Some Father's Day Advice...

[BlueWillow]

Hello everybody I am new here, and just looking for some friendly Father's Day advice as it kinda pertains to finances.

I am 31- so a full-fledged adult, but with no savings, living paycheck-to-paycheck. I called my dad up the other day and asked what he wanted to do for Father's Day. He said he didn't know, but he'd call me on Saturday to let me know. From the sounds of it, it sounded like he just wanted me to visit him at home, and since it's nice out, I was thinking of just firing up the grill for dinner.

I didn't hear from him Saturday, which would have been nice because I did some grocery shopping which I would not have done had I known his plans. So I call him this morning, and said he was thinking of going out for dinner, since he "thought that's what I was offering" (I in no way shape or form specifically offered). My brother, however, is fresh out of college and just started working at a local fine dining restaurant, and since starting working there, my dad hasn't seen him much. And since my brother is working there tonight, I think this is my dad's way of "spending time" with him.

Anyway... I have almost no money in my bank account after doing my grocery shopping, and my dad has his heart set on going to this place so my brother can cook for him. But I can't afford the prices at $30-$35 a plate min, plus any apps, drinks, tip and tax. I'll ask about discounts, but still, for two people, I'm probably looking at at least $80 or so, and I just don't have that kind of money.

How do you pay for dinner when you can't afford to pay it? Normally I might suggest a different restaurant, but since my brother works here, that's pretty much the whole reason my dad wants to go- my dad's not really a fine dining type person to begin with- he's your typical redneck So if it wasn't for that, I'm sure he'd have chosen somewhere a bit more affordable.

Sorry for the novel... but any help or advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[snafu]

Welcome to SA, hope we can offer suggestions you might find helpful.

Issue # 1, Since going to this specific restaurant is to see brother, I suggest texting him to see if he'd be willing to split father's tab. He may be a new employee but tips are substantial at nice restaurants even after tip-out! [4 tables per seating x 2 seatings per evening @ $ 100. per couple should modestly collect $ 180.] You can eat your major meal at home from groceries just bought and lower your tab by ordering an app to eat s-l-o-w-l-y and choose to drink water!

Issue # 2. Your long term money management issues depends on the work you're willing to do. I suggest starting by tracking where your money goes. What is your net income each pay [sum automatically deposited to bank]? What are your non discretionary costs? Rent, Utilities (heat,electric,water, trash,cable, internet, phone]. vv Vehicle (loan, insurance, maintenance, operation,parking,tolls). Food (groceries, restaurant, take-out, convenience store snacks) Credit card payments etc.

What was discretionary spending in May 2016? Entertainment, Clothes, Gym,Travel/vacation, misc cash, new purchases, irregular sums like quarterly/semi annually/annual costs?

Do you have opportunities to work overtime?

[97guns]

maybe you can meet up with your brother on his lunch break somewhere cheaper

[BlueWillow]

Welcome to SA, hope we can offer suggestions you might find helpful.

Issue # 1, Since going to this specific restaurant is to see brother, I suggest texting him to see if he'd be willing to split father's tab. He may be a new employee but tips are substantial at nice restaurants even after tip-out! [4 tables per seating x 2 seatings per evening @ $ 100. per couple should modestly collect $ 180.] You can eat your major meal at home from groceries just bought and lower your tab by ordering an app to eat s-l-o-w-l-y and choose to drink water!

Issue # 2. Your long term money management issues depends on the work you're willing to do. I suggest starting by tracking where your money goes. What is your net income each pay [sum automatically deposited to bank]? What are your non discretionary costs? Rent, Utilities (heat,electric,water, trash,cable, internet, phone]. vv Vehicle (loan, insurance, maintenance, operation,parking,tolls). Food (groceries, restaurant, take-out, convenience store snacks) Credit card payments etc.

What was discretionary spending in May 2016? Entertainment, Clothes, Gym,Travel/vacation, misc cash, new purchases, irregular sums like quarterly/semi annually/annual costs?

Do you have opportunities to work overtime?

Thank you for the warm welcome and your awesome response

#1 - I just got some awesome news. I don't drive unfortunately due to a medical condition, so my father said he'd be by to pick me up around 4 and dinner service doesn't start until 5. It only takes 20 minutes to get to the restaurant, so... maybe instead of dinner, my dad will be willing to compromise and sit in the bar/pub area instead of sitting around for 40 minutes. So then we can order off the much cheaper pub menu (that would be a relief. I hate to sound cheap- I mean this is my dad and if I had the extra money, I would pay for a full dinner, really. If I had $200 in the bank, I'd get whatever he wants. I just don't have the money right now.

Another option, if he has his heart set on dinner and does want to wait, he can order whatever he wants, and I'll see if I can still order a burger or something from the pub menu even though I'm in the dining room (some places don't allow that, but it's worth at least asking).

#2 - Long term financials... that's always been a struggle since I work in food service myself, I am a chef, but make very little money for the work I do. Even my boss say I make "slave pay" (and I use that term loosely, I mean no offense, those are just his words). Basically, I make just over minimum wage, but wear about 14 different hats, when I should be making at least $5 an hour more, and he's fighting for myself and many more of my colleagues to get that raise we so deserve- which would help significantly in terms of finances. But we won't get an answer on that for a few more weeks or months.

Overtime is always possible and in fact, with my schedule, at least 5-10 hours of overtime is always built in, and they give it to me first because they know I want to work it and will work it without complaint, so that's nice But with bills and everything, it just doesn't go very far. And my rent just went up another $50 this month.

As for my spending in May... I don't know off the top of my head... just bills... probably about $1000. I bring home anywhere from $1200-$1400 on average. Maybe more depending on how much overtime I can get, but that varies, really. Some overtime is built in, any additional overtime depends on call-outs and such so it's not a guarantee. This kind of work is not the line of work to be in for a steady salary of bringing home $5,000 a month or whatever unless you're an executive chef. Until then, you're on an hourly wage. And if I do get the $5 raise I'm hoping for, I'm also looking at getting kicked off my free state medicaid, having to shell out $400 a month for something through work. I've already had to look into it to prepare myself for it. So the raise... I don't even know if it will be worth it in the end.

[disneysteve]

Welcome to the site!

How do you pay for dinner when you can't afford to pay it?

The answer is you don't! You need to just be honest and upfront with your dad and say, "Listen Dad, I would love to be able to buy you dinner there but I just don't have that kind of money right now." If he isn't accepting of that, there's a bigger issue to deal with.

From what you've said about your job, it sounds like it is past time to be moving on. Are you actively seeking better employment? If not, you really ought to be. There's no point in waiting weeks or months for a raise that may or may not even happen. Take you skills and talents and find an employer that will appreciate them and pay you appropriately.

In the meantime, you need a detailed breakdown of your spending so that you can make a budget that fits your income and still leaves room for building some savings.

[BlueWillow]

Welcome to the site!



The answer is you don't! You need to just be honest and upfront with your dad and say, "Listen Dad, I would love to be able to buy you dinner there but I just don't have that kind of money right now." If he isn't accepting of that, there's a bigger issue to deal with.

From what you've said about your job, it sounds like it is past time to be moving on. Are you actively seeking better employment? If not, you really ought to be. There's no point in waiting weeks or months for a raise that may or may not even happen. Take you skills and talents and find an employer that will appreciate them and pay you appropriately.

In the meantime, you need a detailed breakdown of your spending so that you can make a budget that fits your income and still leaves room for building some savings.

I'm not currently seeking alternative employment, no. Last summer we recently had a change of management. I work in a school, and the school essentially hires a catering company to handle the food services. All the employees stayed on, and just the food service company changed. It's been a bit of a nightmare, but we're all long-term, loyal employees and have stuck it through with them. I actually like them better than the previous company. I have learned a lot from them. We had a sous chef come on in November, and the executive chef we had from the last company left in December. So the sous chef took the executive chef position, and in the last 6 months, he's noticed these things like how much extra work people are taking on, and how little they are getting paid and that's why he's fighting so hard for the raises- but raises only come out once a year in the fall. So that's why there's such a long wait. I'm also sticking around because he's teaching me things the other company/chef didn't teach me because he just didn't care. Also, I just found out that I get more compliments on my food than other cook there.

It's been a tough year with the change in hands, so that's why I haven't left. I'm giving them a chance. The previous company really just didn't care, so coming on board, this new company has had a lot to catch up on and in all honesty... I never expect any miracles I knew it would take some time

What I will say is, if nothing happens with raises this fall, I will look elsewhere for work. Because you are absolutely right. As much as I like it there, I can't afford to live on what I make, regardless of how much I like it there. And maybe letting them know that I've found a job elsewhere is enough to light a fire under their butts. Maybe they'll fight to offer me more to keep me on.

[snafu]

I like disneysteve's answers. Do you work for school or a catering company or contracted by the school? Does school operate year round? Are you available for other work in another place July & August? Would you consider visiting and talking to sous chefs in restaurants that are busier in summer due to tourists/visitors, asking about part time work that could fit with hours at your regular job. If you decide to change jobs in the future, do not quit current job until you have been hired at the next place.

Issue #2: It's important for you to know where every dollar goes. I call it 'give every dollar a job.' This is very important since rent will increase by $ 50.
Since you are disappointed that you have no savings, I hope you'll take an immediate, small [baby step] to begin savings. Find a jar, any largish jar or cut the top off an empty milk container and start throwing all change in that container at the end of every day. If you do that conscientiously at the end of every day, after 21 days, you will have created a good habit.

If you have a bank account, I want you to know how much you pay them each month in bank fees. How much have you spent for food since the start of June?

[disneysteve]

start throwing all change in that container at the end of every day.

Of course, that only works if you spend a lot of cash. If you use debit primarily, change won't amount to much. In that case, what you can do to "create" savings is to round up entries in your account register. That makes you think you have less money than you actually have. The only problem there is what to do when you go to balance the account each month.

But basically, if you swipe your debit card for $12.73, record it as $13.00 creating a "hidden" savings of $0.27. Do that for every purchase and before you know it, you'll have a nice stash.

[ESMonitor]

What I will say is, if nothing happens with raises this fall, I will look elsewhere for work. Because you are absolutely right. As much as I like it there, I can't afford to live on what I make, regardless of how much I like it there. And maybe letting them know that I've found a job elsewhere is enough to light a fire under their butts. Maybe they'll fight to offer me more to keep me on.

Although you may work for them for a check, in reality, you actually work for yourself. You are the CEO of your own company, yourself.

If I were you I would carry on there as if it was your own business. You might put a written plan together to become a sous chef and in time an executive chef. Never stop adding value to yourself, your own self worth. It's during such lean times is to your advantage as your determination will be unstoppable.

Take a look at Russell Wilson with Seattle Seahawks - he came in NFL making basically league minimum salary. He worked his tail off, he believed in himself, studied the game, was a team player and was determined the whole time. He was the CEO of his jersey number. What happened? He won his team a superbowl. When his rookie contract was complete and up for renewal he signed a four year contract extension for a massive amount of money, $87.6 M.

Why did Seattle sign him for that much money? Because of his value.

As CEO of yourself work on improving yourself each and every day. It works.

[FrugalFish]

Based on my own personal experience of not having a lot of money to spend on gifts at times, I would say you should probably not have given your dad the open ended thought of asking what he would want. In the future, if finances are tight, decide what you can offer and offer that specifically. It can still be a very thoughtful gift.

Hope you had a nice time with your dad!