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What should I do?

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  • What should I do?

    Ok, this is not financially related, but I need advise. My boyfriend, we been together 7 years and we have 2 kids, reconnected with his old friend, maybe ex girlfriend, I am not sure what their relationship was before, thru Facebook. She actually send him request couple days ago, she has 2 kids and in her boyfriend dump her, now they been chatting for 2 days for 3 hours each evening. And she is flirting, and my boyfriend actually answering with flirts. She works in restaurant and she asked him to come, better alone not with family, more closer to when she finish her shift, so she can give him big hug and kiss. My boyfriend on other hand says how wonderful and beautiful and how beautiful her eyes is and of course he never could forgot the eyes like that. He also said he is not married and wish he was alone, but of course added that he is joking.
    So today she changed her profile with heart around her face and saying that she is in love, because of him.

    What should I do? I told him, that is not right what he did and of course he said he is not planning to leave. I tell him, that I can see what she is trying to do, which he thinks I am clearly out of my mind. On side note, he drinks every week and gets very aggressive, slamming doors and leave the house. Then he comes back and apologize, etc, etc.

    I am hurt emotionally, I am already to the point, where I cannot handle his aggression towards me, it hurts kids emotionally when he screams that he is living and he says it is all my fault. I don't remember when the last time he tell me something nice, except I hear that I am ugly, stupid, lazy, etc. and I am the reason he acts like that. But on other hand I don't have anywhere to go, I don't have family, I don't have friends( he always will fight if I went anywhere, to be honest I never went anywhere without kids, only people I saw it was other moms with kids), I don't have money.

    What should I do? I still love him, but is it worse it?
    Last edited by Regichka; 01-10-2014, 05:55 AM.

  • #2
    I think you should consult another forum if you're looking for relationship advice.
    seek knowledge, not answers
    personal finance

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    • #3
      I agree with the above poster, you should find some more relevant help elsewhere. Just my two cents though, it sounds abusive, even if 'only' emotionally (I realize that's still incredibly serious). If it's to the point where you're even starting to recognize it as that, get support and move on, no matter what. Don't try to make it work for the kids or because you still love him, it's best to get away from the situation and get you and your kids into a healthy environment.

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      • #4
        Like I tell my wife...ill never fight over her. If there ever comes a time if she wants to be with someone else or I can no longer trust her in the slightest way...its hit the road jack..and I expect the same in return.

        If you cannot 100% trust the person...the relationship is done. You'll never be comfortable again with that person and the relationship will never be at a point when you're not worrying. Unless you're in eyesight of them...thoughts will creep in your mind as to what they may be up to. You have to be mental to live like that and have absolutely no respect for yourself. (this is for anyone who lives in this manner)

        Without trust...there is no relationship!
        Last edited by rennigade; 01-10-2014, 07:36 AM.

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        • #5
          As stated, this is a personal finance forum, not a place for relationship advice. I wish you luck but I think you've come to the wrong place. I would look into resources in your community for victims of abusive relationships and get some good counseling and support to help you escape this situation.
          Steve

          * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
          * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
          * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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          • #6
            Sorry, I just don't know where I could posted, but I really needed advise.

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            • #7
              If money is the reason you aren't leaving, then this kind of is a financial issue. No, it's not worth it. I believe you need to get out before this escalates. Do you have a job right now?

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              • #8
                A few more questions. How old are your kids? What city/state do you live in?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Regichka View Post
                  Sorry, I just don't know where I could posted, but I really needed advise.
                  You should google search relationship forums. I'm sure that there are countless ones out there.

                  You most likely aren't going to find the advice that you are looking for here.

                  Best of luck to you.
                  Brian

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                  • #10
                    You're not married so you should be working. It's ok for either party to leave because you're not in a committed binding relationship. I'd suggest finding a job and moving out to at least another apartment.

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