Creditors and a new phone number

**Ima saver** · 05-19-2006, 07:39 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

Tell her to get an answering machine and let that screen her calls. She really should try and make arrangements with them. they will accept less if that is all she has.

**boefixepa** · 05-19-2006, 08:16 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

Really...is there any point in trying to reason with her....just smile and nod your head and talk about something other than money.

**frugalfarmwife** · 05-19-2006, 10:34 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

I understand that you really care for her and that she's driving you bonkers, trust me, my best friend does the same to me. You just have to decide to let it slide, give up trying to help, you're just banging your head on the wall and all it will get you is a HUGE headache!

My story:

I love my best friend dearly, she's the kindest person in the world and would give you the shirt off her back, but she can't see finances past the day to day, she'll never get ahead (heck, she may never get out of the hole let alone ahead!) We discuss horses, husbands, hobbies, gardening, etc, we do NOT discuss finances, it makes me insane and her jealous.

I know her finances well and could fix them up and get she and her hubby out an ahead in 6 months-1 year max, but they don't want the help, being miserable and living paycheck to paycheck is what they know and are comfortable with, they don't want to change.

My friend has no house payment (her father owns the farm the live on) no property taxes, no heat bill (free gas to the house). They only have electric, insurance, one truck payment and CC debt. Her hubby makes enough that they could get the CC's paid off and pay off the truck quickly, but the money goes through their fingers like water, with NONE going to savings. They're hoping to inherit the farm and live off hubbies pension and SS in the future, they haven't even thought about having to pay taxes on the farm if then inherit it.

Yes, my hubby makes more, but we have a LARGE mortgage payment, taxes, insurance, electric, gas. We don't have car/truck payments. We have a small CC debt with 0% interest, we contribute to hubbies 401k, our ef, a vacation fund and a fund for a new truck, and we pay extra on the mortgage. We cook at home and don't buy convience foods, don't run to the store/town daily. We look to the future.

I love my friend dearly, and would just LOVE to help with their finances, but they don't want it. I just had to quit dwelling on it and know that MY future will be secure.

kj

**Ima saver** · 05-19-2006, 10:51 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

I had a friend just like yours frugalfarm wife. I even put her on a budget about 35 years ago. She and her husband made more than we did, but never had any savings and had a hard time making her payments.
I tried again with her and her next husband, but after knowing her all these years, she is not going to change.
I worked with her at a savings and loan back in 1977, and asked her to open a savings account and put just $5 a week in it.
Her thought was, how much good would $5 a week do me? Well, that would come to $7540 and probably double for compounding interest (It was paying 6% interest in our savings and Loan)
So how much does she have saved now? Nothing, zero!
She is 62 and he is 64 and both still working full time!

**frugalfarmwife** · 05-19-2006, 10:59 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

Aren't friend like that enough to make you beat your head on the wall Ima? To top it off all my in laws are the same, day to day, more going out than coming in, huge mortgages, car payments, CC debt, running around working full time and never getting time with their kids and never getting ahead.

What really makes me laugh is that they seemed to have the notion that I was some rich "kid" that came along and stole the favorite son! LOLOLOL, now that's just FUNNY! We've worked for what we have and we work hard to improve our lives and financial situation.

Sigh, just wish I had a frugal friend in the area to challenge with, work with and yack.

kj

**veronak** · 05-19-2006, 11:18 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

You know yu guys are all right that is the sad part. I have got to learn to change the subjest or simply hang up because yes she is driving me crazy. And jealous she is, she started school before me and when I graduated with honors (AA Degree) before her she did not even come to the graduation let alone open the invitation, I saw it on her desk un-opened

And now that I am working towards my BA she never wants to hear it...I just can't understand some people we have been friends for 15+ years and I really don't think she will change, it's the kid I really feel bad for

**frugalfarmwife** · 05-19-2006, 11:24 AM

Re: Creditors and a new phone number

Originally posted by veronak

You know yu guys are all right that is the sad part. I have got to learn to change the subjest or simply hang up because yes she is driving me crazy. And jealous she is, she started school before me and when I graduated with honors (AA Degree) before her she did not even come to the graduation let alone open the invitation, I saw it on her desk un-opened

And now that I am working towards my BA she never wants to hear it...I just can't understand some people we have been friends for 15+ years and I really don't think she will change, it's the kid I really feel bad for

You can DO for the child here and there, depending on the age, diapers, outfits here and there, maybe a bit of forumula, or even savings bonds for the childs future.

Is the father in the picture for the kid?

And honestly, sometimes we completely out grow our friends and it's just time to move on

That happened with a lot of our "city" friends from what we jokingly call our before life, before the farm, before moving to the "middle of no where", back when we bought designer labels, went out to eat and ran with the rat race.

kj

Creditors and a new phone number