graciously asking for no gifts

[Thrifty Ray]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

You could have a theme party and have every person bring an item to donate to a cause that fits the theme.

My friends child had a sleepover and instead of bringing gifts each child was asked to bring a brand new pillow or blanket which was given to our homeless shelter. My friend also came up with several other ideas for her other childs birthday that is coming up:

baby doll party- guests bring items for pregnancy services to give to mothers in need

beach party (she did do this for her husbands birthday)- guests bring old towels that are given to the humane society (some guests even brought dog/cat food, cat litter, etc)

Patriotic party (we did this last 4th of July)- we put out a bin for donations for our Veterans home with a container for donations, we mailed out the homes "wish list" in the invitations so that the guests knew what was needed and they could decide which item fit their budget.

costume party (our elementary school did this) where the kids dressed up as their favorite story book character and donated a book. All the books were given to our county's Literacy board which gives new books to underpriviledge kids in our county.

what great ideas!!!!! Thanks for sharing these!!!

[notmadeofmoney]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

We've done the "no gifts please" on the birthday party invitations...hasn't caused any problems or ruined any friendships! (But not for the family members because Grandma just doesn't believe her little darling doesn't "need" something!)

Since you're thinking of around 5 kids or so, maybe you could make a phone call to each of the moms and just let them know. Sometimes it is just easier to explain it in person....

We've also done the "gifts are optional" thing too but with one condition...It has to be a handmade gift! The best gifts my kids have received have been the ones that other kids have made.....like puppets, box robots, rockets made out of toilet paper holders, handmade necklaces or bracelets.

[lrjohnson]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

I would prefer that the mom talk to me casually about gifts or no gifts. I find any mention of gifts on any kind of invitation tacky. I know I may be in the monirity. I don't mind being gently guided.

[TBH]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

We've agonized over this too. My son has a doting Auntie who gives him a present every time she sees him. I've given up trying to mediate that relationship.

We have done no gift parties. It does cut down on the general crap. People sometimes still bring gifts, and then those who followed the instructions might feel bad, but still, I prefer not to get a bunch of extra toys we don't need. Also, I want people to feel like they can come and enjoy without having to shell out for a gift.

I think the language in your original post sounds just great.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

If people do bring gifts froma no gift invitation, try to open them with only them around, like NOT do the big present time thing..

[4TimesCharmed]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

We were invited to a birthday party that asked if each guest would bring something for the local animal shelter. They gave a list of what was needed. I personally was glad to have the guess work of gift giving handled for me. The birthday girl delivered the items to the shelter. It was great.

[getforfree]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

You can ask them to bring a dish (any kind they think the others will eat), so the only food thing you would have to buy or bake (cost you less) is the cake and maybe some drinks.

You might have to prepare some food, in case not everyone will bring it. And then have a couple no-cooking days (or days off) and still be able to feed your family without buying more food.

I am sorry, my brain just doesn't work about donating stuff, like some here suggested. My parents always made me to share my stuff with my siblings and my friends, but it had the opposite effect.

[getforfree]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

We were invited to a birthday party that asked if each guest would bring something for the local animal shelter. They gave a list of what was needed. I personally was glad to have the guess work of gift giving handled for me. The birthday girl delivered the items to the shelter. It was great.

did you get the receipt for the tax write-off?

[cschin4]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

There are some good ideas here for gift exchanges, etc.
But, I think you should just let it go and let people get what they want to give. Most kid's get alot of gifts up to about age 7 or so, and then the birthday parties start dropping off dramatically. And, part of the fun of being a kid is that your birthday is your day and people bring you gifts. Just enjoy it. Let your kid have his day without pressure to give it away. If you get too much stuff, later donate it to Children's Hospital at Christmas, etc. Sometimes when my kids get alot of gifts, some things don't get opened so I do "regift" those or donate.
Personally, I don't like the "please donate to charity" thing on an invitation.

[Ima saver]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

I think the way she worded it on her original post sounded just perfect to me. (I did like the humane society one though, especially for an older child)

[markio26]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

we had a huge problem with gift giving to our sons, from their godfather.. and still today, he gives them too much... he spent $1200 for two days at a waterpark with them, they didn't want to go and he insisted.. when they were growing up, i took their gifts and put them in the gift closet... they did not want all that stuff cluttering their rooms...some ppl. do what they want to do, regardless of what is asked of them... just my two cents...

[MarianneJ]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

I love all the ideas that have been shared in this thread, including the OP's original invitation wording which sounded extremely kind and welcoming to me.

I have mentioned this idea to my 7 year old over the past couple years (doing a donation instead of gifts at her birthday), but will not do it until she comes to a point where it is her choice to do this. Personally, I think the message is lost if I strong arm her into giving to others, and she is an extremely giving person with her allowance so not a completely lost cause. I will ask her about the theme parties that were mentioned earlier. Maybe they will be more appealing to her!

Also, I would love to receive an invitation that directs me toward a gift, especially if it will be affordable! In my opinion, it is extremely difficult to buy for a child who you do not know (from my daughter's class for instance), and then not feel pressure to spend over your budget.

[funnyvalentine]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

I agree; I thought the reason to have a party was to get friends and family to celebrate, not make a profit or rustle up donations for a charity, no matter how well meaning that sounds.

..... I like the idea of stating "no gifts", just bring yourself and your best wishes.

QUOTE=Sweepsplayer]The reason is people normally feel obligated to bring a gift to a kid's party -- clothes, toys, whatever. At some point they may resent the fact that they have to keep buying things for all these parties. Just imagine how resentful they'd be when they find out their gifts that they spent a lot of time and money on are just being regifted or pawned on ebay.

As for asking for cash, I personally would not go to a party where the invitation said: "Jonathan has plenty of clothes and toys. Please just bring cash for him. Thanks!"[/QUOTE]

[cschin4]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

My kids' grandma is very generous and loves to buy things for them. I used to try to have her buy less, etc. But, it just upset her as she loves to get them things. So, I just let it go. If grandma wants to buy or others do, I just let them and say "thank you". They may only have grandma for a limited number of years so let them and her enjoy.

[starving_student]

Re: graciously asking for no gifts

I would like to have two small parties this year for my son who will be turning 3 next month. We always have a family party at the house with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I was thinking about also having a small get-together at a playground for about 5 kids with cake and ice cream. However...I don't want even more toys that he can't use. I cannot deny the family buying gifts because
1. it won't stop them anyway
2. they just won't get it - after all, who wouldn't want their child to not have more toys??
So I am wondering if I can ask for no gifts on the preschooler party. I was thinking of wording it something like this: "Owen would like this day to celebrate with his friends. Just bring yourselves and be ready to have fun! No gifts please." Or I can ask that they donate a gift to a charitable organization instead. Thoughts??

I didn't read the comments. Probably this one came up many times but I would suggest that they bring money to contribute to a college fund and that you get the child at least one new toy. A brithday with no toy at all just doesn't sound rignt