Getting the Boyfriend to Save Money

**cardtrick** · 06-05-2013, 04:25 PM

Most young people are stupid. I know I was, when I was a few years younger. How about sit him down and have a conversation about money and the power of compounding? Or maybe, buy him a book that explains it well? I honestly don't know what advice to give you because a few years ago, none of that would have worked on me... The way I look at it now, I'm 27 and would like to retire before turning 50. So, for me sacrificing a bit now is worth it. Maybe, you can talk to him about his retirement goals and do stress that social security can't be relied on. The least he can do is max out all the tax sheltered accounts that he has available. 401K, Roth IRA etc. And not to get suckered into CC debt with sky high interest rates.

i graduated college in 2008 and if there is one thing I could go back and change, it's contributing the max to my roth 401K and roth ira.

**ATPerez** · 06-05-2013, 04:45 PM

Yeah he's stubborn because he thinks his career is just getting started and thinks he'll have more money in the future. And in the future is when he'll be buying a car and house, so why not spend a bunch of money going out to dinner?

And thanks for your advice on the roth 401k and roth ira. Since I'm only part time I can't afford to do that yet, but once they switch me to full time, I'll definitely be doing that!

**UnknownXV** · 06-05-2013, 04:57 PM

There is no guarantee of any increase in pay, there isn't even a guarantee he won't get fired, even if he does his job perfectly (which he could always make a big mistake). I have a hard time understanding people who live paycheck to paycheck when it wouldn't be that hard to cut back a bit on some luxuries to at least have an emergency fund.

There is no security in this world but that which you build for yourself.

**ATPerez** · 06-05-2013, 05:08 PM

I couldn't agree more. That's why I'm trying to get him on the same page as me.

Granted he's not extravagant. But when you're not making a lot and you have student loans to pay off, every dollar counts. I want him to believe that.

**disneysteve** · 06-05-2013, 05:35 PM

Originally posted by ATPerez View Post

We live together

I was able to get his credit card paid off

In the next five years we'll need a second car and maybe buy a house. Then there's saving for retirement and emergencies.

we need to start saving money and sacrifice the luxuries

Fortunately we have separate accounts

I think there is a fundamental problem here. You keep saying "we" but there is no "we" here. You aren't married. Your finances aren't joint, nor should they be. You're talking about future planning, buying a car, buying a house, etc., but you don't mention marriage in there anywhere.

I also wonder what you mean when you say "I was able to get his credit card paid off." Does that mean you got him to pay it off or you used your own money to pay off his debt? If you paid it off, I think you're treading into dangerous territory.

**cardtrick** · 06-05-2013, 05:45 PM

Steve, I understand what you're saying, but there are some cases where your thinking doesn't work. Like with me and my gf. I'm not big on getting married, so if you ask me, I probably never want to get married. She wants to get married, but not me. I've been with my gf 5+ years so I decided it was time for me to step in and help her get caught up. I just paid off 20K of her CC debt. At 20% interest, she will be saving 4K per year just in interest. I know it will help "us" in the long run. Hopefully she will get a full-time job and will pay me back. If something bad were to happen and we broke up, I would still be OK knowing that I helped out a wonderful person. It would never come to that though. If we broke up, she would pay me back without me even asking!

To the OP: If you ever decide to help your bf out with his finances, you have to think about it for a while before acting. Is it worth it for you? Do you reasonably expect to be with him?

**ATPerez** · 06-05-2013, 06:23 PM

I didn't even notice I left marriage out. We've lived together for over 4 years, but it's not official. I just want him to understand how important saving money is.

And I didn't pay it out of my own money. He got over his head in credit card debt and asked me to take control of his finances because he had made bad decisions. I was in charge of all his accounts, kept track of his money, loans, bills, and paid it off with his money.

Now that I write that I realize the first step is to let go of the reigns and make him handle it. The credit card was paid off this month and now that that weight is lifted there's no reason why I need to be involved. He learned his lessons about credit cards, thank goodness, so now it's time to make him keep track of his money.

Glad I joined this forum

**snafu** · 06-05-2013, 06:36 PM

ATP: You're smart to question where your relationship is going. At present your BF has a different money mindset. I hope he is at least making the required payments on his SL. The interest will continue to accumulate and failing to keep it current has potential to damage his credit score. It's best to continue to keep your finances totally separate. There are no words that will convince BF to save money for future projects like car or house. I doubt he contributes to an employer retirement plan to collect any free, matching sums that might be available.

**smndtupidisaftr** · 06-05-2013, 06:59 PM

Student loans are pretty low interest, right? Why not keep that debt unpaid, make the minimum payments, and start saving money for some investments?

**ATPerez** · 06-05-2013, 07:08 PM

That's what my plan was. One of his loans is a private loan, so I was thinking about putting a little more on that one. I was thinking first build an emergency fund, then save for the future. Right now I'm trying to learn more about roths since I've been hearing so much about it.

**smndtupidisaftr** · 06-05-2013, 07:37 PM

Originally posted by ATPerez View Post

That's what my plan was. One of his loans is a private loan, so I was thinking about putting a little more on that one. I was thinking first build an emergency fund, then save for the future. Right now I'm trying to learn more about roths since I've been hearing so much about it.

Roths are good for saving some money on taxes, but don't limit yourself with stocks. There are far better investments out there if you're creative. And I'm guessing the private loan is a pretty expensive so get that paid off.

**chocolate123** · 06-16-2013, 10:01 AM

Originally posted by smndtupidisaftr View Post

Roths are good for saving some money on taxes, but don't limit yourself with stocks. There are far better investments out there if you're creative. And I'm guessing the private loan is a pretty expensive so get that paid off.

Lottery tickets? Beanie babies?

Getting the Boyfriend to Save Money