Guardianship of Minors

**marjorie** · 01-05-2006, 05:58 PM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

Willingness, responsibility, value systems that are very similar. I changed my will when I realized my best friend at the time would do the best she could, my kids' upbringing would be much less stable than if I lived. As my folks died when I was 19, the reality hit me harder. Friend is now on marriage 5...

**jodi** · 01-05-2006, 06:54 PM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

Stability was the first priority for us. Since we live with my parents, we chose them. That way, should the unthinkable happen, they would not have to move. My brother and SIL live next door with their daughter and we briefly considered them, but we have different parenting styles and they have also made it clear that they only want one child of their own.
However, my father is 72 and my mother is 56. Although they are willing at this time to be guardians, they asked that we put in a provision that someone else should care for the kids if they became unable. We chose DH's sister and her partner as secondary guardians. Although they live about 2 hours away, we feel they would be the best options as far as raising our boys as we would raise them.
I hope none of us ever need to use this information, but we have to be prepared.

**Snoopy2645** · 01-05-2006, 07:08 PM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

Well I have considered it & I know of no one I would want to take care of my kids I know how sad is that?! I would probably pick a friend over any family member we have no family that could take care of our kids so I havent wrote a will leaving them to anyone because I am just not sure who I would pick

**mjrube94** · 01-06-2006, 05:38 AM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

Snoopy, if you don't want your family taking care of them you DEFINITELY need a will! If you were to die without one, the courts would determine who gets your kids and, most likely, they will look first to close family members. Of course nobody would do as good a job as you, and chances are you'll never need it, but you should pick the "lesser of all evils"...

**PrincessPerky** · 01-06-2006, 06:09 AM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

I am in the same boat of no known person that I want....

But I also know I should pick the lesser of all evils.

**robex** · 01-06-2006, 07:34 AM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

We are lucky because we have lots of family around and I know my kids would have a loving home if something were to happen to us. Dh definately wants the kids to be with a family member. My best friend has kids the same age as our older two, and they parent just like us...same rules, openness, consequences, responsibility etc., our kids have known them since they were born, and, I'm sure, think of them as family. I know that they have a stable and supportive marriage and that is extremely important to our decision. It's a dilemma I'd rather not be dealing with.

My friend just passed away at 39 and she and her dh had redone their will the month before she died. They have two girls ages 3 and 7. Brings things closer to home and makes us realize that we better get moving on this!

**cercis** · 01-06-2006, 08:09 PM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

It's a struggle.

I know my family is out. Many reasons there. We'll just leave it at parenting style.

DH's mom would be great and if she follows in her parents' footsteps, she'll live another 20-30 years. However, the woman keeps breaking her bones with little falls and I'm concerned she couldn't keep up with 2 boys. And DH's stepdad has an interesting parenting style.

DH's older stepbrother has 2 kids and he is severely ADD. Their parenting is close to ours but way more lax and my kids go nuts when they're around him (his ADD is extreme).

DH's other stepbrother is probably the best choice. But, they just had a new baby, so we have no idea what their parenting style would be like AND they live in WI (we live in S. TX and our family all live in OK).

It's a major dilemma. I need to talk to DH and his mom and stepdad and revisit that. They live close to my parents and dh's dad and stepmom, so the boys would still get to have great relationships with all their grandparents (dh's dad is completely out - we'll say parenting style there, that and his housing situation is not suited to two growing boys). MIL lives on a farm and has room for two boys. I am somewhat concerned, though, because she lives in a very rural area and the schools are rather bad. Most kids there don't think about going on to college and if they do, it's the junior college my MIL works at (nothing wrong with that, I went there too, but they stop after the first 2 years).

My BIL lives in Madison - lots of culture, major university, etc. If I could just convince them to move down closer to OK, it would be great.

**DivaJen** · 01-07-2006, 07:41 AM

Re: Guardianship of Minors

I have no siblings, and DH's siblings aren't ideal choices. We chose very close family friends that also have a young child and would raise DD as their own, in a way that we would be happy with. Hate to have to think about such things, but better to plan...

Guardianship of Minors