Feeling angry about others' debt woes

[NetSkyBlue]

Does anybody else get angry/frustrated to hear about other peoples' debt troubles, when the other people make many times more than you? I know with my brain that I shouldn't care about what anyone else makes or spends, but it's so frustrating to me to hear about people taking home 4000+ a month who are deep in debt. I just think about how RICH I would be if I had so much!

I'm nearly out of debt, all I have left to tackle is my car payment, but I'm also trying to save up for a downpayment on a house. I want to put $50k down on a $120-150k home, AND have a 10k emergency fund, eventually.

I've been at my "day job" for 7 years now, and take home approx $1875/month. I also work part time evenings, and net about $250-300 a month from that job.

I'm saving all I can, but for as little as I make, it's slow going to get 60K, plus pay off my car. Since the beginning of 2012, I have managed to pay off my student loans ($2085.80), pay towards my car ($6879.56) and save $7785.81.

I did negotiate a raise about a year and a half ago, I was taking home about $1650 a month. My living arrangements changed for the worse (financially, at least) about a year ago when my (much hated) roommate moved out and my boyfriend moved in. He makes so much less than I do, that I have been paying all of the rent. While I do make enough to pay it, it's a big hit to what I'm able to save each month, and it makes the 2nd job necessary for paying the bills, instead of just extra money.

To people working hard to get ahead, how do you cope with the frustration of people who have so much more and yet STILL fritter it away on credit cards? The exhaustion of working 3 14-hour days each week is only adding to the general burnout.

[disneysteve]

To people working hard to get ahead, how do you cope with the frustration of people who have so much more and yet STILL fritter it away on credit cards?

The lesson here is that it is not about the money. It doesn't matter how much you earn. Look at the celebrities who earn millions and burn through it all and end up bankrupt.

It doesn't matter how much you earn. And if you are in debt, stop fantasizing that if you could just earn more money, it wouldn't be a problem. I guarantee if your income doubled tomorrow, it wouldn't fix your problem because your problem isn't financial, it is behavioral.

You need to live below your means no matter what your means happen to be. Whether you earn 2K/month or 4K/month or 10K/monnth or 50K/month, if you don't budget and control your spending and maintain an adequate EF and invest for the future, you're going to have trouble. More money won't fix bad behavior.

[NetSkyBlue]

Thanks. The thing is, I think I AM being responsible with my money. Once I have my car paid off in a few months, I will be debt-free. (And I do intend to drive the car until it dies, so I figure a good 10 years at least, until it needs replacing.)

At that time, I will be living well within my "day job" pay, and I'll be able to save 16% of my "day job" paycheck. That still only amounts to about $300 a month. I'd love to quit my night job at that time, that would be a load of stress off my back, but the slog to amassing $60k would be twice as long. It just bums me out so much that I plink pennies into my savings, when if I were in the position of others, I could be saving $2k a month - but they aren't! They're wasting it all!

I should learn to be a kinder, happier person, and not be so jealous of what others have. (Or don't have, if they've spent it all...)

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

[97guns]

i agree with living within your means,it is the only way to get ahead, frugality, i see so many people working 2x jobs and getting absolutely nowhere, spinning their wheels. at the end of the year they can look at your tax return and say wow i made a lot of money and have nothing to show for it. when you really get down to it they are working 2x jobs/overtime to pay their bills, if that floats your boat go for it. me, i'd rather pay the piper early and reap the rewards later

[disneysteve]

Thanks. The thing is, I think I AM being responsible with my money.

Sorry, I didn't mean you weren't being responsible. I meant "you" in general. If a person isn't responsible with their money, it won't matter how much they earn. They'll just have bigger problems when their income goes up. More money won't fix the problem because money isn't the problem. There are plenty of people earning 30K who have no debt and plenty of people earning 200K who have a ton of debt.

It is very possible to live debt-free regardless of your income.

[~bs]

One couldsay that they made their bed, so now they're sleeping in it. Just as how you made yours. What prevents you from making more money?

No offense but you don't need to go to college to take home that much. Do you take risks such as taking on higher positions or going for new jobs?


Frugality only takes you so far. It's easier to save 10k pet year off 100k income than 20k. If you got the Frugality part down, focus on working smarter

[Like2Plan]

Does anybody else get angry/frustrated to hear about other peoples' debt troubles, when the other people make many times more than you? I know with my brain that I shouldn't care about what anyone else makes or spends, but it's so frustrating to me to hear about people taking home 4000+ a month who are deep in debt. I just think about how RICH I would be if I had so much!

While I do feel bad for folks who make choices that will ulitmately leave them in an insecure position, there is little I can do about it, so I try not to let it worry me.

My living arrangements changed for the worse (financially, at least) about a year ago when my (much hated) roommate moved out and my boyfriend moved in. He makes so much less than I do, that I have been paying all of the rent. While I do make enough to pay it, it's a big hit to what I'm able to save each month, and it makes the 2nd job necessary for paying the bills, instead of just extra money.

To people working hard to get ahead, how do you cope with the frustration of people who have so much more and yet STILL fritter it away on credit cards? The exhaustion of working 3 14-hour days each week is only adding to the general burnout.

Since you've brought it up, I bolded the part that I would worry about in your situation. In your case, you have direct control over this situation. Your boyfriend needs to pay up so you don't have to support him with your second job....

[NJDebbie]

Just wondering, what would your boyfriend's living arrangement be if he did not live with you? You are not responsible for your boyfriend and he needs to pay his equal share of his living arrangement.

[NetSkyBlue]

He would be living with his dad. Simply put, he doesn't make enough to cover his student loans, medical bills, and pay rent, even though he works full time. I knew that from the beginning. However, after my last debacle of a roommate, I'm not really sure I'd even be willing to take on another roommate. She frequently let strangers sleep on (my!) couch, gave her apartment key out to people she barely knew, etc. I was even willing to pay her off to get her to leave, after suffering living with her for 2 years. I couldn't go through that again.

[Like2Plan]

Simply put, he doesn't make enough to cover his student loans, medical bills, and pay rent, even though he works full time.

That still doesn't explain why it is your responsibilty to support your boyfriend. Even leaving the rent issue aside, it costs extra for him to live with you (utilities & food)...

[disneysteve]

He would be living with his dad. Simply put, he doesn't make enough to cover his student loans, medical bills, and pay rent, even though he works full time.

If he can't afford to pay rent, he can't afford to live with you either.

Get yourself a roommate who can actually split the costs with you.

[NetSkyBlue]

That still doesn't explain why it is your responsibility to support your boyfriend. Even leaving the rent issue aside, it costs extra for him to live with you (utilities & food)...

Oh he does contribute to utilities and groceries, as well as doing most of the housework and virtually all the laundry. It's just the rent (of which, half would be $362.50) that he is unable to afford. And I'm not willing to go through what I went through with my previous roommate. I really didn't come in here to defend my boyfriend, but FWIW, it would cost me more money and time if I lived alone.

That really wasn't my purpose in posting, I'm sorry. I was just appalled that people can burn through multiple thousands of dollars on things like dinners out, new clothes, booze, the latest gadgets, etc. How do they not meet their savings goals in no time flat? And how is it that they want all those frivolous things more than they want to meet their savings goals?

[Nika]

That really wasn't my purpose in posting, I'm sorry. I was just appalled that people can burn through multiple thousands of dollars on things like dinners out, new clothes, booze, the latest gadgets, etc. How do they not meet their savings goals in no time flat? And how is it that they want all those frivolous things more than they want to meet their savings goals?

That's because people don't see it in themselves.

They spend more on something they want, say a car, and refuse to see it as a problem and you are keeping a boyfriend that prevents you from meeting your goal and don't see that as a problem, because you want to keep him.

I'm sure they can justify their behavior too: "I can't go though again what I went through with my last used car. Repairs, unreliable, breaking down all the time, stuck on a highway... all the horrors. So I am not willing to take a risk again. So it is cheaper overall really to buy a brand new car under warranty. Sure it costs me, but I know what I'm getting. So they will just defend less than optimal choice, because they feel like that's what they need and that's what makes their life better. So here is your explanation.

[disneysteve]

I was just appalled that people can burn through multiple thousands of dollars on things like dinners out, new clothes, booze, the latest gadgets, etc. How do they not meet their savings goals in no time flat? And how is it that they want all those frivolous things more than they want to meet their savings goals?

That baffles me too, because I don't think that way. We handle our savings goals first and then live on what remains. Most people don't do that. They spend first and if anything is left over, they put that into savings. Of course, there is usually nothing left over.

I'm even more baffled when I watch financial shows like Suze Orman or Til Debt Do Us Part or Bank of Mom and Dad and when they analyze the person's spending habits, they are living at a deficit, spending more money every month than they earn. Really? How can you do that and be totally clueless that it is happening?

[gipi]

It is frustrating to hear people complain about their overwhelming debt as the swipe their credit card for another unnecessary purchase. As I've gotten older I've become more vocal about my opinion. They usually stop complaining to me and that ends the frustration.