If you could do it all over, what would you change?

[kv968]

Note to all the younger people looking at this thread...Notice the two main themes throughout...

Wish I didn't spend as much on "frivolous" stuff
Wish I'd started saving earlier

I'm not saying don't enjoy your youth (God knows I did) and scrimp every penny you have (God knows I didn't), but also don't fall into that trap of..."I can't afford to start saving and I've got plenty of time" because if you wait until you have "enough money" to do so you'll most likely be middle-aged and writing your own "I wish I had started saving earlier" post.

I've never met a person who said that they really wished they didn't save as much as they did.

Man I sound old

[Snydley]

My two regrets:

(1) My big (200+) people wedding that turned into a big party for our parents and for most of the day I just wanted to crawl under a rock. HUGE waste of money and I lost the ability to have a wedding for DH and I, about us.

(2) Going to a "name" undergraduate...and signing those loan documents without knowing what they were. I'm still paying it off (I'm 39) and really unless you are planning to get a J.D. or an M.B.A. the name of the undergrad doesn't matter much (a state school is perfectly fine most of the time), Also, because the school was so expensive, the other students were very affluent (for the most part) and this wasn't the most pleasant environment for me. One of my suite-mates sophomore year rented a U-haul because she had so many sweaters to bring to college

-Jen

[neatdesign]

I have a lot of same regrets that others have already mentioned. Here's another one not yet mentioned:

I wish I had made sure my husband and I shared the same financial values and, in general, were more compatible BEFORE we married. Turns out we weren't. We ended up spending lots on frivolous crap -- because he wanted to, and because I was trying to find any way to connect with him that I could (and letting him buy this stuff was a way of attempting that). We were piled under massive debt for years. We put off having kids or buying a house because we couldn't afford either.

Well, 10 years later and we're divorced. I'll probably never have children now, but I got out of debt a year after we separated and just bought my first house last week. I'm happy about these accomplishments, but I think about how much money -- and time -- I wasted on trying to make that relationship work.

[cardtrick]

I have a lot of same regrets that others have already mentioned. Here's another one not yet mentioned:

I wish I had made sure my husband and I shared the same financial values and, in general, were more compatible BEFORE we married. Turns out we weren't. We ended up spending lots on frivolous crap -- because he wanted to, and because I was trying to find any way to connect with him that I could (and letting him buy this stuff was a way of attempting that). We were piled under massive debt for years. We put off having kids or buying a house because we couldn't afford either.

Well, 10 years later and we're divorced. I'll probably never have children now, but I got out of debt a year after we separated and just bought my first house last week. I'm happy about these accomplishments, but I think about how much money -- and time -- I wasted on trying to make that relationship work.

Sorry to hear that. I've been thinking about my relationship lately. We've been together for 6 years now. I have all the time in the world to have kids. She does not. I need to figure out if I want to have kids and let her know so I don't cause her to run out of time (contrary to what I believed as a kid, I now know that getting married is not a requirement for making babies ). As far as I know, she doesn't really care one way or another, but still....

I don't care to "get married" but kids... that's another story. A couple of years ago, I was completely against having kids, but now, I don't know... I really need to figure out if I want a couple of them. How do you have that "Aha" moment when you figure out one way or another?

[btctony]

I have a lot of same regrets that others have already mentioned. Here's another one not yet mentioned:

I wish I had made sure my husband and I shared the same financial values and, in general, were more compatible BEFORE we married. Turns out we weren't. We ended up spending lots on frivolous crap -- because he wanted to, and because I was trying to find any way to connect with him that I could (and letting him buy this stuff was a way of attempting that). We were piled under massive debt for years. We put off having kids or buying a house because we couldn't afford either.

Well, 10 years later and we're divorced. I'll probably never have children now, but I got out of debt a year after we separated and just bought my first house last week. I'm happy about these accomplishments, but I think about how much money -- and time -- I wasted on trying to make that relationship work.

I agree. I'm not married, no children, and have been with the same person for less than a year. We're not at all compatible in a financial sense at this point. I'm trying to get her to start working on it, but she isn't all that interested. I'm a "count every penny" kind of guy, and she's more of a "no worries" kind of person. She makes more than I do and she spends more, but I feel that she spends way more on silly things than she should. At this point, she saves way less than I do each month, but makes almost double what I do.

[YLTL_Dan]

I'm a "count every penny" kind of guy, and she's more of a "no worries" kind of person.

Keep in mind there's a reason opposites attract... not sure two "count every penny" people works out every time either. That being said, if she shows no concern for what she might be doing wrong (and doesn't care to learn) then you may have a problem!

[YLTL_Dan]

As far as the things I'd change... I've made some big money mistakes in my 20's, but without them, I'm not sure I'd have my financial house in order today. I'm glad I made my big mistakes early in life rather than later.

[Gailete]

1. Biggest mistake is husband #1. The most selfish man I know and also with mental health problems. Took me 13 years to get out of that marriage and in the end, I had to pull out all my savings, IRA, etc. just to get me set up on my own.

2. Husband #2 was a spendthrift of the first order. After one year of marriage, I had gone from money in the bank, a retirement fund, etc. to $40K in credit card debt. In that same year I had also had a $25,000 payout from workers comp that was used as a downpayment on a house he insisted that we buy. $ years later we sold the house as part of the divorce and although we "made" $40K on the sale, by the time all the bills were paid off, I had $1000 left

3. while I love him, getting married again has taken a very big financial toll. I had managed to again get savings, etc. but right after we got married I got sick and never went out to work again so I wasn't earning what we had expected, but he also wasn't earning what I had expected he would. Some year's I don't think he even made $1-2K in the whole year so we lived off my SSD and profits from the on line store I built up. In he last two years, things have finally gotten somewhat better as he is transitioning from one type of work to another and so more cash coming in. He threw over $300 on my head today that he had earned this week. We are of the same mind when it comes to money but we have very different work effects and sometimes that is hard to know until you live with someone for awhile.

I realized that when I was single I was always squirreling money away. At one point 50% of my income was going into savings of different sorts. I really think that if I had never gotten married or had kids I would be wealthy in a financial sense. But then I would have missed out on my kids and hubby #3 who really is a good guy and helps take care of me with my health problems. He is the only one that gives as much as he takes. The other two were simply leeches. One of the reasons I get concerned when I read here that some couple is living together, one is a poor money manager and the other is having to cover all their bills. Kick them out unless they chip in their part otherwise you will regret it. Lousy boy/girlfriends don't get better once you marry them.