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This was discussed a bit in another thread off subject, but it got me to thinking that it would be fun to discuss all of the corporate b.s. we are dealing with or have had to deal with in the past.
As for me, I worked for a hospital chain. My boss was a hot shot Ivy graduate who thought he was God's gift to health care. His boss, the CEO, was about the same.
Every two weeks, we would have directors meetings where everyone had to sit in rows of chairs for about 90 minutes facing forward. This is while the CEO and his side kicks gave everyone suppose-d motivational talks. The previous CEO generally brought in guests for this, but the new CEO decided he had such charisma (barf) that he could wing it himself. He would patronize people with empty praise, of course bringing the attention back to himself because he was CEO.
"Frank" the CEO was so full of himself that a former employee had a huge plaque made for him that said "You can't fool Frank". Frank, oblivious to the fact that plaque was in jest and was a direct insult to himself, HAD THE PLAQUE PLACED DIRECTLY BEHIND HIS DESK IN HIS HUGE OFFICE. What a dunce!
Frank's sidekick, the Ivy Leaguer, was just sure he was the next Jack Welch. He would assign you a book to read and you had to give him a report. He loved using all of the corporate buzzwords like deep dive, drill down, paradigm shift, the definition of insanity (his favorite). He would ask you to "reach out" to so-and-so (why the hell not just call so-and-so, do I have to reach out?).
All of the CEO's VPs always knew better than to disagree with the CEO. They all sit around his majesty and essentially agree with everything he says. Nodding their heads. I tended to disagree with him a lot and wouldn't hesitate to say so - they would just look at me in horror. One VP asked me about it and I said "Look, all he can do is fire my ass."
I used to do a lot of high-level sales and negotiation on behalf of the hospital. But if the deal was high enough profile, "Frank" would step in so he could big-shot a little. Usually he would just show all of our cards and royally screw the whole thing up. He was about the worst salesman ever.
I remember one time we were in a very high level negotiation with an insurer and Frank just had to be involved. He basically ended up cutting a deal that cost us $ millions over that one hour period. One of the insurer's brass spoke up and said "Frank you need to come to work for us!" Of course, they were just patronizing him and in jest telling him what a dumb ass he was, but he was again oblivious - he kind of grinned and puffed his chest out like he was really something special. They'd just cleaned his clock.
So those are some of my fond memories of corporate life.
As for me, I worked for a hospital chain. My boss was a hot shot Ivy graduate who thought he was God's gift to health care. His boss, the CEO, was about the same.
Every two weeks, we would have directors meetings where everyone had to sit in rows of chairs for about 90 minutes facing forward. This is while the CEO and his side kicks gave everyone suppose-d motivational talks. The previous CEO generally brought in guests for this, but the new CEO decided he had such charisma (barf) that he could wing it himself. He would patronize people with empty praise, of course bringing the attention back to himself because he was CEO.
"Frank" the CEO was so full of himself that a former employee had a huge plaque made for him that said "You can't fool Frank". Frank, oblivious to the fact that plaque was in jest and was a direct insult to himself, HAD THE PLAQUE PLACED DIRECTLY BEHIND HIS DESK IN HIS HUGE OFFICE. What a dunce!
Frank's sidekick, the Ivy Leaguer, was just sure he was the next Jack Welch. He would assign you a book to read and you had to give him a report. He loved using all of the corporate buzzwords like deep dive, drill down, paradigm shift, the definition of insanity (his favorite). He would ask you to "reach out" to so-and-so (why the hell not just call so-and-so, do I have to reach out?).
All of the CEO's VPs always knew better than to disagree with the CEO. They all sit around his majesty and essentially agree with everything he says. Nodding their heads. I tended to disagree with him a lot and wouldn't hesitate to say so - they would just look at me in horror. One VP asked me about it and I said "Look, all he can do is fire my ass."
I used to do a lot of high-level sales and negotiation on behalf of the hospital. But if the deal was high enough profile, "Frank" would step in so he could big-shot a little. Usually he would just show all of our cards and royally screw the whole thing up. He was about the worst salesman ever.
I remember one time we were in a very high level negotiation with an insurer and Frank just had to be involved. He basically ended up cutting a deal that cost us $ millions over that one hour period. One of the insurer's brass spoke up and said "Frank you need to come to work for us!" Of course, they were just patronizing him and in jest telling him what a dumb ass he was, but he was again oblivious - he kind of grinned and puffed his chest out like he was really something special. They'd just cleaned his clock.
So those are some of my fond memories of corporate life.
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