Just Got Married

[shengmei]

I just got married and we only spent $200. The wedding pictures are here

https://www.xvr3.com/wedding_2006

The problem is, I am worried that I spent way too little at my wedding. It seemed like an excellent idea at the time, but now the dust has settled and I don't quite feel so different. The marriage is pure bliss, but I was kinda expecting to feel differently than before I got married.

Any ideas?

[Haku]

Re: Just Got Married

$200? That's pretty damn good.

I would think the best way to fix that is to have a great marriage for the rest of your life. That's what really counts in the end.

Wait, what about the honeymoon?

Congratulations, by the way!

[Fern]

Re: Just Got Married

Getting married is not about the wedding. It's about all the years to come, knowing you a one and only you can count on no matter what, during good times and bad.

If you want more of a celebration, you could throw a big party, the first as a married couple, for friends and family. Not that I'm encouraging you to blow a lot of money, but...

Maybe you're feeling something similar to post-partum depression? All the big build-up, and then...

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: Just Got Married

The excitement that builds up before a wedding rises to a very high intensity. Let's face it the event is a major milestone in ones life. You are still the same person you were before the wedding. When the wedding day passes the excitment level goes down. I guess it is sort of like anything you really want in life. You get it and then you find that while it is okay it is not the be all and end all. Relationships are different in that you can get excited all over again doing things together. The excitement waxes and wanes but it is up to you and our spouse to keep the excitement alive. That is sometimes a hard thing to do in a work a day world. Marriage involes commitment and work but the payoffs are so great!!!

There is the excitement of getting your first place together. There is the excitement of your first child. There are the milestones in the lives of your children and the same between you and your spouse.

What's done is done. You are apparently happily married so an inexpensive wedding has not affeted your relationship. I wish I had a small intimate wedding and saved my money for things my wife and I really could have used. 33,000 for a one day affair is nuts if you ask me but that is whta my wife wanted. I could have gone for the local Legion Hall with 6 foot wedges.salads, and soda/beer!

My mom and dad got married with two witnesses and then had dinner in a restaraunt. They had nine kids and had a very deep love until my fathers death. Money is a passing thing. Love is far more valuable than anything else.

My .02 cents is to go hold your spouse and ponder whether an expensive party realy change your feelings for him? I think you know the answer already!

[Thrifty Ray]

Re: Just Got Married

My wedding cost exactly the amount of the marriage license and the pastor fee.

It was August 1990 and DH and I were to have a nice cerempny in November. We came to Oregon (at the time we lived down in California) on vacation and I was picking out a beautiful wedding gown- first fitting the next night.

When we woke up the next morning, a little country that Id never heard of (Iraq) had just invaded another little country that Id never heard of..(Kuwait)

My DH was a US Marine at the time...so vacation was cancelled and he had to be back on base within 48 hours. We drove home, I remember being so frightened about what was happening. We arrived home at 5 in the afternoon, and by 9pm we got married in a pastors front yard. DH shipped off the next afternoon....and I did not see him again for 7 long, stressful months.

We never had the wedding or the honeymoon...but we have enjoyed 16 years of marriage and are looking forward to the retired years someday.

It did feel a little odd not having the typical wedding celebrations, but I can honestly say, looking back, I am grateful for not having the huge expenses and stress that go with the hoopla.

Enjoy your married life...and try to make special moments together as often as possible. It really is about the two of you...rather than 'the day'.

Your pics are beautiful!

Best wishes!

[34saving]

Re: Just Got Married

This might scare some of you on this board, but my husband and I actually do pre-marital counseling. We always tell our couples that the first few days (even the first few months) are almost always a let down. (Sometimes we even go to the extreme of saying "your honeymoon will suck" but at least then almost anything good will beat their expectations ) Now, that doesn't mean the marriage will be a let down, it just means that human nature puts a little too much emphasis on one day and the relationship is meant to grow over a lifetime. So, anyway, your feelings are very common even for people who spent a lot on their weddings. However, unlike many others, a few months from now you won't be fighting about the bills. Congratulations!

[Ima saver]

Re: Just Got Married

I only spent $100 on my wedding and it was the happiest day of my life!! The happiness has lasted for 29 years and counting. [Automated by GetSmile]

[jodi]

Re: Just Got Married

Oh, I absolutely love the pictures of the two of you in front of the tree. Those are wonderful - thanks for sharing.
I don't know if you and your new husband lived together beforehand, but my DH and I did - so after the wedding, nothing had changed at all. We did not feel any different. I used to tell people that the only things that changed with marriage were my last name and my wedding band. But that was fine with me, because I was so happy with things before we got married! It sounds like you were too. I doubt that going into debt for a traditional bash would have you feeling any better now - you would probably be feeling the same, except with a lot less money!
My parents paid for our wedding - about $10k - and it was wonderful, but looking back, it is a ton of money for one day. A wedding is a day, but a marriage is a lifetime. Congrats!

[shelbylovesmelby]

Re: Just Got Married

Congrats!!!!

[Fern]

Re: Just Got Married

The excitement that builds up before a wedding rises to a very high intensity. Let's face it the event is a major milestone in ones life. You are still the same person you were before the wedding. When the wedding day passes the excitment level goes down. I guess it is sort of like anything you really want in life. You get it and then you find that while it is okay it is not the be all and end all. Relationships are different in that you can get excited all over again doing things together. The excitement waxes and wanes but it is up to you and our spouse to keep the excitement alive. That is sometimes a hard thing to do in a work a day world. Marriage involes commitment and work but the payoffs are so great!!!

There is the excitement of getting your first place together. There is the excitement of your first child. There are the milestones in the lives of your children and the same between you and your spouse.

What's done is done. You are apparently happily married so an inexpensive wedding has not affeted your relationship. I wish I had a small intimate wedding and saved my money for things my wife and I really could have used. 33,000 for a one day affair is nuts if you ask me but that is whta my wife wanted. I could have gone for the local Legion Hall with 6 foot wedges.salads, and soda/beer!

My mom and dad got married with two witnesses and then had dinner in a restaraunt. They had nine kids and had a very deep love until my fathers death. Money is a passing thing. Love is far more valuable than anything else.

My .02 cents is to go hold your spouse and ponder whether an expensive party realy change your feelings for him? I think you know the answer already!

Wow, what very wise words indeed!

[robex]

Re: Just Got Married

When dh and I married, my Dad offered us $10,000 to use for the wedding or to have as a gift. Well, I had so many people tell me that I would regret not having a nice wedding, so that's what I put it towards. BIG MISTAKE!!! We should have gone with our own hearts, had a little backyard wedding with a barbeque, and saved that money!

If I could go back and do it again, I would have been true to myself and not bothered with all the frills and stress!

Congratulation on your marriage...you look like a lovely couple!

[markio26]

Re: Just Got Married

if this is bothering you in 6 months... you can repeat your vows... my niece had this same feeling.. she eloped to vegas.. and then she felt like something was missing.. so, she had a wedding 6 months later.. and she is happy with it all now.. this is a personal decision, you will have to make with your new spouse.. the pix were very sweet and tender... maybe on your first anniversary party, the pix will be more fun with huge smiles... all of the ideas and comments in the previous replys were great... what a smart bunch of ppl...

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: Just Got Married

Awww, CONGRATS! And I love the pictures! Hubby and I spent the cost of the license and money to the minister and wouldn't have it any other way, it was just the three of us in a beautiful sanctuary, such wonderful memories.

Even though we'd lived together for 3 years it WAS and IS different, a feeling of peace and comfort for both of us.

kj

[NoWayNovember]

Re: Just Got Married

That's not uncommon! I lived with my DH before we got married and we had been together for 7 years by the time we married, so I had prepared myself for not feeling any different... the only thing different is my last name!

After spending so much effort and thought on my wedding, after it was over and I had been to some other weddings, I learned that the guests don't care nearly as much as I thought they would about favors and entrees and etc.

The most important thing is that you enjoyed the day! You can always have a housewarming party or get together for friends and family if you're itching to spend more money. I think you should be proud of yourself! I know a couple who received $25,000 for their wedding from their parents and they've been whining that it isn't enough.

[Fern]

Re: Just Got Married

I just read an article the other day that at home weddings are really not that much cheaper than a traditional church wedding and banquet hall reception, surprisingly.

That's becus a tent for 100 or so people is very expensive. Then there's the chairs/seating, and you need to rent restrooms if you don't your plumbing totally backed up