"For Women Only"!

[Broken Arrow]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Jacklad: So I buck the trend? That means I'm special? Great!

One ticket on the short, yellow bus please!

[Ima saver]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Thanks everyone. Jacklad, glad to know you are a lady, fooled me with your name. My husband is not interested in handling money either, he has too many other things on his mind. I always consult him about a big purchase, besides he knows I am frugal and usually do not buy something silly.(exept the big wooden moose who "pooped" m & m's. But we gave it as a bar gift to someone with a new house)

[pearlieq]

Re: "For Women Only"!

I try to get my husband interested, but he's just not. All the information is on the computer for him to look at any time, and I certainly keep him informed of all decisions. Big money items and decisions are always mutual, even if I have to nail him to his chair for half an hour to explain the options.

This is exactly how it works in our house too!

Once DH figured out that I was good at handling the money and didn't mind doing it, he was more than happy to hand it over to me to deal with. I try to get him interested and keep him updated, with varying degrees of success. I know I couldn't do what he does--I'd want to be involved--but the status quo works very well for us.

[Jacklad]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Jacklad: So I buck the trend? That means I'm special? Great!

Well, you're not in the majority. But the more interesting thing to me was that, regardless of which partner did it, most marriages had one primary "money" person. It was really rare to find split finances/responsibilities.

One ticket on the short, yellow bus please!

You're not *that* special.

Jackie

[Jacklad]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Thanks everyone. Jacklad, glad to know you are a lady, fooled me with your name.

Woman... of mystery, lol. But not always a lady. :

My husband is not interested in handling money either, he has too many other things on his mind. I always consult him about a big purchase, besides he knows I am frugal and usually do not buy something silly.(exept the big wooden moose who "pooped" m & m's. But we gave it as a bar gift to someone with a new house)

He knows that the bills are paid, that there's food on the table (and in the fridge, freezer and pantry), that the kids are dressed well and that no one is phoning, writing or chasing us. I guess that's all he needs - but I do keep a file on the computer called "In Case of Emergency". It has a detailed list of everything he needs to do if I die tomorrow - where everything is, what the insurance policies are, etc. I update it every couple of months. He thinks it's morbid. I think it's a fair precaution.

Jackie

[Ima saver]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Jackie, I have all of mine written down too!

[Broken Arrow]

Re: "For Women Only"!

He knows that the bills are paid, that there's food on the table (and in the fridge, freezer and pantry), that the kids are dressed well and that no one is phoning, writing or chasing us. I guess that's all he needs

I could never be satisfied with just that....

I'm not sure why I am the way I am then.... I guess part of it is the anal retentiveness in me, and the other part was picking up similar habits from my parents, especially my mom. And of course, seeing my financial stability go straight down the tubes followed by a messy divorce certainly didn't help....

In any case, I can certainly buy into the idea that women are more into personal financing than men. The female to male ratio on this board alone provides a compelling, albeit circumstantial evidence.

I wish more guys would get involved, especially my real life buddies. It would do them a world of good.

You're not *that* special.

Awww, but I got a ticket. The man that ran off cackling after he sold it to me said it's good for a lifetime!

[Ima saver]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Well, you were married to someone that did not handle money well. If the wife is responsible with the money, most men are glad to have the burden of bill paying, etc. taken off their shoulders. We have 4 checking accounts. I am the one that gets to pay all the bills and balance the checkbooks. I also spend a lot of time doing research on what mutual funds to buy. I opened my husband's IRA's and roth's!

[morningloryrose]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Well Now, didn't I start a topic? I did get some idea's on how to save a few extra dollars for my husband's Christmas present. But I also learned a few other very important things. That Women (and men) need to be financialy prepared in the event that the marrage goes bad. Women don't think it will ever happen to them. They think it's going to be nothing but SunShine and Rose's forever. Not always true. I love my husband and we get along great. But.... One never know's do they. The knowledge that some of you have,(that have gone threw a divorce)would be very valuble to us other's on how to protect ourselves in the event that it could happen to us. I don't know how to do it myself? This is a very educational post. Thanks to all.

[FrugalBachelor]

Re: "For Women Only"!

and that sentiment should help you remain a bachelor...so you have no worries!!

I hope your distrust doesnt come from experience...I (wife) also take care of our families finances and we are doing quite well.

ha...happy being a bachelor!

I used to give money to my exgirlfriends and am very generous. Just not handing my checks pver to ANYONE.....not even the man upstairs.

[vsjhoc]

Re: "For Women Only"!

I've said it before and ...

Women should ALWAYS have at least one account in their own names. Even if you never get divorced, or nothing ever goes wrong with your marriage, you want to have free access to some liquid assets. You also want to have credit in your own name.

For example: Your husband gets into a terrible accident and is in a coma. You have to quickly come up with a lot of cash for medical bills, or to pay your regular expenses, or whatever. You have a joint bank account, but what if the idiot bank manager thinks he needs both of your signatures to withdraw the money? You are SOL if he won't release the funds.

[Jacklad]

Re: "For Women Only"!

I've said it before and ...

Women should ALWAYS have at least one account in their own names. Even if you never get divorced, or nothing ever goes wrong with your marriage, you want to have free access to some liquid assets. You also want to have credit in your own name.

Absolutely - I've seen widows suddenly find themselves with *no* credit rating at all.

For example: Your husband gets into a terrible accident and is in a coma. You have to quickly come up with a lot of cash for medical bills, or to pay your regular expenses, or whatever. You have a joint bank account, but what if the idiot bank manager thinks he needs both of your signatures to withdraw the money? You are SOL if he won't release the funds.

Every couple should have wills, powers of attorney and separate medical powers of attorney in place. If there's a trust issue (i.e. you're worried about your spouse cleaning you out) , you can have joint attorneys - e.g. your spouse and your lawyer, a trusted friend or family member.

Jackie

[kealina]

Re: "For Women Only"!

Well, I'm sure Ima can speak for herself, but I just thought I'd point out that some men are perfectly comfortable with handing their money over to their wives. I have a good friend that does that, but then, the wife is much more financially savvy... and has an MBA.

To be fair, I myself wouldn't hand my money completely to anyone else either. Either I manage all of it, or we manage it together. However, I believe that's a personal preference that would vary between each individuals, eh?

it seems like everybody has already replied to frugalbachelors comment so here's my 0.02 on wives and money... in my familythe men seem pretty comfortable handing it over because the women always handle the money... my grandma handles it (grandpa gets allowance cuz he spends a lot)... grandpa doesn't care. he's got enough money to fly to vegas, buy his employees (he's retired but still stops in as owner) food, go out to eat, and whatever else he needs...
my mom handles it because she is a SAHW to dad's stressful full-time job and he prefers it that way. she has access to his bank accounts and can take money anytime... dad is pretty simple... he works 5 days, fishes 1 day and relaxes 1 day.... mom does everything else.... she takes care of all the household stuff, cooks, cleans, etc...she also does all the shopping. my dad doesn't buy anything except the occasional fishing supply and even then mom might go buy it for him... it's a good thing too since he is one of those people that will go in, pick whatever he likes, and hand over his money... my mom is the frugal one... i do think that is only works like this if you have a certain dynamic and personalities... the wife tends to be frugal, intelligent, and responsible and the guy tends to be easy going and the one who would just spend the money...

as for us, both DH and i are lucky that we agree on our money and can discuss it together... we are both frugal although i think i am more frugal than him... he just saves his money... i try to figure out the best ways to make it work for us...

[Ima saver]

Re: "For Women Only"!

I think the wife should know about handling money. Also, when i got married the 2nd time, I did not put my husband's name on my house. In case something happened, I did not want to lose my house.After a few years (7) we built a house in joint names.

[Ima saver]

Re: "For Women Only"!

I think every husband and wife should have an allowance to spend the way they want. It does not have to be a great deal of money.