What would it take for you to move?

[MonkeyMama]

Absolutely. I have nothing at all against renting. That isn't my problem with this "what if" scenario. I rented for 7 years in med school and residency and then my wife and I rented for nearly 2 years after we got married. The fact that jpg's offer involves renting for 2 years wouldn't bother me at all.

Agreed.

Scfr - I have moved for all the reasons you have, in the past. But, at this point in my life, stability and staying put simply means more to me than $150k. (We have plans to significantly downsize when our kids are grown, so the feeling is somewhat temporary, all the same. I am sure I will move again, to save money. Now is just not the time. It's nice just to settle down for a while in between all the moving. IT's priceless!).

I totally agree with whoever said that we all have our price - of course we do.

[disneysteve]

If I were closer to retirement say two or three years max, then I'd consider 150k.
If, as now, we are looking at 15+ more years, then no I'd probably forego the offer as well.

I hadn't thought about the stage of life issue. I agree with Seeker. Right now, where I am in my life today, it would take a lot more money for me to take the offer than if I was close to retirement age. If retirement was imminent, I'd take the offer, too. At that point, our daughter would no longer be a factor in the decision and we'd probably be seriously thinking about our next stage of life and where we wanted to spend it anyway. I would be much more likely to take a great offer rather than risk losing that money. Risk tolerance generally decreases with age.

[cjscully]

I just can't really understand someone in a normal situation with a $200k house, not taking an offer to sell it for $200k, if they got a $150k bonus on top - and only required to rent for 2 years.

I would definitely move if someone offered me what I owed on my house plus $150k on top of that.

Not sure if even that offer would get some others that I know to move though. Mostly due to their extreme aversion to moving and all it entails.

[jpg7n16]

Not sure if even that offer would get some others that I know to move though. Mostly due to their extreme aversion to moving and all it entails.

Yeah some others I have asked have said the same.

I never realized just how averse to moving some people are. This is kinda eye-opening.

[jIM_Ohio]

Yeah some others I have asked have said the same.

I never realized just how averse to moving some people are. This is kinda eye-opening.

JPG-

I am guessing from some PMs you are among younger people on this board- this is clearly a "life event" type question you might not have as much experience with as others.

Among the 10 most stressful things people will go through are
1) marriage
2) divorce
3) death of a family/friend
4) MOVING
5) new job

There are other things, but I want to focus on these 5- many times these things come in bunches, about the only one a person has direct control over is moving and marriage.

If you get married, one spouse is moving in with other- 2 stressful things at once
If you get a new job, it's possible you have to move- 2 stressful things at once
I have had 3 close friends/colleages/family members die within last 18 months, and my brother was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer as well- these things come in bunches and I have no control over the stress it adds to my own life when I learned of each incident.

Stress eventually catches up with a person. At age 37 thing bother me which did not bother me at 27 or even age 22.

I know I moved a LOT when I was age 20-25. My college was "3 months on, 3 months off" and that repeated for 5 years (normal student) and 6 years (for me- I am not normal ). Those 3 months I did not go to school I was working somewhere- sometimes 60 minutes from campus, sometimes 60 minutes from where I grew up (300 miles away from campus), and one time 700+ miles from campus and 400+ miles from where I grew up. Moving that much does wear on you. Every 3 months for 4 years that process repeated, and towards the end, the moves became bigger and more stressful because a job was usually the reason for the move (like leaving one job, going back to campus not knowing where job in 3 months will be after my last semester, and then needing to make quick decisions once a job was found to find a place to live).

While I am sure many others have a good college "moving in-moving out-moving in" story, and while I am sure my situation was mildy unique but at same time the stressor is the same- moving causes lots of headaches (I will start a thread on moving costs and moving issues to suggest why doing this a lot is a money losing proposition).

It's a matter of how much money is worth the stress. It is a matter of what people are affected by a "selfish?" financial decision? What stress do those other people endure in addition to my own?

Moving is also a good "flashback" period. I have changed states 4 times (lived in western NY, MI, MD and OH) and each time it was like a chapter closing and new opportunity being created. This type of flashback (IMO) is healthy to a small degree (I think), but if a person has kids or other things going on (like a marriage, divorce, job change, family member in ailing health), looking back might take a backseat to other issues, which may prevent a person with dealing with the stress of the move itself.

[jpg7n16]

Jim- of your top 5, I've been through all but 1 & 2. And I don't think me being 25 means I wasn't able to comprehend or experience it. So I don't think that "you just don't understand" applies here.

More specifically, I gew up in the same house from birth, until I left for college (0-18) then lived on campus for 4 years in a new city (18-22) then moved for my job to a new city, 23, then got a new job and moved again to a different city (also this summer my grandmother passed away) 24, then moved closer to my current job 25 (again in a new city).

For your top 5, I've experienced 3 of them in the past 3 years. Of which, moving is the least stressful. It's a slight pain, but you get used to it soon enough.

Grandma passing was the worst.

"but you don't understand, I've lived in this house longer than you've been alive" - I understand you have a strong emotional attachment to the house that has grown over time. That's all it is. It's 4 walls, that happen to be filled with your stuff. Your memories are in you, not in the walls.


So, I can see the stress of moving from say, Florida to Montana. Or from Texas to New York. (New communities, new attitudes, loss of contact with friends, etc.)

But that wasn't what I was talking about. Keep the same neighborhood, same shopping stores, same friends, same schools, same church, same job... just rent a home/apartment around the corner for 2 years, instead of your current home.

This would have saved families literally hundred's of thousands in net worth from the real estate "bubble." (aka 3-5 years' salary for most people) With minimal changes in lifestyle.


Are the emotional connections to the building worth that much? Apparently so to some people, but not to me. And that's not cause of my age.

[jIM_Ohio]

Jim- of your top 5, I've been through all but 1 & 2. And I don't think me being 25 means I wasn't able to comprehend or experience it. So I don't think that "you just don't understand" applies here.


Are the emotional connections to the building worth that much? Apparently so to some people, but not to me. And that's not cause of my age.

It's more about stages of life than age, and as you get older you will experience more stages of life. I am not emotionally attached to my house (I would sell it if I could profit from it), it is about kids being familiar with their room (took us close to 5 weeks to get them to sleep in big boy beds when we changed their room down the hall), so learning a new house and redoing those 5 weeks is not something any parent would look forward too.

If you were married and had kids (whether you were age 25 or 35) your answers would change- that was my point- you are still at a point in life where your decisions impact few people other than you. Like you said if you move, you profit, and your friends are close by, so the move impacted only you and maybe the postmaster general. There is a new life step you cannot comprehend until you live it- marriage and kids will change the stage of life you are in, that is why you did not comprehend the problem the way others did. I moved three times with my current wife and we both know moving again is not on the cards unless another life event on that list hits us (job loss, death, job change, kids graduate).

If you had a wife, and kids, that same decision resonates to more people. Not all kids make friends easily, and even if kid does make friends easily, remember so much of growing up is a steady group of people which live next door or close by (within walking distance).

[disneysteve]

Good post, Jim (#20). Another thing to consider is that with age, you tend to accumulate more stuff and moving becomes a more involved process. I could move to my first apartment with a rented pick up truck and a few runs back and forth with my car. Moving into our house took a team of professional movers and a week or two of back and forth trips in both of our cars (I was married then). Moving today would take weeks of packing and another professional mover plus the stuff we'd handle ourselves, and we're not as young as we once were so that gets increasingly difficult with each passing year.

When I was 21, moving was kind of an adventure. Today, I'd view it as a dreaded event. I'd likely have to take time off from work to prepare for a move as I can't imagine possibly getting it done in a reasonable period of time without that. That means lost wages and increased costs, not something I'd be anxious to do. Plus, in the OP's scenario, we'd have to move twice two years apart, so that would be even worse, though the 2nd move wouldn't be quite as bad because we wouldn't unpack everything we moved the first time. We'd keep it packed and stored for the 2nd move most likely.

[Seeker]

Jim- of your top 5, I've been through all but 1 & 2. And I don't think me being 25 means I wasn't able to comprehend or experience it. So I don't think that "you just don't understand" applies here.

More specifically, I gew up in the same house from birth, until I left for college (0-18) then lived on campus for 4 years in a new city (18-22) then moved for my job to a new city, 23, then got a new job and moved again to a different city (also this summer my grandmother passed away) 24, then moved closer to my current job 25 (again in a new city).

For your top 5, I've experienced 3 of them in the past 3 years. Of which, moving is the least stressful. It's a slight pain, but you get used to it soon enough.

Grandma passing was the worst.

"but you don't understand, I've lived in this house longer than you've been alive" - I understand you have a strong emotional attachment to the house that has grown over time. That's all it is. It's 4 walls, that happen to be filled with your stuff. Your memories are in you, not in the walls.


So, I can see the stress of moving from say, Florida to Montana. Or from Texas to New York. (New communities, new attitudes, loss of contact with friends, etc.)

But that wasn't what I was talking about. Keep the same neighborhood, same shopping stores, same friends, same schools, same church, same job... just rent a home/apartment around the corner for 2 years, instead of your current home.

This would have saved families literally hundred's of thousands in net worth from the real estate "bubble." (aka 3-5 years' salary for most people) With minimal changes in lifestyle.


Are the emotional connections to the building worth that much? Apparently so to some people, but not to me. And that's not cause of my age.

See JPG, I don't "feel" emotionally attached to my house or home. It's a physical thing, and in the whole, I don't generally get attached to physical things.

But I'll admit that I do get attached to convenience and consistency. I do get attached to the emotional aspects of having a house/home that I control, versus having to depend on someone else when there's a leak, or any kind of problem really.

Age does make a difference in moving; the stressors are there. There's risk of damage to property. There's risk of theft. There's risk of loss. There's the physical stress of boxing it all up and being able to find what you need when you need it. There's the physical stress of muscles in physically moving stuff. All of this with age, does NOT decrease; you call moving the "least stressfull" now.... but wait until you reach 50 or so.

All in all, I'll probably remain in the same area for as long as I can; as long as there's work near me, then cost wise - there's no better way for me to exist by owning at this point in my life. Almost 20 years I've lived here, and over that time span even with interest, maintenance, taxes and HOA fees, I would have paid more in rents and have nothing to sell at the end.

20 years of rent versus a 150k home? What's it worth today? I don't know or care. What it's worth when I sell will still get me a sizable chunk of money that I would not have had if I had rented over this same period of time.

It's not "attachment" to a house; it's "attachment" to control. And it always will be about controlling the world in which we currently operate. Controlling costs. Controlling jobs. Controlling environment. Controlling yourself.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I'm more attached to my garden than to my house. I would be very sad to leave it. And it is not just the plants and their arrangement. It is the very soil which I have worked for 17.5 years to make rich and healthy. Then there are the nearby gardens, not part of my own real estate, that I am building up and tending. Two are on neighbor's lots and one in public land. I could leave those more easily, but not happily.

A few years ago, we got an offer to sell our house at considerable profit. A developer was making offers to a row of 6 homes with the intent to tear down and build luxury condos. One neighbor sold, and the developer had evidently thought he could get the rest of us to sell. In fact, he offered to keep us in the neighborhood by making a swap into another of his developments. It was a deal by which both sides would have profited. But for me, it was not about profit.

I really did not want to see further invasion of luxury homes into my neighborhood (not that there are many). The first development this company had made sold well, but left nearby neighbors angry and heartbroken. I won't describe the destruction of the heart of the very stable, old neighborhood, and it was not wrought by the developer alone, but it was horrendous in my opinion. Mine is a decent, livable neighborhood with very modest homes that lower working class people were sometimes managing to buy. It has a very wide, wooded parkway down the middle of the street--so wide and pleasant that there used to be a sign saying that no baseball games should be played there--but kids did play ball anyway. That is a feature usually seen in more upscale neighborhoods and it really gives the place a lovely feel of peace. I did not want my street to turn into turn into an avenue of tear-downs making way for behemoth houses with behemoth mortgages. I did not want to see people of means like my own or lower be unable to buy or rent at reasonable prices in this neighborhood.

So it was, in part, idealism that led my husband and I to say no to the offer. It gvea me a good feeling to see that others said no as well. One was very interested in the offer, but wanted even more for her house, so declined the final offer. The person who did sell got probably 160% of what market value would have been otherwise. The developer felt so sure that there was a huge profit to make.

So as for moving, I would need a better reason to do so than just money to be made.

Just picture me as the the take-no-gruff, old, "widder woman" in a black & white 1940's movie holding a shotgun against the people trying to run her off her beloved farm. (Well except that I don't really know how to even load a shotgun. ) I love my garden. I like my neighborhood. My house is suitable enough. And I don't think profit changes any of that.

[cptacek]

If someone wanted to pay me $150,000 for my house, I would be out before the lights could go dim.

[jpg7n16]

hah this is an interesting little scenario I created

I really hope everyone understands that I do see value in the emotional aspects of this all.

The walls remind you of memories of your children growing up and running around the house; the kitchen is made specifically to make you comfortable when you eat; your garden has taken years to build just like you want it; the routes to work are so convenient and easy; it's so much easier not to have to worry about moving everything you own; there have been good times had by all.

I get that, and I understand it adds legitimate value - just didn't think it would double the value of the property (moreso for DS - which was prob 3-4 times the market value).

[LaVicky]

I would move out for the $150,000. Actually I have that set up on zillow dot com and used the "Make me move" feature, which you can edit your own address and set a price on, Of course im getting no offers cause my price is higher then what homes are selling for.

Im not attached to this house even though Ive owned it for 10 yrs now. It was a good deal and why we purchased it, I divorced shortly after getting it so the home has a lot of memories from the bad marriage and work the ex did on it. I am a fan of old style homes with character and rented one before owning this one for 4 yrs, I LOVED that house, all the built ins, coziness, fireplace, breakfast nook, basement, nut and fruit trees, huge backyard. I was literally in love with the house. So I know what emotional attachment feels like and I yearn to be in a home like that one again. I also live in an area of town with a declining home market and could be termed as the "Ghetto" so I know I will not be staying here.

Im actually decluttering and cleaning out my place and gearing up for a move at some point. Whether its out of state for my husbands job, or in town and just unloading mine, renting a home close to my teens schools and staying there till they are of age(I have 1 yr 7 mos for one, and 3 yrs for the other) and we have discussed selling this house to get out of a bad area and renting in a better area, putting the profit off the house in the bank and then my husband and I will use that to put down on a new place when we figure out where we are gonna be once the kids are grown. Right now hes working out of state so I juggle the care of a house on my own most of the time so a rental would also be nice for me as I can call the landlord for any problems that arise.

Moving is a pain, but Im still open to it (late 30s)

I was previously married to a man horrid with finances. I moved about 6 times in 5 yrs and was pregnant during the last move, I had it, and was emotionally a wreck. Moving, financial stress and pregnancy all at once, yeah that was STRESSFULL.