Feeling sad and depressed

[chestynuts]

Hi, I'm feeling really sad and depressed. I do not even want to go out and talk to anyone. I felt like screaming for no reason at all. I hope I could be like others who are happy. But mine is different, I suffer from anxiety and depression so things seem difficult each day. I hope things will change for the better soon.

[amastewa93]

Chesty, for what its worth, consider the following:

1. Getting a solid 8 hours of sleep
2. Exercise
3. Staying off social media

[kork13]

Chesty,
I understand all too well how difficult dealing with depression & anxiety can be, from too much personal experience. Normally, I am never one to be open about this stuff, but if I can can be of any help for you or anyone else, laying bare my own experiences is well worth the exposure of my otherwise very personal nightmare. Depression and anxiety are both very personal in nature, and how it manifests and how you handle it and get over it varies alot from person to person... But some things that have helped me:

Proper sleep (not too much or too little) & regular, consistent, challenging exercise are both excellent first steps to be able to help yourself handle things. Selfless acts of service are another good way to get out of your own head & focus more on the needs of those around you. All of these require some 'oomph' to get out of bed & out of the house, and it'll take what may seem like an impossible effort. But even the very act of getting up from the couch to go do something worthwhile is a small victory worth celebrating. Give yourself a pat on the back for the little things you do, and make a conscious effort to notice those little victories. They pile up.

Research is stacking up that shows significant benefits (at times even equivalent to medication therapies) for mental health patients who learn to meditate on a regular basis. I don't mean the new age "energy focused" & "nature connection" & whatever other mystical nonsense is going around... Simple, introspective meditation can help you learn to clear your mind when anxieties start racing, or when your depression seems overwhelming. Give it a shot. I was hesitant & VERY skeptical, but I've been gratefully surprised by its beneficial influence. An excellent smartphone app for guided meditation that I've used is called "Calm". I almost never buy subscription services, but the Calm annual subscription ($60/yr?) is well worth the money IMO.

Is there anyone that you're close with (family, friends, religious leader, coworker, supervisor, etc.) that you can open up to & talk about what's going on for you? Does your community have any social services available that can be of help? If you haven't yet, I'd also recommend going to meet with a good counselor, psychologist, or even just your generic family doctor. What I'm getting at is that often, just discussing what's going on, getting everything out in the open (and out of your head), and letting all of your thoughts, fears, and anxieties into the light of day helps alot in being able to see them for what they are, and slowly, with help, you can learn to overcome those thoughts that overwhelm & cripple you. If online forums like this are more within your comfort level, there are groups online specifically designed for discussing depression & anxiety with other folks who are going through it as well, and gives you the same kind of outlet for you to vent, self-analyze, and give voice to your internal struggles. The important part is that you should not try to do this all on your own! Get help in handling your depression & anxiety, from whatever source you're most comfortable doing so.

This will sound blunt & cyclical, but this idea/realization (given to me by a friend) helped my logical, analytical mind to get through the bad times, and to build my resolve during the better times. Don't think or expect that someday you will just "get over it". That kind of impossibly high expectation only leads to disappointment. Depression doesn't go away. It's always there, and you just have to learn how you can control it. Winston Churchill (the British PM from WWII) referred to his depression as a "black dog" that is always at your side -- but you are the dog's master, and you can choose how much leash to give it. Over time, with help & with practice, you can and will learn to control your "black dog". Don't give up, and don't ever stop fighting.

I wish I could be more helpful... But all I can do is offer my ear. Feel free to PM me anytime, I'd be happy to discuss in more detail my thoughts, experiences, suggestions, and anything else that you'd like. I won't say that I'm beyond my depression & anxieties (as I said in the previous paragraph), but I mostly have it under control. I will periodically still have a few bad days (occasionally a couple bad weeks), but I know how to get myself through it. Never easy, and it's been a long road, but it's a road worth traveling. Believe that you can get control of it, and do everything you can to learn how. You can, and you will.

All the best to you, and please, make sure that you ask for, receive, and make full use of help from others as you walk down this road.

[bjl584]

I've dealt with the same thing over the years.

What really helped me was a set of specific goals to work towards. That, and keeping super busy. Don't ever quit moving. Always be working on or towards some positive goal. Sitting idle and feeling sorry for myself only lead to more sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Get your diet in check, get to the gym on a regular basis, then hustle everyday all day long on things you are passionate about. And, help as many people as you can along the way. Something about making other people happy and satisfied makes you feel better and reinforces your motivation to try even harder to work toward your goals.

Your goals can be anything positive. Maybe some form of exercise goal. Run a 5K or lift a certain amount in the gym. It can be financial related. Buid a certain net worth in a certain time frame. It can be to start a business. It can be to learn a new skill and master it. The possibilities are endless.

Good luck and hang in there.

[TexasHusker]

If you have depression and are not under the care of a psychiatrist, that would be my first phone call. In the last three decades, new drug therapies have come available that are true game changers. If you are not taking advantage, you are sinking in a pool full of life preservers.

[chestynuts]

Hi to all! I appreciate that you took time and share your thoughts about my feelings. I will take note of your advice. A family member told me same things. Actually, my father wants me to consult a therapist for my depression. He mentioned that it will help me feel better and deal with life in a more positive approach.

[amastewa93]

I hope you are starting to feel a bit better and are seeking the help you deserve!

[Tabs]

Hi Chesty. I would like to offer words of encouragement, but frankly, I don't know how because I too am a bit of a mess myself. But for what it's worth, I care too.

[chestynuts]

Hi Chesty. I would like to offer words of encouragement, but frankly, I don't know how because I too am a bit of a mess myself. But for what it's worth, I care too.

It's okay Tabs. I very well appreciate your concern about my depression. I'm already coping with it and I hope you will feel good about yourself too. Remember that we all have worth.

[GrimJack]

Hey! I am there too. I have not called anyone other than family for 3 years (well, I needed someone to come take me home from surgery so I imposed on some people I know). The last person I called (3 years ago) said "I thought you could not call people" - then she laughed and hung up.

I go see friends on the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and a friend's birthday. The friend has a huge party every year at their home. They are an adorable couple; he is 6'5" and proudly out and she is transitioning. He complained to me that as a proud, out gay man it bothered him that people would see them as a straight couple - c'est la vie. I do get hit on at the parties but the people are so wonderful and completely different from my Montana upbringing that I have a good time.

It is kind of odd that I have had a number of people in my life who have transitioned; in 1975 a friend transitioned from a single mother to a single father. Later, another friend's wife transitioned and now when they walk down the street they are assumed to be a gay couple.

Me and GG - we were meant for each other I guess (GG is my cat mentioned in a previous thread).

[RalphMcDonald]

I can understand your situation while facing difficulties like anxiety and depression. How you deal with it that varies from person to person. The situation do not remain for long time as there are lots of techniques you can follow to get rid of your situation.

One of the thing you can go for counselling that really help you.
Keep doing prayer, yoga and busy with things that make you feel better.
Picked up some old hobbies or new ones.