any advice? I'm such an airhead when it comes to this stuff. I get too wrapped up in it and then I'm stuck.

Post a list of monthly expenses.
Post your gross and take home income
Post all the debts which make up the 12k you owe with payments, interest rates, and total balance

Each of the above is a different issue- meaning expenses, income and debts each have ways to be optimized without affecting the other 2 categories.

[disneysteve]

I agree with Jim. We need to see the details to give advice.

As for "I want to be a real adult, a real family, in a real house, with a real car", I think that's all self-perception. You are a family. You have a home. You own a car. It's all real. That's far more than many people have at the age of 19. I was 28 when I got married. I was nearly 30 when we bought our house and 31 when our daughter was born. Be patient.

[Scanner]

Agree with DS - it's okay to have goals. It's even desirable but don't discount what you have.

The illusion of that a real family (I guess that means a boy and a girl and a mom and dad) with a real car (a minivan? why do you need a larger car? a simple 4 door sedan should be fine with 2 adults and a child) with a real home (with real taxes) is just that - an illusion that those things will bring you happiness and the feeling of maturity you are seeking.

I know maybe that's easy for me to say when I have all of that but I want to share somethign with you - there are many times I long for a simple mobile home (lol - double wide) in a little adjacent beach town down the NJ shore. So how about that? I am a professional and I want a double wide trailer, as much as that lifestyle is made fun of in America.

Homes and cars are a lot of work and responsibility and it wears on you.

You are 19 - it's okay to be in an apartment.

[wincrasher]

Impatience is what got them into their situation in the first place.

A baby at 18? Are you kidding me!?

But what's done is done, I guess.

From the posts I've read, they are not ready or able to be out on their own yet - the smart move would be to live with one set of parents or the other until they have enough saved to make a decent home.

A husband who quits his job because of "ethical problems" when he has a wife and baby at home, no money, can't pay the rent, etc.? Are you kidding me!?

Having to rely on public assistance, food stamps, whatever when his family is supposedly all wealthy or well-off? Makes me want to say really mean things.

[creditcardfree]

It's okay to have goals and a one year plan or 5 year plan, but make sure they are realistic given your income. Things will change as you graduate, and gain additional work experience. Generally, they change for the better. It is important to be patient.

How about make a list of goals...just to get it out of your head. They put that paper aside. Don't look at it again, until you reach your first goal.

Right now your goals should be getting current with bills, building a small emergency fund ($500), paying off debt as you can and graduating. As these goals come to an end start revising your goals for the future. Best wishes!

[skylovessea]

Impatience is what got them into their situation in the first place.

A baby at 18? Are you kidding me!?

But what's done is done, I guess.

From the posts I've read, they are not ready or able to be out on their own yet - the smart move would be to live with one set of parents or the other until they have enough saved to make a decent home.

A husband who quits his job because of "ethical problems" when he has a wife and baby at home, no money, can't pay the rent, etc.? Are you kidding me!?

Having to rely on public assistance, food stamps, whatever when his family is supposedly all wealthy or well-off? Makes me want to say really mean things.

Okay I'm going to be honest. This is probably the rudest thing I've had someone say about me in quite a while. How dare you judge my life based on the fact that I am young. We are completely capable of handling ourselves. This is what we wanted. Yes we are going through rough times, but who hasn't? It's hard for ANYONE to get married and have a child. It's a huge life change. Just because we are younger than society's "accepted standard" does not mean we should be looked down upon as you just did.

Yes, my husband quit his job because he worked for a company that conned people out of money, forced them out of homes, and contributed to the horrible economy of this country. We lived for THREE months without income and we did fine. We have the support of family and friends, and we are actually smart with our choices. We've grown up a lot since we got married and we make nothing but good choices now.

And we have a roof over our heads because we have a very understanding landlord who is letting us pay some rent in advance when we get our taxes back because she knows we are going through a rough patch. My husband wouldn't have made enough to pay rent between now and the start of his new job anyway.

We are okay living with food stamps. That's why it's there. You cannot tell me that you've always had it easy. Yes, his parents are well off, but they aren't going to live our life for us and pay our bills. That's not why they are there. We made a decision and now we are living our life based on that. I don't see a problem with it.

And don't worry about "wanting to say mean things" because you already did. Thanks for your compassion. It's greatly appreciated.

(Sorry to everyone else for having to read something powered by so much anger on my part but I said what had to be said. I don't appreciate people bashing me for my age and my life choices.)

[skylovessea]

Post a list of monthly expenses.
Post your gross and take home income
Post all the debts which make up the 12k you owe with payments, interest rates, and total balance

Expenses:

Rent $410
Utilities $70
Gas (as needed, generally not a lot-we walk as much as possible)
Phone (prepaid, as needed)
Baby items (generally bought with gift cards from friends and family, or $20 monthly)

Income:

Friday we will receive about $200 or less depending on taxes
New job starts on Feb. 23rd and he will be making $9 per hour 40 hours per week
Taxes are coming back between now and Feb. 24th, $3500

Debts can be found here: http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/d...ollection.html

[disneysteve]

A husband who quits his job because of "ethical problems" when he has a wife and baby at home, no money, can't pay the rent, etc.? Are you kidding me!?

Having to rely on public assistance, food stamps, whatever when his family is supposedly all wealthy or well-off?

Would you suggest that someone should stay at a job where unethical stuff was going on? If I found out shady stuff was going on where I worked, I'd get out as soon as I could so that I couldn't be implicated in any wrong doing.

As for his family being well-off, that's of zero significance if they aren't supporting him. I have a few friends whose parents are pretty well-off but they (my friends) are expected to make their own way in life. They don't get money from their parents. They have what they earn themselves. If they screw up, they have to clean up the mess themselves. Their parents don't bail them out.

[skylovessea]

Would you suggest that someone should stay at a job where unethical stuff was going on? If I found out shady stuff was going on where I worked, I'd get out as soon as I could so that I couldn't be implicated in any wrong doing.

As for his family being well-off, that's of zero significance if they aren't supporting him. I have a few friends whose parents are pretty well-off but they (my friends) are expected to make their own way in life. They don't get money from their parents. They have what they earn themselves. If they screw up, they have to clean up the mess themselves. Their parents don't bail them out.

Thank you. I was shocked that they saw that as a problem. I don't understand how anyone could stay in a job where they are doing damage like that to innocent people. Especially because my parents are losing their house because of people like that. My husband couldn't imagine being one of those people.

And thank you, again, for seconding that. No parent is responsible for their child once they are on their own (with some extreme exceptions of course). My husband can't just call his parents every time we have a problem. It wouldn't make any sense.

[zakity]

Um, skip the coffee table for a few years. With a small child, coffee table are like magnets for their little heads. It will save you the cost of stitches.

[minnie1928]

I agree with Steve's comments above. However, this is a chat board where anyone and everyone can post their opinion. Some you will agree with and some you will not, that's the nature of the beast. Please don't get me wrong, I don't agree with what was said...but you have to be prepared that you might get answers like this on occasion.

Now, back to the original topic. I think you probably have a better head on your shoulders than a lot of 19 year olds. You are actually planning a future for your family! That's more than most!

I would create a detailed one year plan and a broader 5 year plan. If 1 year is too difficult, then maybe 6 months would be better. You want to create a plan that you can be successful with, regardless of the term. If you set up a plan that is sooo difficult to achieve, it will turn against you. You need to set yourself up for success! Once you've tasted that success it will fuel you to meet your next goal.

And contrary to what you think, you are a real adult with a real family with a real home. It really doesn't matter what others think, it's what you think about yourself that matters. I don't buy the latest things/clothes/toys/cars, but I could afford to. I have tshirts that I still wear that are 18 years old (and yes, they still look good). I don't feel the need to be "approved" by strangers. What makes me feel good is knowing that because of the choices my husband and I have made, we have the financial freedom to do the things that are important to us. The other stuff doesn't really matter.

[disneysteve]

I have tshirts that I still wear that are 18 years old

Big deal. I've got t-shirts from college and I graduated in 1986 so they are at least that old . In fact, they had a college day at my daughter's school recently and she wore one of my old shirts.

I also have numerous dress shirts that I inherited when my father-in-law died because he and I wore the same size. He died in 1993 so they are all at least 15 years old and most are older because they weren't new when I got them.

[jIM_Ohio]

Expenses:

Rent $410
Utilities $70
Gas (as needed, generally not a lot-we walk as much as possible)
Phone (prepaid, as needed)
Baby items (generally bought with gift cards from friends and family, or $20 monthly)

Income:

Friday we will receive about $200 or less depending on taxes
New job starts on Feb. 23rd and he will be making $9 per hour 40 hours per week
Taxes are coming back between now and Feb. 24th, $3500

Debts can be found here: http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/d...ollection.html

The budget posted is NOT good enough. You need to design a budget for worst case and list ALL expenses.

rent
utilities (list all seperately)
fuel for car
car payment
car registration (if $50 once per year, you need to set aside $5/month for this).
amount you spend per month on prepaid phone (if you buy 8 per year at $50 that is 8*50/12=$34/mo
baby items- you need to budget for that- know that diapers cost $60 for a package of 46, and you go through 1 pack per week, so cost is 60*52/12=$260/month
formula costs...

$9/hr times 40 hourse is $360/week pre tax which is $18k per year. If there is other income you should list it.

The tax refund is high- how much of that was child tax credit (I assume $1000), how much was EIC? how much was an education tax credit?

I would factor the child and education credits and adjust W-2 so you will not get such a high refund next year- $3600 is $300/mo. You need that money NOW.

The first step of any good plan will be details, not guesses. If you post to the forums, post the numbers here- in this thread- I do not read the blogs very often.

[jIM_Ohio]

Once you post the budget, the goal will be to
a) save 20% of each paycheck to savings
b) live on 80% of your pay

I would use a paycheck calculator (paycheck city is what I use) to estimate what the taxes will be (6.2% for SS, 1.45% for medicare, plus federal, state and local taxes). Then you can play with W-2 allowances to make sure you maximize take home pay and minimize refunds. Your refund is 1/6 of your annual salary and is way too high.