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Ok, here's the situation. About five years ago on Thanksgiving, my FIL was in the hospital for a triple bypass. The furnace went in their house. Dh and his siblings took care of it, from calling the furnace company to giving them the okay for $5000 worth of repairs (new furnace and ductwork as the old ductwork was leaking carbon monoxide). Since we were the only ones with the cash to pay it, we did without a second thought. DH's parents were very financially unstable at the time, going through credit counseling and had gotten rid of all ccs. All around were promises to help pay (from the siblings) and to pay it back (from his parents).
The following month we received $200 from one brother and $500 from his parents. Nothing since. We have let it go.
Problem is, that is too much money for me to forget about, even though DH already has forgotten about it. At the time we were making about $55k combined with $25k in savings. Now we are making $18k (I work PT, DH is a student) with $9k in savings. That money would pay his last semester's tuition without us having to increase the student loan burden. But DH does not want to ask for it.
A little more information: His sister paid more than $75k in taxes alone last year, meaning her income is easily $200k or more. In the last five years, they have bought three new cars, a hot tub, and did a $40k renovation on their kitchen. His parents still struggle, but they recently bought a used car and did some of their own renovations. One brother is unemployed and lives with them (but, oddly enough, was the only one who contributed toward the furnace despite being the worst off). The other brother is stable enough, but has two children and not a great paying job.
I love them all dearly and do not think they would intentionally leave us high and dry - however, I do think they have the ability to completely forget that this ever happened, seeing as it was a time of high crisis. DH does not even want to remind them about it. I once lent money to a friend in college who completely forgot about it - when I started to resent her for this, I finally worked up the nerve to say something. She promptly paid back every bit and apologized, as she had forgotten about it. So maybe that's the case here...
If we never see the money again, we'll be fine. But I hate the fact that it's this little seed of resentment that pops its head up every once in a while and leaves me feeling like crap. I feel taken advantage of, like they don't appreciate how hard Dh and I worked for $5k when neither of us has even made more than $30k a year.
So - do I suck it up and get over it? Pressure DH to ask? He won't do it on his own and I don't feel that it's my place. I guess I am worried that if this is never addressed, I might start feeling differently toward his family, who I love so very much. They are great people, really.
One more question: Has anyone asked for money that was long overdue? What was the reaction?
The following month we received $200 from one brother and $500 from his parents. Nothing since. We have let it go.
Problem is, that is too much money for me to forget about, even though DH already has forgotten about it. At the time we were making about $55k combined with $25k in savings. Now we are making $18k (I work PT, DH is a student) with $9k in savings. That money would pay his last semester's tuition without us having to increase the student loan burden. But DH does not want to ask for it.
A little more information: His sister paid more than $75k in taxes alone last year, meaning her income is easily $200k or more. In the last five years, they have bought three new cars, a hot tub, and did a $40k renovation on their kitchen. His parents still struggle, but they recently bought a used car and did some of their own renovations. One brother is unemployed and lives with them (but, oddly enough, was the only one who contributed toward the furnace despite being the worst off). The other brother is stable enough, but has two children and not a great paying job.
I love them all dearly and do not think they would intentionally leave us high and dry - however, I do think they have the ability to completely forget that this ever happened, seeing as it was a time of high crisis. DH does not even want to remind them about it. I once lent money to a friend in college who completely forgot about it - when I started to resent her for this, I finally worked up the nerve to say something. She promptly paid back every bit and apologized, as she had forgotten about it. So maybe that's the case here...
If we never see the money again, we'll be fine. But I hate the fact that it's this little seed of resentment that pops its head up every once in a while and leaves me feeling like crap. I feel taken advantage of, like they don't appreciate how hard Dh and I worked for $5k when neither of us has even made more than $30k a year.
So - do I suck it up and get over it? Pressure DH to ask? He won't do it on his own and I don't feel that it's my place. I guess I am worried that if this is never addressed, I might start feeling differently toward his family, who I love so very much. They are great people, really.
One more question: Has anyone asked for money that was long overdue? What was the reaction?
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