Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

**PRICEPLUS** · 05-12-2006, 08:58 PM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

Interesting. There are so many things that go into a persons makeup I don't see this as a stand alone factor. Given the differences in success between myself and my eight other siblings. It would be hard to asribe to dad the success or lack of success amongst my eight siblings.

**Haku** · 05-13-2006, 03:19 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

Thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing.

**abowers** · 05-13-2006, 05:06 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

Very interesting! It definitely makes sense that your father influences your work style, but it's something I hadn't directly thought of before.

I'd be interested to read more about this, but I guess the information isn't helpful unless the book gives you ways that you can take your father's influence and use it to your advantage in the work place (I.e. instead of just identifying that because you had an absent father, you will have anger toward authority figures). For some people that just gives you an excuse "Oh yeah, well I have an issue with authority figures, but it's because my dad was never around." You need to be able to accept that it might be an issue and be able to move beyond that to succeed in the work place.

Just my thoughts.

**Ima saver** · 05-13-2006, 06:56 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

Well my father died when I was a child. I have an adopted daughter, who is nothing like me and my husband, even tho we raised her to be. I know a little about her birth parents, and she has chosen the same bad path in life as they did.

**Thrifty Ray** · 05-13-2006, 08:07 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

'The Father Factor' was so true in my case.

I love my father dearly...but when I was growing up, he was a very difficult person to live with. There was never an argument with my dad...his word was final...and if you tried to argue - one of two things would happen. Restriction....or you were ignored until he got over it (sometimes months)...I found in my corporate life I was VERY reluctant of confrontation and had zero negotiation skills. I learned to stretch myself and went on to manage a large piece of a credit union (almost half the staff)....but there were many times I was outside my comfort zone.

OTH, I worked with a young man whose father encouraged political dinner discussions, taught his children the value of the dollar vs instant gratification, had the kids help build a 4000 sq ft cabin....etc, etc...this young man (28) has a 5 year goal to be a CEO...and he just made VP..next step...CEO.

So, I definately believe in the Father Factor.

**Bookie** · 05-13-2006, 05:05 PM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

And "The Mother Factor" would be . . . ?

I ask because our mother abandoned us when I was six. Abandoned literally. Dropped us off at a Saturday matinee and let town. Neighbors had to call my father at work to come home and make arrangements for his parents to take us in. Anyway, I wonder how much of my focus on financial security and self-sufficiency stems from the experience. That and the reluctance to trust.

**Snoopy2645** · 05-13-2006, 05:36 PM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

I believe alot of men turn out like their fathers to an extent. Wether they knew them or not its strange about the adopted child I knew a family like that the mother gave up her child for her own problems & the child turned out the same way as the birth mother. Everyone who knows the family thinks its so wierd hes just like her.

As for girls being influenced by thier dads I think it comes more with who they marry. I think they marry someone like thier mom & dad combined & thier is no doubt my dh is my mom & dad put together very scarY!!

**frugalfarmwife** · 05-14-2006, 01:26 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

It is an interesting concept, but I also know that my husband purposely made choices NOT to be like his father to prevent mistakes he saw, but, sometimes his dad really sneaks in, lol.

As for father/daughter if the father is absent either physically or emotionally it can really effect later in life relationships, trust me I learned the hard way on that one!

And on the adopted children turning out like their real parents, yes, I firmly believe a LOT of personality is genetic, I watched a friend raise 3 adopted children and they sadly turned out a LOT like their genetic parents, it was a disaster and so sad, they were given such a good loving environment and turned on it.

Take it even farther, I raise horses and the sires are NOT in contact with their foals, yet I see so many of the same personality traits and actions in these foals as they grow, we even joke that we can tell the Leo babies because they're the grumpy/opinionated ones, lol.

kj

**elcheapo** · 05-15-2006, 09:05 PM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

oh please, it is all in how we react, some people are victims and some people are victors.
Some people are trapped by there past and they will live and die in there past and some people had an terrible past and they use it to create a wonderful future. So sure it depend on how we react. It is in the mind how a person thinks. look at bill gates his dad was just a judge or oprah winfrey her dad is a barber, my father came from a family that was dirt poor but he manage to achieve wealth and had his own business because he hated being poor.
Granted people in family tend to thing the same way unless they get around someone different.

**boefixepa** · 05-16-2006, 06:19 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

It's an influence yes, but you can choose to change. It's hard it takes more work and self determination, but you can change...if you want. It isn't just going to happen. You have to make the concious choice to change your habits. Some little things will probably always be there, but it's along the same lines of....an excuse.

Like....I didn't do well in school because I was dyslexic.
Okay.....so you just accept that and do nothing?
OR...Okay I'm dyslexic that mean I have a challenge I may have to work harder or find a new way to learn that works for me but I refuese to let this challenge limit the rest of my life I can will overcome it....

So to say....I'm this way because of my father (or mother) so I can't change..?

NOPE! Not going to accept it....manily because I refuse to live my parents life!!
And I love my parents by the way, I just don't want to live their life.

My two cents

**markio26** · 05-16-2006, 08:08 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

wow! interesting reading in the previous responses.... i don't know that much about this subject... it can be argued for and against.. my dad always worked, 7 days a week... we never wanted for a thing.. and then when he died in 2003 he left me a windfall... i learned many things from him... very smart man....i work smarter than he did.

**flash** · 05-16-2006, 10:00 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

I think children learn their work ethic from their parents. BOTH. Doing what needs to be done, proactively, working hard and giving 100% to the project, are learned in everything from cleaning house to working in the office.

My father had polio, lost the farm in a drought, and worked for 30 years as a custodian. Mom started a business from her home, but also was the farm wife, cooking, cleaning, canning. They taught me from the earliest age my work ethic, and that is definitely a strong contributor to my success.

**Fern** · 05-16-2006, 12:55 PM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

My parents divorced when i was 6 and yes, i did for many many years always have the feeling that he 'abandoned' us, tho i guess you'd have to assign fault evenly. He was largely absent from my life throughout my 20s and a good part of my 30s though today we have a good relationship.

I've had many jobs and i tend to get very good reviews performance-wise by my managers, but i often have (privately) problems with overly dictatorial bosses. I do work best when self-employed or, like in my current job, with minimal supervision. I think our parents teach us a lot that for most people, doesn't even appear on the radar screen, that is, we're not even aware of what they teach us at times.

**eisor** · 05-17-2006, 10:59 AM

Re: Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?

I have to agree with boefixepa here. I think that yeah, we do learn from our parents (father) but, everyone also has free will choice and control of their mind. I can definitely see how someone with a certain type of father would feel a certain way, but I also know that people can change the way they feel. They can also change the way they act. I've seen many people who act like their dad, but I also know that if they don't want to, they don't have to.

Do you believe in "The Father Factor"?