What do you do for a living?

**cercis** · 03-24-2006, 07:13 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I've always been asked (and ask) "So what do you do?". I like that phrase, it can be answered so many ways ("herd elephants" "chase kids" "breed babies" - if it's a really rude person - "study nature" "Garden", etc).

I think if I'd been asked what I do for a living while a SAHM, I'd have looked at them and said "live". On a good day, I might have said "financial manager" which was totally true (and still is, I guess).

**Thrifty Ray** · 03-24-2006, 07:17 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

Call me crazy...but after too many years of working outside the home and finally making the transition to WAHM ..........I am soooo darned happy that I don't give a %^$&& what anyone else thinks.

I gave a 3 month notice at my job when I decided to do this (I was on the management team and had over 70 employees) during that 3 months, co-workers from the CEO down expressed their envy for what I was doing. (I have elderly parents who live on my land and I help take care of them).

Understanding the impossibility for many hard working moms out there to be home, I am PROUD of those that can be home. It takes a huge commitment and sacrifice for families to do it.

My older kids, who were out of the house by the time I jumped off that coaster, often comment how they wished I could have done it long ago and been there more for them. (Regrets are a whole other blog)

My 14 yo daughter's grades are up now....we are definately spending less but enjoying life more...my husband and I have much more quality in our time together...and we are all working together to keep this new arrangement going.

Maybe that's not a pity-oh look, maybe it's 'I sure wish I could do it'....Be proud of your decision...and know that many, many are wishing they could be in your shoes.

You are the CFO of your home....and clearly doing something right!!!

**jmjj215** · 03-24-2006, 07:48 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I wouldn't trade my wife's job as a SAHM for any amount of money. It's far too valuable.

**Snoopy2645** · 03-24-2006, 08:39 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

Well I am mainly a sahm I work a few hours a week doing demos but I also get tired of people saying that to me & people who say well how do you pay the bills then Well gee thats what I got married for!!! NO JUST KIDDING but gee what do they think that dh would let me & the kids starve or what while he lives in my house. And dh has had friends who called me lazy sorry but I havent been lazy one day in my whole life!! Thats why I never went on welfare & bought a house at 19 not cause I was lazy thats for sure!!

And my dd whos not even in school yet is reading something she wouldnt be doing if raised by babysitters. I really feel she is advancing because I am home because oldest dd was raised in daycares & I know that side of it too.

SOrry it just hits a nerve I get so sick of the people who think I am lazy sorry but I cant afford daycare for 3 kids for starters & then so many other reasons. And I am making more doing demos per hour than any of my friends are making at thier jobs.

**tgavin71** · 03-24-2006, 11:31 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I fully agree with what every one has said. I too was in management before I left "paid" work to become a sahm. That was 10 years ago and we have never looked back.

**frugalfarmwife** · 03-24-2006, 11:58 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

Farm Manager, CFO, chief cook and bottle washer, nurse maid, pilot (hey they produce it I pile it on the manure pile!)

I worked outside the home for years and the decision to purchase a larger farm needed a full time "employee" to care for the cattle, horses, chickens, garden, etc.

I'm proud of what I do and just ignore the sister in laws that take the "it must be nice to stay home" jabs at me, heck they're the ones that dump kids in day care all day, if they'd get on the frugal band wagon I bet they could actually SAVE money staying home, but noooo, they've got to have everything with a designer label.

kj

**tgavin71** · 03-25-2006, 01:36 AM

Re: What do you do for a living?

Originally posted by frugalfarmwife

I'm proud of what I do and just ignore the sister in laws that take the "it must be nice to stay home" jabs at me, heck they're the ones that dump kids in day care all day, if they'd get on the frugal band wagon I bet they could actually SAVE money staying home, but noooo, they've got to have everything with a designer label.

kj

lol. Sounds like we have relatives in common. Whilst my SIL and BIL have nicer 'stuff' than we do all they do have has been bought on credit with enormous interest rates.

**BCHGRL** · 03-25-2006, 03:36 AM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I think you should continue to proudly say that you are a SAHM. Who cares if they don't approve? It works for you and your family that is all that matters.

I've learned that unless you've had dealings with some profession on a personal basis (i.e. teacher, doctor, nurse, etc.) you don't know what another person's job really entails. Anyone who has been or has had a good SAHM might really understand, but the rest are clueless. Don't let their ignorance get to you.

**Lemony** · 03-25-2006, 05:37 AM

Re: What do you do for a living?

The whole concept of "doing something for a living" is kind of stupid anyway. We're all living whether we support ourselves with a paying job or not. My kids are kids for a living, my cat is a cat for a living, so I just say I'm me for a living.

I'll also sometimes say that I'm a "Domestic Engineer." It impresses people right away, but it takes so much time for them to figure out what it actually means that they feel stupider for asking and won't push the subject.

Anyone who thinks SAH is weak or easy or unimportant should try and live in my shoes for 24 hours. I could use the break.

**PrincessPerky** · 03-25-2006, 06:21 AM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I sometimes tell people 'lots I just don't get paid for it' but my question is usually phrased 'do you have a job?'

I read an adorable email about some fancy title, like 'feild researcher in charge of err something' Wish I could remember the phrase, but it was a fancy way of saying 'raise kids'

I know before I had kids it was weird, people looked at me like I was insane to not be working

I like Domestic Engineer, and quite frankly while I now wonder what I did with all my time before I had three kids, keeping house isn't that easy (well not if done right-now if only I could get it right!)

I actually have been asking myself in the last week (it has been a bad week!) if being a SAHM is more stressfull than a 'regular job' or if I am just incapable of handling the stress period!

**Ima saver** · 03-25-2006, 07:14 AM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I don't have children at home, but I have not worked since 1990. My husband says he would rather have me at home than making minimum wage. Not that there is anything wrong with making minimum wage, but he says he would rather work extra hours, so I can stay home. I do all of his bookwork, he is a builder, plus handle all our finances.
If he needs an errand run, I will run it. Sometimes he needs help at the job, and if it is not too strenous, I help him. I helped him put down all the wire mesh before they poured concrete a few weeks ago. I just enjoy visiting him at his job site! [Automated by GetSmile]

**midlight21** · 03-25-2006, 01:03 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

Oh, I could only hope to be a SAHM! We'd seriously have to win the lottery for me to be able to stay home with my son. I'm the primary breadwinner and DH's income doesn't even come close to being able to support us. He's way underpaid for his knowledge and experience.

**DivaJen** · 03-25-2006, 01:16 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

I do so many things! I say I'm home with our daughter, but that I also tutor parttime and run a web site for women, and that currently I'm also doing some very parttime contract work. Some times I tell people that I used to teach. I guess now I'll have to get used to saying that I'm a teacher again - although parttime.

**cercis** · 03-25-2006, 01:21 PM

Re: What do you do for a living?

Originally posted by midlight21

Oh, I could only hope to be a SAHM! We'd seriously have to win the lottery for me to be able to stay home with my son. I'm the primary breadwinner and DH's income doesn't even come close to being able to support us. He's way underpaid for his knowledge and experience.

Have you thought of having him SAH and freelance? Doing that with my DH enabled him to get a much better job when my job ended. He made some major contacts with some women who were soooo thrilled to meet a SAHD that they went out of their way to tell him about job openings and to vouch for him.

He also made some extra money and got to experiment with learning new things. AND he and my DS have a much different relationship than he has with my other DS (the one I stayed home with).

He also enabled me to better be able to breastfeed and work without using formula. I had bosses that frowned on pumping and refused to provide a place to pump, I had to use the bathroom, so he and DS would come to my office, sit in the parking lot and wait for me to run down and nurse for 10-12 minutes.

Plus, the more dads who "drop out" and SAH, the better the working conditions will become for women. It will no longer be thought of as a default that a woman will have a baby and leave the workforce (yeah, this will take a lot of dads, but it can happen).

What do you do for a living?