Need some advice on the Giving Tree gift.

[Nika]

We are participating in the giving tree Christmas thing where you get a gift for kids in the at risk youth program or who have problem homes.
Last year we drew a small child and her wish was a very specific toy, so it was very easy.

This year we drew a teenager with very vague wishes, and I am having trouble finding a gift.

Her wishes are clothes, ipod, makeup.

Which ipod? She is probably not wishing for a $50 shuffle. But ipod touches are really expensive and not a very reasonable request.
Would she prefer a new shuffle or a used, working ipod touch with 3g and extra memory? Is it even appropriate to gift a use used ipod?

Make-up... I could get her a nice set like you get in airport duty-free shops that has a little of everything.
How on earth can I pick makeup for someone I haven't seen? I don't know her complexion, hair color, eye color... anything.

Clothing. What kind of clothing, and size S can mean anything. 0? 2? 4? 6?
And where would I shop for a teenage girl.

I think an easier thing would be giving her a gift card to Target or something like that, and let her pick it out, but that is against the programme rules.

If you have an idea of what you would buy if you drew this girl, please share the link! I know some have already shopped for holiday gifts an may have bought or considered certain items that you might suggest.

[SavingSweetOneL]

Hi Nika,

In had the same kinds of problems when buying for my two "giftees". The man liked books/reading, but, there was no indication as to what. I gave what I thought would be good reading material that was used from another thrift store program. He got the 2nd "Joshua" book, and a Garrison Kellier "Lake Woebegone" book. And, one other I can't think of.

I'd get the girl a size 0,2,4,6 tops and bottoms. And, when you deliver the gifts, say whatever doesn't fit, can go to a child that they will fit, buy good used clothes.

As for the ipod, get the high quality, good condition, used one...perhaps off of ebay or amazon. I had to gift my girl a used bike, but, it is what I could give. I found it on Craigslist an hour after it had been listed.

As for make-up, give like three colors of lipstick, for each type of complexion, (pale, dark, and darker?) And, then an eye shadow case with tasteful colors. Total of 9?) Perhaps, some pretty nail polish, two or three. I'm sure sometimes gifts are "rounded" out for the reciepients, this time of year.

Try Amazon, eBay, and Craiglist.

Most of all, do the giving with love in your heart, and hope the child feels it when it is given.

It doesn't have to be as perfect as much as we would like it to be.

SweetOneL

[Redraidernurse]

I'm confused why a child from a poor home would request an ipod if they most likely wouldn't be able to afford songs to put on it? I'm not trying to be rude, I'm honestly curious.

[phantom]

I love participating in giving trees, but I make it a rule never to pick a kid asking for an iPod. I've seen trees where 90% of the kids wanted iPods. It drives me crazy, especially when there's a price limit. I give the kids the benefit of the doubt, assuming they either don't know how much iPods cost and/or that a price limit exists. But, it's still frustrating. Sometimes I think iPod has become a generic term for mp3 player and that the kids might be happy with any brand, but there's no way to know for sure.

Rant over, time for my suggestions...

I would probably go with a new, inexpensive iPod, unless you can find a used one that looks new. I would assume that if the kid really cared what sort of iPod she got, she would have specified. I also assume that kids who qualify for gifts of giving trees don't get many new items, so I like to give them new things when I can.

As for the makeup, I would look for a nice set with a lot of variety. Anything sparkly would probably go over well. When you're a young girl, makeup is more about people being able to tell you're wearing makeup than how well what you pick goes with your natural colors. As long as you give the girl variety, she'll be able to experiment and find something she likes. Even though I didn't care much for makeup as a kid, I received a set with a variety of eyeshadow colors once, and I really liked having a different color of eyeshadow to match every outfit.

As for clothing, I would just stick to tops since those come in size small rather than numbered sizes and fit most body types. When it comes to pants, it is really hard to guess what style is going to fit a young girl well even if you do know her exact size and have seen her body type. If you're getting the girl an iPod, makeup, and a shirt or two, you don't need to get her pants too.

[breathemusic]

Get an ipod nano. it's the next cheapest model up from the shuffle and does plenty. Plus, they just revamped it to a different size and design, so if you can get your hands on a nice used one from the previous model, it might be fairly cheap. I wouldn't go all out with the touch or anything fancy like that.

Does the program allow you to include a gift receipt so that the person could exchange the clothing if the size is wrong? Even if you can't give it to the child, maybe the people who coordinate the program would be willing to accept the gift receipt knowing that the clothing might need to be exchanged for another size?

[disneysteve]

I'm confused why a child from a poor home would request an ipod if they most likely wouldn't be able to afford songs to put on it? I'm not trying to be rude, I'm honestly curious.

I totally agree that an iPod (and makeup for that matter) are not appropriate gifts for an underprivileged child. However, to answer your question, it isn't necessary to spend a lot of money to put music on your iPod. You can just use it to play music you already own in the form of CDs. Or you can buy cheap CDs at yard sales and thrift shops, borrow music from friends and family, etc.

As to the OP's question, I would not buy an iPod. I also wouldn't buy makeup. Those are luxuries. I'd go with clothing. Tops are easier than bottoms since if a shirt isn't exactly the right size, it still works. Pants are a lot tougher to fit. And definitely give gift receipts so the items can be returned or exchanged if necessary.

These giving trees and similar programs always annoy me. Toys for Tots type of programs, too. They will only accept brand new toys. Sorry, but if thrift shop toys are good enough for my kid, they are good enough for yours.

[josetann]

These giving trees and similar programs always annoy me. Toys for Tots type of programs, too. They will only accept brand new toys. Sorry, but if thrift shop toys are good enough for my kid, they are good enough for yours.

So true. And maybe I'm a bit of a scrooge, but a cringe just a bit whenever I hear about someone's Christmas being "saved" because their kids got lots of toys. "We lost our home, their dad died, etc. etc....thanks for all the toys, it made this Christmas the best ever!" How about we don't tie Christmas happiness with material things? Instead of buying an ipod for the boy who lost everything...maybe spend some time with him, provide a nice family meal, sing Christmas carols...I dunno, but it doesn't have to be shiny new toys.

Doubly agree on the thought that if thrift store toys are good enough for my kids, they're good enough for anybody's kids. I get it...you want to do something extra special for these kids...is teaching them that they deserve nothing less than brand-new stuff really going to help them out in the long run? When they fall on hard times in the future...what kind of values do we want them to fall back on? Brand new toys fix everything?

[Bades]

Here is my take on it, as it seems a lot fo you don't think kids/teenagers need "luxury" items. I gave to child services this year in my city, and I bought some small make up bags, little purses, several sets of cheap headphones etc.

For child services, a lot of these kids are in foster homes or their parents just can't afford to get a nice toy or whatever to give their kid a decent xmas. These kids have clothes on their backs and are being fed, but there is barely enough or no money for some of the nicer things any child might want. I don't see a problem with getting a 10 year old girl a $10 makeup kit. I also bought a lot of hygiene products too which apparently they need, and also hats/gloves too.

Now an iPod might be a bit overkill, but they make some pretty darn cheap MP3 players these days ($20+).

[Bades]

Also there is a store by my house that is like a TJ Maxx but even CHEAPER! So I can go there and spend a $100 and get a ton of brand new items for kids.

[jenn_jenn]

I totally agree that an iPod (and makeup for that matter) are not appropriate gifts for an underprivileged child.

As to the OP's question, I would not buy an iPod. I also wouldn't buy makeup. Those are luxuries.

Why shouldn't underprivileged children be given luxuries? I understand clothing would be more practical but sometimes it's not just about practicality. In the spirt of giving, why not give something an underprivileged child truly WANTS, something that they normally are denied because of their underprivileged status.

to the op: Ulta has make up kits for less than $20, perfect for a teen girl. If the program accepts used items, I think a good (preferably like-new) condition used iPod would be preferable to an iPod shuffle.