Feeling Guilty

[graceful]

I would feel guilty too. But you absolutely did the right thing.


It's tough to see friends and family struggling. Especially, if you know that they are not truly irresponsible people.

I think lending out money the first time is not always a bad thing. IF you can afford to write it off as a gift. This is when you know that they are going through a rough patch not entirely of their making. After all, I hope if needed, my family and friends would do the same for me if needed, knowing that I AM responsible with my finances.

However, future financial dealings with them would depend on how they re-pay you back. I think that if he had paid you back what he already owed you or even made a good faith effort, you probably would have lent the money to him this time also.

I don't blame him for asking you for another loan, he's trying to find a short term solution to his problem. However, he should have expected a refusal. I hope he doesn't hold your refusal against you. True friends wouldn't. And if he mad at you, then it really re-enforces that you really shouldn't have lent him the money - not even the first time...

[Ima saver]

I had a friend who was about to become homeless. I loaned her money. She could not pay me back right away, but she told me she would pay me as soon as she got her income tax refund and she did. So, I would loan her money again, but I would not do it again, if she never paid me back.

[wincrasher]

I had another friend - more of an aquaintance really - make the off-hand comment - "you really have it easy".

I gave him the old side-eye and told him "I am by far, the hardest working person you know!"


I do worry that my nephews are getting a sense that money comes easy. The oldest has made the comment that "boy are you lucky". I've tried to explain that luck has nothing to do with it.

I'd like to see them with some summer jobs cutting grass or odd jobs in the neighborhood. I've currently got them walking my dog everyday for $10 a week.

[disneysteve]

I had another friend - more of an aquaintance really - make the off-hand comment - "you really have it easy".

I do worry that my nephews are getting a sense that money comes easy. The oldest has made the comment that "boy are you lucky".

I see this a lot. People assume that the people in good financial shape just woke up that way one day. And they also assume that they can't get there themselves. They don't seem to understand that those of us who are financially comfortable have worked hard and scrimped and saved and sacrificed to get where we are. Because of that, they don't see that if they stopped spending all their money on wants and luxuries, put in some extra hours at work and started managing their money better, they could get themselves in better shape, too.

[bjl584]

I see this a lot. People assume that the people in good financial shape just woke up that way one day. And they also assume that they can't get there themselves. They don't seem to understand that those of us who are financially comfortable have worked hard and scrimped and saved and sacrificed to get where we are. Because of that, they don't see that if they stopped spending all their money on wants and luxuries, put in some extra hours at work and started managing their money better, they could get themselves in better shape, too.

I was once accused of living in a fantasy land by a coworker because I was going to spend my weekend servicing my vehicle and washing and waxing it. He claimed that people in the real world don't have time for that kind of thing. He has kids and soccer practice and etc. Who has time to take care of their car?, he asked. It's a just a car anyways, he said. A car payment is just something that you have to deal with, and he will never own a car outright because it will be worn out by the time it's paid off, he stated further. So I countered that a car is often the second most expensive investment that people make other than a home. You need to take care of it so that it will take care of you. If you service it and keep it clean, then it will run many years after it is paid off. Upon hearing this, he went right back into his montage that I live in a fantasy world and that if I had kids and bills like he has, then I wouldn't be focusing so much on my car. At this point I just claimed I had some work to get done, and I walked away. I guess there are some people that you just can't reach, to quote the Warden in Cool Hand Luke. Sigh........

[disneysteve]

I was once accused of living in a fantasy land by a coworker because I was going to spend my weekend servicing my vehicle and washing and waxing it. He claimed that people in the real world don't have time for that kind of thing.

A car payment is just something that you have to deal with, and he will never own a car outright because it will be worn out by the time it's paid off, he stated further.

I love when people say they don't have time to do the things that would save them money or earn them more money but they always seem to have plenty of time to go out and spend their money.

[irmanator]

Quote
"I see this a lot. People assume that the people in good financial shape just woke up that way one day. And they also assume that they can't get there themselves. They don't seem to understand that those of us who are financially comfortable have worked hard and scrimped and saved and sacrificed to get where we are. Because of that, they don't see that if they stopped spending all their money on wants and luxuries, put in some extra hours at work and started managing their money better, they could get themselves in better shape, too."

I think this is because some people live in an area where there is a lot of lower income paycheck to paycheck types and don't see or know anyother way. I used to be like that till I found a blog that got me thinking and it has been a journey changing my attitude. I will tell you that. I find it hard to talk to ppl in real life about it cause I am still around a lot of people that are paycheck to paycheck. There is no getting around that right now, not gonna move just for that. I just don't talk money and I change the subject. I get my money talk and info off the internet. Don't know what I'd done if I didn't have the internet and SA as a resource.

[woodie96]

I think the OP position kind of goes back to the old saying....."fool me once shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me"

It is unfortunate with the economy in such a state that decent paying jobs are hard to come by, but however on the other hand, one cannot live like that great paying job will be there forever. You never know when something will happen.