good relationship tips?

[markio26]

Re: good relationship tips?

we are sweethearts, my spouse and I... we disagree and then sleep on it.. and then we find a solution.. he just got dsl from vz for the ki home.. i wanted credit for the 4 months that we are on vacation.. he called vz and they said okay... problem solved...and we have seperate interests.. we travel to our different locations, together and seperaely... and we spend time alone...and together... and pp is right..don't air your dirty laundry to other ppl..
thanks for the wonderful comments and congrats statements... yes, we do have a plan, 32 years is a long time... the plan is to move to nc.. and vacation in fla. every year.. and to time it just right, so, we both are ready for the move.. celebrate your birthdays, anniversaries, mother's and father's days.. it helps add support and recognition of each other to your marriage.. and if you can learn to read your spouses mind... tell him what he wants to hear... i tell my spouse he is the best looking guy on ki... and when he tells me about another woman coming on to him.... i tell him i don't blame her, i would want you again too... you know bs like that men are all physical in the brain.... lol..

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: good relationship tips?

Work on it constantly. Marriage is not for cowards. 18 years as of May 28!

[markio26]

Re: good relationship tips?

lately, i cannot communicate with my spouse... he gets all nerveous and shuts down.. he is working at laf and i think he is on 4-12 hr. shifts this week... i kinda stopped telling him things, he acts childish, and selfish... traits i do not admire.. anyway, i want time off from trying to be the peacemaker and referee all the time... lol.. silence is golden i tell you....

[cschin4]

Re: good relationship tips?

I have found that just keeping my mouth shut when I would rather not works wonders! Took me awhile to learn this! And, we both have been more accepting and forgiving over the years of each other's faults and weaknesses.

[JoyJoy]

Re: good relationship tips?

DH has been retired almost a month now. Our decision to split up the bills has worked wonders!! DH went and bought a ledger to record all his expenditures and is doing a really great job! It helps to comment on what a good job he is doing too! I knew when he was working that he did not have time to command all his employees and then come home and do the bills too. Now he feels he is still useful and appreciated! I feel everyone should be able to handle their own money at times.....it depends on your own situation and the agreement the two of you are comfortable with. Telling him that he looks and smells good too when he really does! We greet each other with "Hi Beautiful" and "Hi Handsome"! We have done this all eight years of our marriage. (He is a very handsome man!!)

Life is good!

[funnyvalentine]

Re: good relationship tips?

i have found, with us at least, that it i had to review what i thought of as signs of love. I used to think i needed to hear the words, and when he couldn't tell me how he felt, I got frustrated. He explained to me that his parents never told the kids they loved them; they showed it by how they took care of them....
he is very good at that; he goes with me when I marry people (i'm a minister) and he'll drop anything to help me if I need it. For my birthday, he bought me, yes, perfume, but also a cable that links my computer to a monster speaker so I can hear music at top decibel.
In return, I buy him exotic spices and fruit, because he likes to cook, and save him articles i think he'd like...just reminds both of us that we really listen to each other.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: good relationship tips?

I like that bite toung thing, but be careful you don't keep quiet when someone really wnats to 'hash it out'

The other night we were having a disscussion, and I said 'nevermind' of course that never works!

I took a deep breath, thought, used a couple 'filler words' (umm ok, ect) then I said, we can talk about the whole details later, but I don't know how to explain it, "here is my last try for the night X....Y....Z." (the XYZ would be the details)


Make sure the X Y and Z contain no err...color, no need for names, reminders of anyones fault. or not faults. Just the facts maam.

It worked, he understood that I was trying to explain something, he realized it was hard, and he figured he was close enough, anyway not worth getting mad over not understanding..but if I had walked off in a huff that he didn't get it and I quit it would be a problem still. instead it was my best ditch effort and he was ready to take it. That prolly doesn't make much sense....

[SuzeOFan]

Re: good relationship tips?

Congratulations! Wow 32 years ....must be doing somethin right~!




Everyone's right! But it could probably be said in one line...


Have your eyes wide open before marriage ....and half shut afterwards!

[Roupey03]

Re: good relationship tips?

Well I am surely not expirienced as most on this board when it comes to relationships, but my gf and I have known each other for a little over 3 years now. First year we couldnt stand the site of each other. Then we became friends, best friends, after about a year of spending every day together and never really pursuing a relationship, one late night it happened, the kiss. Ever since we have been together things are great and getting better by the minute. We are now doing the long distance thing. She moved about 2 hours away. I thought this would be devasting, but really it has been a blessing in disquise.

We have learned how to trust one another, communicate, and balance seperate lives while still being together. I feel like our relationship and love for one another has grown tremedously.

[lillyb]

Re: good relationship tips?

A friend of dh's asked that we call him if we 'go out' cause he wanted to start hainging around people with a good marriage/relationship (hoping it'd rub off, I guess). To this the hubby replied that we rarely 'go out'. We don't need to go out cause we prefer to hang out with each other. We generally enjoy each other's company and have no need to have to be entertained to be happy. So true, I'd much rather be with the hubby, even if it's dining in and watching a good movie together, than going out with a bunch of people to a place with even more people.

That and the man cracks me up. He's so darn silly, I can't imagine life without him. He can't just let a song be played in it's entirety without him making his own variation, usually something (sung in his severly off key voice) about his love of me.

I can roll out of bed with my hair standing on end, makeup smeared around my eyes from not washing it off the night before, be wearing a stain on an old huge tee shirt and the guy still says 'Good morning beautiful!' and means it.

It's not the major big things, it's all about the small every day things.

[Ima saver]

Re: good relationship tips?

Never ever lie to each other. I can not stand a dishonest man!

[BCHGRL]

Re: good relationship tips?

Congratulations on your 32-yr marriage!

Well, I've only been married for 2 months, but we've been together for nearly 5 years.

My parents will be celebrating 30 years next May. What I've learned from my parents is that a successful marriage means loving your partner for who they are and not who you think they should be. Also, marriage means support - having a united front.

[markio26]

Re: good relationship tips?

THANKS EVERYONE!!! for all of the comments.... we married very young, and without all of the hoopla going on today...so, i think we sorta grew up together, enjoying the seasons of our lives.........i think pp is correct in keeping the mouth shut... i hummmmm before i say something back.. lol... i think that the woman has to wear way too many hats in a marriage and her various relationships.....i find that i am way too bossy.... i like organization and safety... so, i speak up... annoys spouse... but, everyone else understands this... less clutter, happier home.. no eating, drinking, talking on cell phone in the car for the driver.. spouse likes to do this.. drives me mad.... and he always gauks around looking in ppl's back yard to see if they have junk for sell, while driving.. i try to be the driver if i can... lol.. me on the other hand, i crochet, do coupons, check my grocery list, read a book, magazine, talk on cell phone, eat, drink, chew bubble gum, listen to cd's, watch dvd's while i am the passenger.. he doesn't talk much.. so, i have to feel in the gaps... lmao...too funny......... i still love him.. i think my marriage has turned from passionate to compassionate..........this seems to be true of our friends marriages..........i am blessed to have a wonderful spouse and good looking too.. no gray hair and he is younger, and looks like paul mcCartney alot.

[vsjhoc]

Re: good relationship tips?

When I was 21, my mother was dying of breast cancer. I asked her what advice she would give me on my wedding day, since she wasn't going to be there whenever that day arrived. She said that marriage is a partnership; it is something that you have to work at. She was right.

[markio26]

Re: good relationship tips?

i tell you, anymore i run my marriage like a business and it works out better for both of us... playtime, datetime on friday nite, etc.. we even go out for coffee at mcd's and have business meetings away from home... i take my portable home office in my briefcase....sometimes the change of scenery helps me think....