Anyone else annoyed by the term "on a budget"?

[thesimplemoneyblog]

That raises an interesting point. You are assuming that "budget" and "frugal" mean the same thing, or "budget" and "cheap". I don't think that is true. I also think you need to have a point of reference.

I think this is the answer right here. Some people view "budget" as a bad thing, something with negative connotations. "We don't have enough money so we had to put ourselves 'on a budget'."

Others view "budget" as just the way they handle their finances. It is another term for "spending plan." It isn't good, bad, or otherwise. It just is what it is. Everyone has one. Even people who don't think they are on a budget really are.

All great points.

I think too many people confuse the word budget with the concept of "not spending money." While it's more common for people to first get on a budget to not spend money, we use a budget to really analyze what we CAN spend money on and what areas of our life we would like to indulge (and that's often food and vacations).

Frugal, budget, and other similar words have come to have so many definitions and connotations that it's important to know a person's perspective with what they mean. As mentioned above, to some people out there (not I), a $400 pair of shoes could even be perceived as "frugal" if they regularly buy (and afford) $1,000 shoes.

[Gailete]

So I view these shoes not so much as a luxury, but as hard to find necessity - a good looking pair of shoes one can actually walk in without discomfort.

I'm glad I'm not the only woman in the world that feels like that. If I had $400 and found a pair of shoes for that that fit me, and were comfortable and looked like they would last for many years, I would jump on them. I can't find shoes to fit if my life depended on it. I've been wearing sandals that my son gave me 10 years ago as my only shoes for most of that time and they are falling apart. I too would love to see some good decent comfortable shoes at decent prices.

As to the term on a budget, it is all relative. Everyone's budget will be different and slotted towards different things. I try not to let people's comments that way bother me, especially since I didn't read the blog that the OP was referring to.

What I really hate hearing is people that say they can't 'afford' something, like my MIL can't afford a hanging basket of flowers because FIL will tell her they can't afford it and then he turns around and spends $200 on something absolutely frivolous (like new pots and pans). Saying that they can't afford something makes them sound poor while saying something isn't in the budget means, currently we can't or don't want to get it but maybe later if we choose to put it in the budget we will be able to buy it. Guess maybe I hear that 'we can't afford it' too often and we know more than we would like about their finances, and know they really aren't as poor as they are trying to make us think. Perhaps that is why the budget will rub someone the wrong way. Much nicer all round to stay out of people' money unless they ask for help.

[disneysteve]

What I really hate hearing is people that say they can't 'afford' something

Thank you. I was going to say the same thing. So often, I hear someone say "I can't afford that" and my immediate thought is, "Well, if you didn't blow your money on XYZ, then maybe you could afford it."

My favorite example is when patients want to quit smoking. I talk to them about the prescription options and tell them that their insurance doesn't cover drug X and it costs $150/month. They say, "I can't afford that". So I ask them how much they are spending on cigarettes. Of course, a pack a day at $8/pack is $240/month. So they can afford $240 to smoke but can't afford $150 to quit. Makes a lot of sense.

[DinoSaur]

Affording something is a bit different. I think it is a mindset myself, but if someone were to say to me, buy this house for an extra £1000 a month, I would say "I can't afford that"....and I can't right now.

Depends on the scenario you play with.

[Gailete]

but if someone were to say to me, buy this house for an extra £1000 a month, I would say "I can't afford that"....and I can't right now.

This is true, but when you know someone's income and most of their outgo to hear them say "I can't afford it", when it is because someone else is holding the purse strings it is frustrating. As to what Steve was saying, same thing when I was a grocery cashier years ago and the folks gave me their food stamps for their food but then had the money to buy a couple cartons of cigarettes it was frustrating. They can't afford their food and so tax dollars pay for it, but they can afford cigarettes. I remember just once being so proud of a guy as he came through the line. Everything in his cart was generic or the lowest priced item he could have bought and then paid for it all with food stamps. He was trying his best to get the most bang for his buck and you have to admire anyone that tries that hard. My son that works at a grocery store still sees this going on. Using the government card for all sorts of food and then buying the cigarettes. But I guess maybe they budgeted for them

I remember several years back seeing an article where the woman on food stamps had all the food spread out in front of her that she was able to buy. Of note she was feeding a boyfriend (who apparently wasn't contributing) and in her pile of 'food' was cases of pepsi, and such, lots of hotdogs, etc. Not very nutritious at all. But she was whining and the story was ephsising how she couldn't afford anymore food than what was there. I just shook my head. Terms like budget and afford are relative to the people saying them.

[EarlyRetirementJoy]

Frugal, if you are focusing on the term as meaning something temporary, vs a permanent change in lifestyle, I think I understand your reference. As one who works hard to live a healthy lifestyle, it's similar to my reaction when someone references being on a diet, as if it is somehow temporary, with a return to former habits imminent at the diets' conclusion.

I was pondering the shoe cost thread here, and I concluded that apparently shoes are not a priority for me, as I rarely spend more than $50 a pair. That would include fashion boots, of which I own many. I'll spend money equal to expensive shoes on travel or experiences however, so apparently these rank higher than shoes do on my personal scale!

I also often find people will use words like "I can't afford it" when what they really mean is "It's not a priority." The same is true in reverse. Where people elect to spend their money is clearly where they place their priorities, regardless of what they might say. The truth of anything is always in our actions, not in what we say.

[thesimplemoneyblog]

Frugal, if you are focusing on the term as meaning something temporary, vs a permanent change in lifestyle, I think I understand your reference. As one who works hard to live a healthy lifestyle, it's similar to my reaction when someone references being on a diet, as if it is somehow temporary, with a return to former habits imminent at the diets' conclusion.

I also often find people will use words like "I can't afford it" when what they really mean is "It's not a priority." The same is true in reverse. Where people elect to spend their money is clearly where they place their priorities, regardless of what they might say. The truth of anything is always in our actions, not in what we say.

Both are great points!

[Gailete]

I was pondering the shoe cost thread here, and I concluded that apparently shoes are not a priority for me, as I rarely spend more than $50 a pair. That would include fashion boots, of which I own many. I'll spend money equal to expensive shoes on travel or experiences however, so apparently these rank higher than shoes do on my personal scale!

Once in my life I paid $42 for a pair of shoes and that was in 1978. I was living near NYC at the time, and had been going into store after store looking for a pair that would both fit, be comfortable and was appropriate for 'good'. I had gone into several stores and asked about shoes and the sales people were the absolute rudest. If I asked for a particular shoe in my size they would say they didn't have it and went back to talking among themselves or reading a book or whatever else they were doing to avoid working and waiting on me. I finally ended up at this store and asked the guy about a pair of shoes and the next thing I knew he had pulled out a bunch of shoes and was trying them on my feet and viola! one of them fit. I didn't care what they cost at that point.

Anyhow shopping for shoes has been a dreadful experience all my life because of my shoe size and now with replaced knees, I can't wear heels at all, etc. I also don't have energy to go from store to store trying to find shoes that fit, I can't afford to pay postage to return pair after pair that doesn't fit if I tried to buy them by mail either. So yeah if I could have the perfect pair dropped in my lap I would pay extra for them, but previous to this point and except for the $42 pair, I usually have gotten most of my shoes at Payless for $10-20. Shoes are becoming a priority for me as the pair I've been wearing for 10+ years is falling apart and I know I need to get some soon! After that they won't be a priority for hopefully another 10+ years! So needs do change! Affordability changes as well, because a couple years ago even if I had found the perfect pair of shoes, I couldn't have 'afforded' them without charging them. Shoes and clothing wasn't in the budget at all at that point.

[EarlyRetirementJoy]

Once in my life I paid $42 for a pair of shoes and that was in 1978. I was living near NYC at the time, and had been going into store after store looking for a pair that would both fit, be comfortable and was appropriate for 'good'. I had gone into several stores and asked about shoes and the sales people were the absolute rudest. If I asked for a particular shoe in my size they would say they didn't have it and went back to talking among themselves or reading a book or whatever else they were doing to avoid working and waiting on me. I finally ended up at this store and asked the guy about a pair of shoes and the next thing I knew he had pulled out a bunch of shoes and was trying them on my feet and viola! one of them fit. I didn't care what they cost at that point.

Anyhow shopping for shoes has been a dreadful experience all my life because of my shoe size and now with replaced knees, I can't wear heels at all, etc. I also don't have energy to go from store to store trying to find shoes that fit, I can't afford to pay postage to return pair after pair that doesn't fit if I tried to buy them by mail either. So yeah if I could have the perfect pair dropped in my lap I would pay extra for them, but previous to this point and except for the $42 pair, I usually have gotten most of my shoes at Payless for $10-20. Shoes are becoming a priority for me as the pair I've been wearing for 10+ years is falling apart and I know I need to get some soon! After that they won't be a priority for hopefully another 10+ years! So needs do change! Affordability changes as well, because a couple years ago even if I had found the perfect pair of shoes, I couldn't have 'afforded' them without charging them. Shoes and clothing wasn't in the budget at all at that point.

Which goes to show that everything is really relative, isn't it?