Reasons Why Our Behavior Changes Around People

[Doublejm1]

I'm a big psychology geek (I minored in it) and enjoy observing human behavior. Lately I've noticed that many of my friends tend to act a certain way when I'm having one-to-one conversations with them, but behave differently when they're in the presence of other people.

I've especially noticed this in the workplace. Some people are nice and polite when having one-to-one conversations, but become jerks when they're around others who act like jerks themselves. I feel it's because people have an innate drive to fit in, and in the end, they're looking out for themselves.

The mindset is something along these lines: "If the jerk in accounting can help me get a promotion, I'll try to mirror his personality as much as possible -- whether by telling similar jokes, acting as silly as he does, etc. That way, he'll like me more and thus do his part to get me the promotion."

It's amazing how people take on different personas when it's most convenient for them.

Have you guys noticed this in anyone you know?

[lorraineb]

I think the better question would be do you know anyone who doesn't. Almost all people change to some degree depending on their surroundings and who they are with to fit in. Someone who didn't change at all would be more the exception in my opinion.

[kork13]

Agreed with Lorraine. Psychologically, humans are social by nature, so we instinctually try to fit in to whatever crowd of people we associate ourselves with. So nearly everyone (except people with certain dissociative disorders) will always modify their behaviors in social situations. Nothing really exceptional in your experiences.... Some people will allow themselves to change more dramatically than others, but in the end, everybody does it (yourself included).

[ricom27]

I guess it's normal for us to adapt what is happening with our surroundings and how to mingle with the people we are with. I noticed that some people have a "fixed" attitude towards other people. Like for example, when your parents are around, you are yourself, you don't care if you're stubborn, lazy or what. But when some in authority is around, we tend to behave ourselves to not be in trouble. If we are with close friends, we are carefree and just go with the flow. But if we meet someone we really like, we do our best to project all positive attitude in order for the person to notice us - stuff like that.

[Doublejm1]

I guess it's normal for us to adapt what is happening with our surroundings and how to mingle with the people we are with. I noticed that some people have a "fixed" attitude towards other people. Like for example, when your parents are around, you are yourself, you don't care if you're stubborn, lazy or what. But when some in authority is around, we tend to behave ourselves to not be in trouble. If we are with close friends, we are carefree and just go with the flow. But if we meet someone we really like, we do our best to project all positive attitude in order for the person to notice us - stuff like that.

Very true. We alter our personality. Which personality we choose to summon depends on those we're with (friends, family, etc.) and the context (bar, church, etc.)