Living Together, who pays what?

[l4lori]

Person 1: 2 children ages 16 & 19 No debts Income $45k
Person 2: No children, No debts Income $45k

Dating and living together each person had their own apartment person 1 was paying $820 mo rent
person 2 was paying $600 month rent, both comfortablly. Person 2 moved in with person 1 and began paying 1/2 of the rent, which was $400.

Person 1 now has purchased a home CASH, no mortgage, but plenty of remodeling and insurance and other expenses.
Person 2.... what should this person contribute?

Both parties have no debt, no other loans etc.


Thank you very much for all SANE advice , no jokers please!!

[photo]

Roommates should always split costs down the middle of whatever they share.

When two people get married, then they become one and finances are pooled.

If you're just living with a sex partner, then the agreement is whatever the two of you decide, although if you're smart, you'll keep your finances separate.

[snafu]

I will presume Person 2 has not contributed anything to house purchase and is not on the title. It would be helpful to know the going rate for house sharing in your specific community. What furnishings and household equipment have you supplied? Is there better parking facilities?

If you have the skill sets and time to do some/any of the remodeling,that would affect your share of costs. Since operating a house is more expensive than renting an apartment and offers more space, approximately $ 500. for accommodation takes into account owner's additional costs for insurance and property tax. Will you contribute at least 1/4 of effort required for household chores? [I believe teens likewise contribute their share to chores]

I suggest you contribute 1/4 of food and utility costs.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I'm not sure that a 50-50 split is right, as there is a third adult in the home (the 19 year old) and another teenager, too. They may well use as much hot water, food, space, air-conditioning/heating, paid TV & internet, etc as Person 1 and Person 2. Does Person 2 object to helping support Person 2's children? Does Person 2 care if they do not take advantage in the long run of any improvements they help pay for?

Another way to think about it is, how much rent + utilities would Person 1 charge a stranger roommate who was taken in to help smooth the household income versus expenses? Is that how Person 1 also wants to treat Person 2, as a point of profit? If Person 1 cannot offer Person 2 a separate bedroom and kitchen, is isn't really equivalent to offering a full apartment even if there are additional plusses such as a private yard, swimming pool, spacious public rooms and storage, garage, etc.

[snshijuptr]

I agree that it should be equivalent to a roommate situation. My husband and I lived like roommates before we got married splitting groceries and rent. My usual method is to split the house payment by square-foot of rooms. So here is the formula for your rent:

Your rent = HousePayment / TotalBedroomSpace * MasterBedroomSpace / 2

You may also pay a premium for bathroom space if this is unevenly distributed.

For utilities, that is simply split by the number of people in the house. I always assume everyone uses the same amount of energy and water unless someone is running a server or a home business.

Also don't split the cost of furnishings or any non-perishables except for maybe the bed you both sleep in. If you buy each other "gifts" then those are no longer the gifter's property even if the relationship dissolves. Until you are married, you should be able to walk around the house and point to what is Person 1's and Person 2's.

[bjl584]

Person 1: 2 children ages 16 & 19 No debts Income $45k
Person 2: No children, No debts Income $45k

Dating and living together each person had their own apartment person 1 was paying $820 mo rent
person 2 was paying $600 month rent, both comfortablly. Person 2 moved in with person 1 and began paying 1/2 of the rent, which was $400.

Person 1 now has purchased a home CASH, no mortgage, but plenty of remodeling and insurance and other expenses.
Person 2.... what should this person contribute?

Both parties have no debt, no other loans etc.


Thank you very much for all SANE advice , no jokers please!!

I would keep person 2 off of the title until marriage (if that is in the cards.) Person 2 can split the utilities and the groceries down the middle. House maintance, taxes, mortgage, and insurance would be the responsibility of person 1.

That's how I did it when my then girlfriend lived with me. I was protecting myself. We ended up breaking up, but everything that had anything to do with the house was in my name and she had no claim to anything. I bought the house before I met her.

[DebbieL]

I'm kind of surprised none of this was discussed beforehand. I agree with the last poster, perhaps a split of the utilities and grocery expenses. Person 2 isn't on the title and doesn't really stand to gain anything from whatever improvements you might want to do, so as long person 1 can afford to, they should pay for them, IMO. If person 1 wants to, I guess they can agree to a "rent" amount to charge person 2. If I were living in this situation (dating someone who outright owned a house) I would likely be okay with paying part of the property taxes and splitting other costs of running the house. If agreed to beforehand, I guess I would pay a straight "rent" instead. This seems a little businesslike given the nature of the relationship, but every couple has different things that work for them.

[l4lori]

Living Together, ADDITONAL INFO

The 19 year old does not live in the house, but Person 1 does help 19 year old with finances and college costs, health care etc. 16 year old does live in the home.

While sharing apartment we opened a joint account for shared expenses, such as groceries, entertainment, utilities etc.
The rent was split in half. But now, since there is no mortgage or rent this is the question: what amount does person to contribute? Do they just live there no charge?

Person 2 has agreed to 1/2 utilities, and before moving in the agreement was to maintain $400 mo as this was what they paid when splitting Apartment costs (which saved person 2 $200 mo from having thier own apt) since moving in, the $400 mo contribution is now being questioned.

Person 1 suggested that $400 mo would be reasonable and the $400 mo would be placed into a seperate account accessable only to person 1, in the event the relationship ends one day then person 1 keeps all funds as "rent". If the couple marries, than the account which the $400 mo has been deposited to, would go to upgrade the home or purchase another property etc...

(only person 1 is on title and homeowners insurance, utilities etc. person 1 is accepting ALL responsibility and most ALL furnishings belong to Person 1)

[DebbieL]

This extra info is helpful. So person 2 is now having a problem (personally, not financially) with paying the amount they had already agreed to beforehand? I cannot imagine giving someone a hard time over a $400/month agreed upon amount. Maybe it's because I'm from a high cost of living area, but that seems extremely reasonable to me. This problem may be bigger than I had originally thought (I just assumed you two hadn't discussed the matter before moving into the new house). I would be questioning my relationship at this point if something like paying their fair share (previously agreed upon) is causing resentment.

[cptacek]

wow, this living in limbo thing is sure complicated!

[DebbieL]

wow, this living in limbo thing is sure complicated!

I'm not sure what you mean by "living in limbo"? If you are referring to being in a common-law relationship, I did it for years and it wasn't complicated at all. The issues this poster is having sound like relationship issues, and being married wouldn't likely solve anything. I've seen married couples with huge difficulties over money and who pays for what too.

[cptacek]

I'm not sure what you mean by "living in limbo"? If you are referring to being in a common-law relationship, I did it for years and it wasn't complicated at all. The issues this poster is having sound like relationship issues, and being married wouldn't likely solve anything. I've seen married couples with huge difficulties over money and who pays for what too.

Neither of them have any legal rights or responsibilities with regards to the other. They are not roommates with a lease, and aren't married (even common law). They are trying to figure out what is fair, and are struggling with it. Sounds complicated to me.

[Redraidernurse]

Neither of them have any legal rights or responsibilities with regards to the other. They are not roommates with a lease, and aren't married (even common law). They are trying to figure out what is fair, and are struggling with it. Sounds complicated to me.

I agree, it does seem complicated. There are only a few states in the U.S. that recognize common law marriage.

[snafu]

The additional details help. Does the 19 y/o have designated space and return during school holidays? Since $ 400. had been agreed rent, what is the dispute? The homeowner can use that sum as they wish without permission/agreement of the tenant. Over and above rent the living arrangement suggests you also pay 1/3 food costs and 1/3 utilities. You are benefiting from furniture and home goods.

Did you know that disagreements over money is the biggest reason for divorce? You and person #1 need to sort out financial issues ASAP. If you live in a high cost of living community perhaps $ 400. is unreasonably low. If you were to move into a house share accommodation with a single mother who needed money and liked the idea of another adult in the house...would rent be $400.?

To be brutally honest, you are merely a tenant until you fulfill the legal requirements of Common Law relationship. Ownership, mortgage or mortgage free,liens, property tax, HOA, insurance, remodeling, upgrades, yard work are the responsibility of the title holder.

[DebbieL]

The additional details help. Does the 19 y/o have designated space and return during school holidays? Since $ 400. had been agreed rent, what is the dispute? The homeowner can use that sum as they wish without permission/agreement of the tenant. Over and above rent the living arrangement suggests you also pay 1/3 food costs and 1/3 utilities. You are benefiting from furniture and home goods.

Did you know that disagreements over money is the biggest reason for divorce? You and person #1 need to sort out financial issues ASAP. If you live in a high cost of living community perhaps $ 400. is unreasonably low. If you were to move into a house share accommodation with a single mother who needed money and liked the idea of another adult in the house...would rent be $400.?

To be brutally honest, you are merely a tenant until you fulfill the legal requirements of Common Law relationship. Ownership, mortgage or mortgage free,liens, property tax, HOA, insurance, remodeling, upgrades, yard work are the responsibility of the title holder.

The OP is Person 1, so your comments should be towards Person #2, not OP. OP is having difficulty with person #2 not wanting to pay her the previously agreed upon rent.