Married to a spender

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Married to a spender

Well if we had joint accounts we would be in the streets & my dh knows it. He used to be the type who used payday loans & float checks so to speak. I guarantee nothing would be paid if he was in charge he likes to buy junk that is useless. I know where he learned his ways from hi parents & I from mine. So I guess its hard to change the way someone has known for thier whole life ya know

[pyotr]

Re: Married to a spender

I'm pretty sure that unless you have a pre-nuptial contract spelling it out that way, even if you've got separate bank accounts, all the money in both are legally in joint custody of husband and wife. Lawyers correct me if I'm wrong.

[TBH]

Re: Married to a spender

I asked about whether debts became the responsibility of the spouse, too. Here's an article from MSN.com: When it pays to stay single

It lists the specific states (not as many as I would have guessed) where debts become communal property.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Married to a spender

I think you need to look at how responsible you will be for his debt if he passes away, or divorce. Then you need to make sure he is aware of what his debt will do to you. If the honest answer is nothing, then go with counciling for you both (cause it will be a stressful change if he changes) actually reardless, third party counciling might help.

If he honestly understands what he is doing to you and still doesn't care..... then get counciling and a lawyer.

I dream of 60K a year, but honestly more money might give me the excuse to NOT be responsible, right now I don't have much to screw up, so it might be a good thing .

[Ima saver]

Re: Married to a spender

No, my ex never learned his lesson and he died penniless! My husband and I have joint accounts in everything, but he and I are both good with money. If he was a big spender, I would have my own seperate accounts. But you know, now that I write that, I would have to say, I would not stay married to a man that was not responsible. I might give leeway to a young guy who hasn't quite grown up, but after a few years, he should "get it" My 2nd husband was 25 when we married and he had no problem handing me his paycheck and letting me handle everything.

[sweeps]

Re: Married to a spender

My only issue with one person controlling all the finances is if -- God forbid -- something happened to that person, would the other person be prepared to take over?

[robex]

Re: Married to a spender

I handle all money issues at our house. I've tried to include Dh but he really isn't interested. He often says that if he hadn't married me he would have nothing...I don't think that's actually true because he grew up with a depression era parent, in a fairly low income, frugal home. He HATES debt of any kind and we've never not had the credit card paid off in full on a monthly basis. Having a mortgage stresses him out!

However, if something were to happen to me, he wouldn't have a clue where to start. One of my goals this month is to write down where everything is and put it with the will we're working on re-doing. I'll give a copy to my brother, too. Most of our investments are with Investors' Group, and our advisor is a really good friend of ours, so I know between all of them things would work out...

[TBH]

Re: Married to a spender

I handle everything, except spouse balances the checkbook (not as often as I would like).

I really, really need to document this stuff, too. I pay all except one of our bills online now, and he doesn't have the passwords. I need to write up a list for him in case he needs to take it over for any reason.

[Ima saver]

Re: Married to a spender

You all just inspired me. I just went and wrote everything down, including bank names, balances, acct. numbers, minimums, etc. thanks.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Married to a spender

all our stuff is in one spot (where I get it) so even thou I do all the 'paperwork' DH would be able to take the 'black bag' and do it with little trouble. I did that to make it easier on me, but I guess it also would help in an emergency.