Cheap Dates

[marla]

I guess this is a rant of sorts. I went out on a date last night and they guy was a complete cheapskate.

The meal was at a regular style family restaurant. I guess I should have picked up a clue when were were heading toward the restaurant and he said "the portions are really big, Iso I usually split a meal." There are restaurants like that where the portions are big and it makes sense to split a meal (I assumed this), but they were anything but big. Then after splitting the meal, of course it isn't enough to satisfy him because of the size so he keeps asking "are you going to eat that? Are you going to eat that?" and taking food off my plate.

The kicker is when he places a large tip on the table saying that he used to be a waiter and knows how hard they have it. For a brief second I think "ah, maybe I was wrong about this guy" but then as we are leaving, I catch him pocketing the tip as he leaves the booth meaning he left nothing in a tip.

Sorry, just had to vent a bit.

[terry1156]

Re: Cheap Dates

I hope you aren't going to go out with him again. That is really tackless - pretending to leave a big tip for show and then swiping it off the tabe as you leave. That certainly takes the cake.

[luna-mia]

Re: Cheap Dates

If it hadn't been IRL it would actually be pretty funny. Like "When Dates Go BAD!!".... Sorry - it sounds painful and I hope you tell him how tactless you found out he is!

[marla]

Re: Cheap Dates

If it hadn't been IRL it would actually be pretty funny. Like "When Dates Go BAD!!".... Sorry - it sounds painful and I hope you tell him how tactless you found out he is!

I guess if you do look at it from the outside, it does sound kind of funny. Believe me, it was horror the entire night. But now i will have the "date from hell" story to tell for the rest of my life!

[terry1156]

Re: Cheap Dates

That is incredible. I can see why you would want to rant a bit about it. I take it that another date with this guy is not going to happen - lol.

In college, I had the opposite thing happen to me. I went out on a date and my date proceded to order the most expensive meal on the menu. That wasn't a problem. But then she just let it sit there the entire night and didn't eat a bite.

I thought at first she wasn't feeling well, but it soon became obvious that it was a test. I didn't make any comments about her not eating and paid the bill. Once outside she said, "Oh, I am glad we can date. There are so many cheap guys out there who would be mad that I didn't eat anything. If a guy doen't say anything during a meal about me not eating, then I know he isn't a cheapskate. I'm starving...shall we go and get something to eat?"

That was the last date we ever had.

[luna-mia]

Re: Cheap Dates

sounds like another date from hell story. Guess we all need one!

I can see ordering an expensive dinner if you're going to eat it but to NOT eat it and then still say "I'm starved, lets go grab something"..... Its a scary world we live in!

[crosses]

Re: Cheap Dates

Those are both terrible. There is such a huge difference between "cheap" and "frugal" in situations like this.

[midnight]

Re: Cheap Dates

I feel so sorry for you. I can't stand guys like that.

I went on a date three times with a guy. The first time he said he forgot his wallet, I assumed he really did. The second time I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Third time and he was out!

[emily1067]

Re: Cheap Dates

These stories are all awful! Especially considering there are so many inexpensive alternatives when it comes to dating...like making dinner at home or just going for a nice walk. My boyfriend never spent a lot of money on me when we first started dating, but i never felt that way because he always got creative. One of my favorite first dates was when we got ice cream and went to a free concert in the park. It probably cost a total of $4 but it's a night I'll never forget!

[Tree0164]

Re: Cheap Dates

Oh Marla I have to laugh. Makes me glad I am out of the dating scene.

[funnyvalentine]

Re: Cheap Dates

There was just an article in USA today that suggested that you can tell a lot about a person's character by how they treat the waitstaff in a restaurant. I guess his "tip stealing" spoke volumns!

[funnyvalentine]

Re: Cheap Dates

I agree; my boyfriend and I have done everything from volunteering at concerts (where we get to listen for free) to cooking at home, hiking, and doing other types of volunteer work together. We enjoy each other in creative ways, and yes, we occasionally will go out for an expensive play or something like that, but it's definately not necessary.

Conversely, going on an expensive but cliche date with someone who couldn't bother to think of something more interesting doesn't impress me....

c

These stories are all awful! Especially considering there are so many inexpensive alternatives when it comes to dating...like making dinner at home or just going for a nice walk. My boyfriend never spent a lot of money on me when we first started dating, but i never felt that way because he always got creative. One of my favorite first dates was when we got ice cream and went to a free concert in the park. It probably cost a total of $4 but it's a night I'll never forget!

[veronak]

Re: Cheap Dates

OMG I would have been so ticked off, he would have hated me because when I go out to dinner I usually go to top notch places ( I never pay) matter fact I'll be going to a steakhouse tonight and meals start at about $65.00 a plate. What a jerk, who cares where you go and eat as long as teh food is good but to split a meal? That is crazy and then not even leave a tip and to pretend he did wow. So how did you meet and have you spoken to him sense?

[funnyvalentine]

Re: Cheap Dates

The place doesn't really matter; I've had wonderful first dates in dives, lol; actually, that can be really fun. Maybe I'm just jaded, old or both, but judging a man by where he can afford to take you is just a bad plan. I think it's better to judge him by how he behaved and how he treated you on the date....

I met my boyfriend for the first time at a concert. We'd been emailing for a couple of weeks. We did the concert and had coffee at a eclectic little coffee shop; it was pouring, and we got soaking wet on the way into the concert, on the way out of the concert, on the way to the coffeehouse, on the way out of the coffee house...lol. (Every time we get rained on, which seems like very often, we joke that it reminds us of our first date....)

I didn't pay the first couple of times, but by our 4th or 5th date, I did offer to pay for dinner since he had paid for theatre tickets in excess of 100.00. We've found a gracious middle ground, I think, where we both buy sets of tickets (we see a lot of music) , eat simply or cook, and do a lot of free stuff.

I appreciate that he's frugal (but not cheap, in any way), and I think once you get to a certain point in "coupledom", the expectation that the guy will pay for everything is unrealistic and unfair.

[CRFSaver]

Re: Cheap Dates

My two cents:

Local family style place: What is wrong with that? Is the food good? It is not about how expensive a place is but the quality of the food and the atmosphere you want. The purpose of the meal is secondary to the purpose of the date, which is to get to know someone. Now if you were just on the date for the free meal shame on you.


Splitting the meal: That is tacky. You dont split a meal with a date unless you have a deeper relationship with them.

Are you going to eat that?: Very tacky. nuf said.

Picking up the tip? Rude and a liar. nuf said.

Now mind you I am very old fashioned when it comes to taking out a girl. Open the door, nice restaurant, etc... But mind you there are certain rules I play by as well. I will pay the meal, but i expect you to offer to contribute ( I will turn you down but it means you are here to get to know me, not have a free meal). I go to a restaurant that has good food and a nice atmosphere. I go to restaurants that cost 20 bucks for two people (my favorite restaurant in the world and the best food.) to places that have a price-fix menu at 110 bucks a head plus drinks. Again the whole point is to get to know the person.

I do disagree though, this guy is cheap.