The $80 pair of shoes

[bjl584]

I was at a social gathering last weekend when the daughter of a woman that I know came up to her. The girl is 15 and was headed out the mall with a few friends. She asked her mom for money to buy a new pair of shoes. Now, this woman is a single mom and is raising her daughter on a single income and some child support. Anyway, she hands her daughter $60. Her daughter then complains that that isn't enough. The pair of shoes that she wants cost $80. I was standing close to them and was seeing and hearing all of this. I couldn't believe shoes cost cost that much. I also couldn't believe that the girls mom handed over another $20 to her and sent her off to the mall with $80 to buy shoes. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if the woman wasn't always complaining about money and saying that she is always late with the rent and her car payment. I didn't say a word. I just walked away and started talking to some other people that were there. But, the experience did stick with me. So much of peoples' financial troubles could be fixed with some simple common sense.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

If money is so tight one misses the rent, that does sound like a problem. Priorities!

[cooliemae]

I agree with you in principle, but the situation may have been embarrassing for the woman and even though the $20 may be needed elsewhere, she might not have wanted to have the conversation/argument with her daughter in front of others. At the same time, this may be the only splurge the daughter gets and she wanted to make the most of it.

I guess in the end, we don't know exactly what her situation is so it's hard to make a determination on her act.

[jpg7n16]

I agree with you in principle, but the situation may have been embarrassing for the woman and even though the $20 may be needed elsewhere, she might not have wanted to have the conversation/argument with her daughter in front of others.

I would think being evicited would be a bit embarassing too. Besides he's not talking about the extra $20, he's talking about the whole $80 to be spent on a luxury purchase while necessities are neglected.

At the same time, this may be the only splurge the daughter gets and she wanted to make the most of it.

No it's not. You can tell by the girl's reaction, this isn't the only time she's splurged and bought something. When splurges are infrequent, you don't complain about not being able to splurge enough.

I guess in the end, we don't know exactly what her situation is so it's hard to make a determination on her act.

Not really, it's pretty straight-forward. She complains about not having enough for neccessities, then blows extra money on splurge items. There's no mistake on that, it just happened. Besides, when times are very hard, splurges are the first thing to go.

She is supposed to be the adult and decision maker, not her daughter.

Now if we ventured off into how she's trying to buy her daughter's love since her husband left her and doesn't want to see her daughter go too -- that would be speculating on her situation.

Budgeting isn't psychology or rocket science. It's basic math. $80 spent on kids shoes subtracts $80 from the rest of the home budget.

[snafu]

Sadly this mom doesn't seem to have DD on board with the need to prioritize spending and DD likely doesn't understand they are one pay day from possible eviction. She may feel she is rewarding DD but in reality she is teaching a dreadful message. $80. shoes for a teen who has no 'skin in the game?' What does the teen earn? How does she help the budget/cash flow? How does she get rewards? What does she give mom in return? Teen has no qualms about hitting mom up for extra money when others can easily over hear the conversation...yuck

[breathemusic]

I agree that if money is tight, then spending that kinda money on shoes is nuts. But if you can afford it, I think there are definitely curcumstances where shoes are worth the price. I have flat feet, so I go to those stores that will fit a pair of sneakers to your feet. Not cheap at around $100 for sneakers, but if I know I'm going to the gym or going to be on my feet all day... well my flat feet appreciate the proper footwear, regardless of cost!

[chrisburke21]

Say what? Only $80! They must have been a pair of keds. What about Christian Louboutins? lol