Daycare or nanny?

[Goldy]

My wife and I are thinking about trying to have our first kid and have decided to keep working after the child is born. That means that we need to get some help for the child from the hours of 8-5 in the form of a nanny or daycare. How much would this cost? Is a nanny better than daycare? This is truly uncharted territory for me.

[snafu]

Making plans for their 1st child is new territory for all couples. Most women take a year maternity benefit/leave. In some places fathers likewise get some paid paternity leave to bond with their new infant. If you have space and don't mind the loss of privacy having a live-in nanny or au pair[foreign student on leave] is easiest for baby.

It takes considerable organization to take infant and support products to daycare each day and reverse the process after work within the time frame the specific daycare requires. It's important to research daycare providers to feel comfortable about leaving your baby in their hands starting with how many infants per caregiver. Rules/legislation changes regularly so it's a good idea to learn what is required and what is extra service.

It was enlightening to read a Forbes article that suggests women are looking for ways to become SAHM. It is incredibly difficult to find balance between career and family.

[muexm]

I have a six month old and I will tell you that childcare is one of the toughest decisions that a couple can make because it takes a lot of trust to leave your child with someone for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Cost will depend greatly on the location but typically a nanny will cost 3 to 4 times the amount of an at home daycare. Everyone is different, but be prepared for your wife to have seperation anxiety or depression and feel the need to take a year or two off because no childcare situation is good enough. You need to talk to a lot of friends who have kids and ask who they trusted for daycare and how much will it cost. Then inteview each daycare to see if it will be a good fit for your family.

[MonkeyMama]

It is perfect to think these things ahead, so you are starting out well. But this also comes with the caveat to be flexible. You won't know what is truly best for you and baby until after the baby arrives.

Nannies are not necessarily cost prohibitive. But they probably make more financial sense if you have more than one child. most people I know with 2 plus kids hired a nanny. Nanny sharing is also common to cut costs. Daycare is so expensive here that hiring a college student to watch child full time is what I am thinking of. (I personally would never do so esp. Dealing with all the neighborhood nannies. Ugh!). An au pair ( basically a foreign college student) will often work for room and board. But might have to change every year. Same with local college students - they aren't as stable.

We had our children part-time at an in- home daycare. They became our second family. I don't identify with any of the negatives of this route, but my spouse was home and so we always had flexibility and choice. I think I'd be too picky for any other situation.

daycare is crazy expensive years 0-3. It gets more reasonable as children age. The daycare we'd pay at public school is pennies in comparison.

Before my child was born I was anti- daycare and had no plans to utilize.

[rxtrom]

Daycare vs Nanny is like apples and oranges.

You get so much more with a nanny than day care but it is much more money. Take a look at care.com and you can find both there.

With a nanny you do not have to pickup and drop off.
Often Nannies will do the child's laundry and clean up after them in the house.
The child is comfortable in their environment and their crib for naps or whatever.
Nanny cam - need i say more.

These are some of the huge benefits and reasons why it is more expensive and really incomparable.

[Redraidernurse]

You've already received some great advice. Let me just say this - if the nanny will be watching your child M-F 8-5, they will be spending as much if not more time with your child than you, the parent, will be. That said, you want to pick someone who you feel will raise your child in a way that your wife & you both agree with. When you interview nannies make sure they are on the same wave length as you as far as discipline, moral values, education, etc.

We went the in home daycare route, which can be more scary than a traditional daycare setting because if it's in someone else's home there are not cameras, etc to really see what is going on. After two years of bouncing around these, we ultimately decided for me to stay home.

[Like2Plan]

My wife and I are thinking about trying to have our first kid and have decided to keep working after the child is born. That means that we need to get some help for the child from the hours of 8-5 in the form of a nanny or daycare. How much would this cost? Is a nanny better than daycare? This is truly uncharted territory for me.

Where you live will be the biggest determining factor for cost. The age of the child will also determine cost of care. In general, a newborn infant will cost more for care.

Here are a couple of examples:
Here is a link to daycare costs in CT 2-1-1 Child Care

Here is a link to north central us 2-1-1 Child Care

A professional nanny is the most expensive option. There are wages, benefits and FICA taxes and so on. The more experience/education the nanny has, the higher the cost for the wages and benefits.

Au pair. I believe an au pair is limited to 45hours a week. As previously mentioned, an au pair is not a professional nanny. I believe they may receive some limited training before being placed. Au pairs generally cost more than day care center, but less than a nanny. I think an au pair would be ideal as a mothers helper as opposed to full time care. Here is a link to au pair America Au Pair in America - Program Fees (not included in the fee structure is the cost of room and board, car, insurance, education allowance and so on)

Daycare center. Pros-- Generally well staffed with folks who have had some training (the level of training varies). Cons- I don't think this is a good option for an infant due to exposure to lots of small children and all the illnesses little ones get. Also, smaller infants need lots of hands on care and a large center is not conducive to the snuggling and interaction that an infant needs.

Certified in home daycare. Depends on your state's regulation, but in my state the limit is 2 infants below age 2 and I think no more than 5 altogether without having to have additional staff. Varying levels of training. Cons to in home daycare is the provider is generally one deep, so in case of illness or emergency you have to come up with alternate care (although some providers have reciprocal agreements in place for such a situation).

Relative care. Generally good (if available), but sometimes comes with baggage. . One of the additional benefits is a strong bond to the relative providing care.

Split shifts. Arrange your schedules so as never to have to have day care. Even if it is possible, it can be really tough to arrange and can be pretty lonely (as you hardly ever see your partner) and exhausting, but that goes along with taking care of a child.

One daycare solution for one age may not be as good as the child gets to be older.

[nimisht]

I have seen my nieces grow up and if you can get family to help you that would be best. If you go the Nanny way, Nanny Cam is absolutely imperative. Do a thorough reference check on the Nanny.

[Goldy]

Thanks for all your replies! I have a feeling that I could set a game plan for how the first year is going to go and it would be wrong starting at day 1.

I have been leaning towards a place near our work that would be really easy to hit both to and from work. Its a group daycare place which for me is a bit comforting since there are always professionals there and you can see your kid online any time. Its also reasonably priced at 900 per month for infants. I find myself trusting that more than a nanny for some reason but who knows.

We have time to decide. Hopefully there are open spots when the time comes.

[MonkeyMama]

I have seen my nieces grow up and if you can get family to help you that would be best.

Depends on your family. Honestly, I don't know anyone particularly happy with a family situation. With the exception if they grew up in a culture or family where that is kind of the norm. Like2Plan mentioned baggage. I've seen some pretty awful baggage! & personally would not leave my kids with anyone in the family unless I was really desperate. (Awesome for a week or a weekend or an emergency. Full-time = trouble trouble trouble/drama drama drama - I See enough with my friends and family who mostly go that route to save money. I couldn't do it - I would go insane).

[elessar78]

Cost is definitely dependent (no pun intended) on geography. Our daycare is a woman who watches several other kids, we live out in the country and our day care cost for one kid is half of what it is in a major metro area.

We lucked out and found a great one. Do research now, word of mouth is probably best.

I'd vouch for a nanny situation, but that's not always possible. Good friends of ours have not had good luck. Their nanny, who comes to their house one on one, they've never been completely thrilled with her.

Our nanny isn't perfect. She prob feeds our kid more junk food (not all the time) than we prefer but that's a small trade off.

[AsiaTraveler]

We have time to decide. Hopefully there are open spots when the time comes.

Great job doing your research now! From what I hear with infant care, if you know you'll want it, start looking for open spots the minute you know you're pregnant. I have seriously heard of parents paying to keep the spot open 6+ months until their baby arrives. Expensive, yes, but also worth it to ensure that your child is in the right care provider. It will depend on how many spots the provider has for infants and what their turnover is like.

[RickLeibo]

Socializing wins

If you have an active social life for your child with involvement in lots of play groups etc. Nanny, however if not you must go daycare. Not only for the much needed social skills but the germ fighting ability!

[leonidas]

How does anyone think a full-time college student can always accommodate an 8-5 schedule? Caring for babies takes far more time and effort than I would trust a college freshman to give. Just saying. Hiring a live-in nanny is fine but I'd want someone more mature and experienced. Plus, college students need to study and this job takes far more time than a student can give without jeopardizing grades.

[JoeP]

Depends on your family. Honestly, I don't know anyone particularly happy with a family situation. With the exception if they grew up in a culture or family where that is kind of the norm. Like2Plan mentioned baggage. I've seen some pretty awful baggage! & personally would not leave my kids with anyone in the family unless I was really desperate. (Awesome for a week or a weekend or an emergency. Full-time = trouble trouble trouble/drama drama drama - I See enough with my friends and family who mostly go that route to save money. I couldn't do it - I would go insane).

My experience is 180 degrees from this. My family helped take care of our kids and it was a huge blessing. The kids got to know their grandparents and bond with them, leaving both with amazing memories that will last a lifetime. They were even taken to play dates with other families in our church and neighborhood. Plus there is 100% trust and assurance, at least with our family. Yes, we got the occasional judgmental comment, but we saved a TON of money and have hours of videotape from the grandparents. I hope we can provide our kids with this service if/when they have kids.